CowgirlJane

RJ said it. I am 2.5 years from my band to sleeve revision and I have MORE restriction then I did a year ago. I attribute that to eating very low carb, eating small quantities and probably even doing 5:2. I don't know what advice to give you because i know how frustrating a failed WLS can be and I surely don't blame or fault you in any way. I am just suggesting that maybe you can start over again with following the rules really rigidly and see what that does for you. Do you have any local support type options - a group or a counselor or someone experienced to talk this through with?

Well, the point I am trying to make is that even plastics does not "fix" self image issues. I noticed this when I was researching plastics and talking to different people about their results. People who basically hated their looks still found fault even after significant improvement from plastics because you are still not perfect AND you have scars! For example, I still have extra skin on my torso under my arms - side boobs! At first I was a little appalled, like it was so noticable after the rest of me was improved. What I have realized now is to just be a little careful about what kind of top I wear and I look great. I spent enough time at the gym and even the beach to know I look dang good for 49 - so get over it (talking to myself).... never gonna be perfect. So, I am suggesting you are on the right path to just forget about plastics and continue to work on your own thoughts about yourself. I think negative self image, doubts about excess skin etc can keep us from attaining the weight loss goals which should be first priority. I can absolutely guarantee you that you will look and feel better at a healthier weight even with "saggy" skin then you looked and felt with all that extra skin stuffed with fat. The key is getting your own mind to see that you do indeed look better.

Okay, so even though the sleeve is not malabsorptive, it seems like something is different that we are prone to these kind of problems.

Our stats are similar. I did have plastics and it made a big difference but I looked and felt great even with the excess skin! What do you think it would take for you to feel that way?

I could have written this. Been there done that with the ex I still give money to. Sigh.

Janey... many of us had a long way to go.... don't make that hold you back from fitness goals. Some health clubs like the ymca have classes for beginners. ..101 classes they called them. Also you can buy a yoga dvd ..read the reviews on amazon to be sure you are getting a good one.

Desk job I think 1-2 weeks. Main issue is to avoid tension on incision so reaching, lifting etc is limited. I was so hesitant about doing the arms because of fear of the scars but I am so glad I did. Changed my whole profile!

pop tarts aren't that great... I would either have fresh fruit OR a really GOOD pastry instead.

I am getting serious about finding someone to enter a relationship with... there are topics around this that i would like to discuss with other single ladies in a private setting.... I have created a private / members only group for those discussions. We can share some experiences, give feedback on profiles, talk about how to "stay safe" and maybe tips on how to be successful at this! Any of you that are in the middle of this fun and games are welcome to join but need to be invited as it is a private group. Contact me via if you are interested and I will invite you!

I believe that both the food and the weight created a numbing barrier to many things. One of the things I tried pre sleeve was going to an eating disorders clinic. They told me I did not have a classic eating disorder but rather that I used food as an emotional ballast. Like when the world just got to be too much, I would be driven to overeat to help numb it all. It explained why even though I am well educated on healthy eating, I actually LIKE healthy eating... I couldn't maintain it for the long run. As the years rolled on, it got worse... like I could do well on weight watchers for a few months but then would just jump off the food cliff so to speak. I do want to say that there is largely a physical component for me as well. I mean, I really was physically hungry all the time. I think that situation was created by a lifetime of abusing food and messing up my hunger sensors. so having the surgery helped with that, and then losing weight has created new challenges for me. PDXMan you state much of it well. I am getting better and better but it was strange to me that I didn't really go through too much of a "I miss food" during the weight loss phase but the emotional aspects of all this surely hit me in 2014. I really DON'T miss food anymore, but I am clearly missing something.... I am an empty nester, and due to the nature of my work live a somewhat isolated life. My family of origin dynamics changed over the last 5 years too - so bottom line I used to live in a whirlwind of people activity and now I live a quiet life which is disorienting. I am working hard to increase my social outlets which were already pretty good, but living alone now means I need MORE of that. My inner life is getting calmer and better but this is no joke - alot of adjustments. Who knew that fat and food were such an effective "mood drug"???

I look at my before pictures regularly. In my office I have a face shot (passport photo!) of what I looked like at over 300 versus what I looked like at goal (heavier then I am now. I look at it everyday to remind myself of how far I have come. The full body before shot is hard to look at, but i do that regularly too. IT is sad to see the pain and discomfort but then the positive reminder is of just how far we have come!!!

woo woo - is that a papillion in your profile? i love my little pap! Oh, and some of the ones without photos are married guys or unattractive ones but I am sure there are gems in there as well. I have accepted that MOST, but not all men aren't very conscious of their own appearance so don't take care to have amazing photos so try to not judge them too hard on that one. Not all of them can write blazing amazing profiles either, so I just try to think in terms of compatible interests. I just want a guy to be in somewhat decent shape, live a reasonable distance, have a job/career and compatible interests (outdoorsy girl here!). Chemistry, personality, how well they commmunicate etc I just can't judge until we meet. In fact, the big fat liar that i encountered had great photos, was very charming - in hindsight a total player that knew how to work the system. I suspect some of the less impressive profiles are more ordinary guys... watch out for the silver tongued slick dudes. I did learn a great lesson - catch em in the very first fib and they are GONE because who knows where the lies stop and the truth begins? I decided that many people lie on their profiles and i used to be somewhat okay with it, but have decided it is a huge red flag. There are two topics men commonly like about that are obvious to notice when you meet - their age and their height.

