CowgirlJane

Georgia, more than once I was told that I was very "active and capable for someone so heavy". I chose to take it as a compliment. Okay, I am having a bit of a hard time getting over Steven. I don't mean like crying or anything... more like that little twinge of wishing he could be what I want him to be. And then, he told me he is taking the big trip to Germany (leaving tomorrow) that we had sorta planned on doing together about 6 months ago - a big midevil fair thing some people he know host at this old castle. Anyway, I am quite sure if we were still together he still would not have invited me. I am also pretty sure he didn't decide to go until like a maybe last week (that is how he runs his life). I wondered for a moment why he decided to tell me - at first I thought he was getting a dig in, but that isn't like him. Then I realized he was trying to be honest and not leave me hanging cuz we are supposed to go out to dinner and sometime soon and discuss I guess "being friends" or at least reminisincing over good times. I don't need advice, I know what needs to happen here - that relationship served an AMAZING purpose for me but it is just DONE now. I am still sad a little. I hate this about myself - I get so sentimental over things that "could have been". Oh well, I am a passion filled person and i guess that is what comes with the territory. I am eating super well, work is busy but good, I am getting ready for a girls weekend away coming up. Life is good. Tino and I have broached the subject of planning a trip. Well, I brought it up actually. It is my nature to hold way off on this sort of thing but I have decided to push things a little because I WANT certain things out of this relationship and if they don't seem likely... well... I will need to re-evaluate. Things are going great with him except for one small thing. This is actually a good trait that he spends as much time as he can with his daughter but they completely run the show. Like, there is no set pattern or agreement and they change their minds at the last minute. so, he basically is booked practically every weekend with them unless they have other plans. Then they will bail if they get a better offer. He and I are going to go to Cannon Beach and his big stressor is how his daughter is going to handle him not being at her beck and call that particular weekend. (Seriously, they call and he does whatever they ask). I value highly that he is so focused on his daughters as a human being, but again, this is a little bit about what's in it for Sheryl. (I know that sounds really bad, but I am being honest this is the first time in my life I have thought this way). I met his 13 YO daughter and really like her alot but we are still in the limited contact mode.... Anyway, I think we will work it out and I really do admire his dedication to them. I am wise enough to keep my mouth shut about how obviously they manipulate him and play him against their mom etc, but as he tells me the stories of incidents I think he realizes it....haha I am really wanting to hear from the rest of you... it's been quiet and I miss hearing about the days of your lives... Sarsar, when is the plastics scheduled for? Do you have help lined up at home? I forgot, are you getting arms and breasts? If so, here is a tip, have dishes for you on the counter, so you don't have to reach up on higher cabinets the first weeks.

I am so sorry. Words don't begin to describe the loss My younger sister died if cancer at age 39, we had been very close. She suffered mightily, way more than I thought possible. I had trauma from the memory of her pain. Her cancer spread to her bones and she died of her bones collapse onto her organs. I am only sharing this so you know that what you have gone through is huge. Seek some help and support. It took me about 7 years after she died for me to face the trauma aspects and I don't recommend that path.

My junior sized suitie!!!

Okay, I want a 2 piece swimsuit - I guess a bucket list item. I tried on lots of them but didn't do too well in the womens department. They have string bikinis and they have "matronly". The more modest ones didn't come in my size - I have a size 4 butt and modest bottoms in my local stores tended to start about size 10. Some of the prettier ones (that were not string bikinis) were too big OR were ridiculously expensive... I don't think I should pay $150 for a two piece swimsuit! So, i wound up getting one out of the junior section. I bought Jr med bottoms and XL junior top and it fits, good price at 50% off sale. Not a string bikini, but not a matronly skirt type deal either. Anyway it continues to blow my mind that I fit in the juniors section. I remember going swimsuit shopping previously and had trouble finding suits big enough... I still feel kinda strange wearing a two piece but since I plan to wear a coverup most of the time, it will be fine. My new boyfriend has a boat so I will feel comfortable wearing it when it is just he and I or when I go in the Water. I guess this is a NSV - I look somewhat reasonable in a bathing suit these days!

It helped me alot when my surgeon explained to me the physical change that has happened to me. It doesn't matter how I got there (well it does, in some ways) but it does matter to be educated on how to manage the solution. I have obesity, a disease that changed my body and metabolic response. Currently my primary symptom (excess weight) is under great control, but I still have this disease/condition. I think it is similar to type II diabetes... yes, people with that disease did things to contribute to getting it, but at this point they need help managing it. The surgery was my "help" or tool in managing and controlling my obesity. No guilt. No shame. Just doing what I need to do to improve my health and my life.

Hey, my ex primary care doctor suggested that if i would just buy the right cookbooks I wouldn't need the sleeve. She is my EX PCP for a reason.

I believe in self acceptance - at all sizes, weights and life circumstances but i will never and have never believed in fat acceptance. It is like promoting that smoking is perfectly great for you. No it isn't. Being obese is not good for you either. It does NOT make you a bad person, I accept the fat person, but I don't accept that being obese is an ideal state (same way I accept smokers). I also don't accept that you can be healthy over the long run... sooner or later that extra weight will catch up with you.