Well Suzy, I agree, but i think the initial meeting for a coffee or something similar is not a bad idea. I don't consider that a date either... and if I decide to see them AFTER the coffee meeting I expect something a little more interesting. Lowes, Walmart etc would not be acceptable..haha Friday night someone I recently met took me out to a lovely place on Alki beach - an evening of chatting, nice seafood and watching the boats and everything over the Water as it got dark... very romantic and I had a great time. I got a bit chilled and so he fetched his coat that I wore over my sweater.... rolled the sleeves up to not dip them in the clam chowder. We stopped at a boat launch at gazed at the city lights and talked some more under the moonlight. Now that is a date! BTW, our first meeting was at a family friendly pub kind of place. The idea was to just have a beverage but we liked each other's company and wound up having dinner together on our initial meeting. something like that is also a good alternative to meeting at a coffee shop.

I have a premier protein daily and it claims to have 50 percent of calcium RDA. Add it to some calcium pills eating yogurts etc and could get to recommended level.

The biggest faking liar I encountered was from Match. I don't think POF is any more a hookup site than the rest ... Okc is a good idea with the questions but I didn't have a lot of success finding men I was interested in.

I was having trouble with my kindle... not sure why. Fiddleman's post was well written and much of it resonanted with me. I am 2.5 years out - so similar situation timewise anyway. I was not the one who said that plastics reduced chance of regain due to fat cell removal. I don't know if that is true or not, but I am not inclined to believe it because #1 I think most of the really harmful fat cells are in our torso between the organs and #2 I know several people who have regained after plastics. I had two reactions to the thoughts... first is that "normal" people put on weight especially as they age. If you look around you will notice that many many people could stand to lose 20-30 pounds. I think as the formerly obese we are so afraid of regaining everything that we tend to get caught up in the idea that we must do whatever it takes to remain at a certain target. Heck I WANT to stay where I am too, so I get it, but my point is that normal people eat a bit more and gain a bit of weight and that isn't the end of the world either. I do think that the possibility of a "normal" weight gain is something that many of us should wrap our heads around as a possible long term outcome and not let it turn into a massive regain. My second thought was along the lines of what you were saying. I am sometimes shocked at how little I eat compared to others. There is this little part of me that wonders why I don't weigh even less...haha... I sometimes wonder if it is sustainable, but for now it is not a problem. I realize that it can change in a heartbeat though. There is something about eating low carb/clean - in my opinion bigger influence then working out - that makes you lose your appetite for the junky stuff. I feel like I was more worried about regain at 2 years out then I am now 6 months later. I know it could still happen though.

How do you make a private forum like this one? I had a fabulous outdoorsy weekend. My weight was 140 yesterday. I think I am good. Maintaining 135-140 but don't want to get any smaller. A friend who last saw me around Sept last year told me I am officially a skinny bitch now. That was a compliment... I still don't see the difference but everyone else does.

I lean toward healthy habits but I still have great restriction and do not keep eating... stop when no longer hungry... so they go hand in hand.

Yeah, I am going to physical therapy...come to find I am pretty messed up. Uneven muscling, flat lower back etc.

Overlake in Bellevue also welcomes all...

Same for me...they moved down but are nearly invisible not stretched.

They go on sale regularly for about 20 bucks for 18 like Sammie mentioned. I like strawberry and chocolate. My best friend likes strawberry and vanilla. I buy several cases for both of us when they go on sale so never pay the full price. There are a couple of other awesome Protein bargains there if you decide to join.

Loved the story of Jack!

I have typed two thoughtful and inspiring posts in reply to fiddle man .hahah...and they both went POOF ...Some things are just not meant to be. Good post fiddle.

So, I know some of us have been feeling a bit "low" lately. I think I would love us to refocus on "eating and living" right. I don't want to do 5:2 right now but i need support to reduce my coffee (AGAIN!) and improve my vitamin and quality of eating AND resuming my high intensity of exercise. For me it doesn't matter if it is 5:2 or something else - but just to sort of get back on a healthy track. I am backing away from my relationship with Steven. I thought i had ended it, but really hadn't and I guess I have mixed feelings because I am "Attached"... but he no longer makes me feel like a million bucks and I think that is a sign... I might maybe possibly have met someone that is worth getting to know. Cautiously optimistic... he seems normal, fun, responsible, tall, handsome, fit, lives nearby, (bald, but I can live with that). He is yet another conservative republican but as long as he isn't mean spirited or racist about it - I am completey fine with that. Only time will tell. I have learned alot in this dating process and feel much wiser about how to approach it and I think also how to "Read" these guys as alot of em are flakey faking liars...ha.