Then there are the in betweeners and I think this is where it gets sticky. Whole grain bread is good for you... healthy carbs except for some of us that type of food triggers cravings and hunger and over eating. Simply having bread (even whole grain, high fiber) in the house is a challenge for me - one that is going to rear it's head again when my son moves back home as he needs all that kind of food. I don't count carbs, but i focus on Protein, veggies and berries and selected fruits. I do sometimes have Protein Bars, a glass of wine etc so I don't want to sound like i am really strict because I am not - but on a daily basis, I try to focus on basic food and limit most types of carbs. The reality of the situation is that post menopausal women such as me just don't get to eat much to maintain a normal BMI. This is why most are overweight at this age. It is also a reality that some of us are more sensitive to carbs than others. I don't think I could have gotten to goal without carb restriction frankly so while I agree with your basic premise (carbs are not evil) I do think that not all of us have the same experience either. I do not get brain fog but I am starting to speculate on the possible impact on mood issues... that eating low carb can make you more prone to feeling kinda down. I am doing research....

success breeds success in my view. Progressive improvements in fitness, mobility and feeling good are very motivational. Then, you start to notice you look alot better. I think the opposite is also true and when people are feeling demotivated (whether exercise or whatever) it is helpful to think about disrupting the defeat pattern and getting back on a succcess cycle. It is a normal part of life, even dedicated, life long fit people aren't always perfect. It isn't about perfect, it is about DOING IT.

Bob, I think you have a healthy attitude. The thing I don't think I shared is how incredibly self conscious I was once I got to a weight where I was no longer invisible. Obese women are somewhat invisible outside of our role as moms or whatever. When people started noticing me I kept thinking my skirt was tucked in my pantyhose or something - you know bad attention. I am mostly over that however.... Yesterday I was out and about swimsuit shopping etc and I couldn't help but notice women especially glancing at me all day. It started to get unnerving. Then, i had two store clerks admire my beautiful and noticable necklace - and then i realized that is probably what people were glancing at. I am not sure why this is especially true for women that while I like attention, I like looking good and people noticing my improvements it is also uncomfortable at times. I have gotten much better though and really embrace it because it is pretty dang obvious that I am like half my former size. Burying my head in denial changes nothing so I have opted to embrace it even if it is awkward at times.

[ATTACH]45537[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]45538[/ATTACH] Ok we are among friends. Wearing this on the boat ie not exactly public or no? Am I too old and jiggly for this even if it is just my boyfriend seeing it? I got this suit out of the juniors section because in the ladies it was either postage stamp string bikinis, or didnt fit or cost a stinking fortune. The boyshorts made my thighs worse. Even this suit I could use a bigger cupsize but the halter style gives me side boobs as I still have extra skin there.

Cholesterol is so much genetics...mine was great even when I was obeses. Now I am like at numbers considered excellent. My sis warned me it can even go too low...who knew. Sounds like everyone had a nice fathers day. What have any of you heard about low carb and depression? I am starting to notice a possible link between low carb (and perhaps fasting and low calorie)with mood down turns.This weekend was a perfect setup for the blues but I did NOT experience it. I ate alot and I ate very carb heavy. Just curious to notice. My kid graduated from college on Saturday, very proud of him. I spent the day with my exhusband his Russian girlfriend, his mother and other ex family PLUS my ex live in boyfriend (the kids stepdad), plus my brother and his family. It was surprisingly pleasant and no anxiety. I carpooled with my ex boyfriend of 15 years and that wasn't even stressful. Sunday's can be bad days...and as the day after I wondered if it would happen but it didn't. It rained Sunday so I didnt ride all weekend. I spent Sunday alone and was fine. That is unusual as I try to have plans for Sunday as it is more prone to being lonely. I bought a swimsuit. The boyshorts looked awful on me so I wound up with something else. I figure I will wear a cover-up unless I am in the water or on the boat with Tino so i am not gonna worry about my thigh jiggles. Now I need someone to take decent photos so I can do my long awaited before and after photos collage.

I will share and they should be here any day now. I do think a nutrients issue could definitely trigger a mild depression but I think the truth is a lifetime of anxiety has been stuffed down with food and is now coming home to roost so to speak. I am doing great at the moment and learning (i hope) to retrain my brain how to react. Yesterday was my kiddos college graduation so I spent the whole ceremony plus a dinner party after with my ex husband his girlfriend his mother and other relatives PLUS my ex boyfriend of 15 years who is the kids step dad PLUS other relatives. I wondered how stressed I would feel with all the ex's etc. but I felt great, no anxiety and a huge appetite. It was a wonderful day as it should be -very proud of my boy.

The polka dot panties and bra is just to show how I look. The other 2 were taken at target. I'll try old navy for the boy shorts. Thanks!!!

Some crappy photos. I am trying to decide if I am being ridiculous two piece suit shopping. I can buy the cheap target ones as they are not not bra sized...so getting ready to place an online order. Anyway this is what I look like at 140, 10# less than plastics weight. [ATTACH]45490[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]45488[/ATTACH] [ATTACH]45489[/ATTACH]

The stats have been explained already but did you know that maintaining massive weight loss without WLS has something like a 95% failure rate? That means significant regain not just a little bounce We need to get away from all or nothing thinking. Regaining 20-30# is NOT the same as regaining 100-150.

Denise I am asking because I don't know what's normal but it seems strange that Bill would have a fit over you staying in an empty house owned by a friend you were married to 40years ago. I would be uncomfortable withholding that info for worries I would accidentally let it slip and then it really is an issue. I go to my sons graduation today and my Ex (kids step dad) is riding with me and my older son. My Ex husband (kids dad) will be there but not riding with me. I didn't owe that info to Tino but I told him and he responded that it was good we got along that we'll.

LivingFree has it 100% right

I have been feeling good...hoping I have bounced back! Tino makes me feel so cared for, he is physically and verbally affectionate and seems to like me. ..I am apparently not used to all this because it makes me feel like pretty great. I have revealed many of my flaws and it hasn't scared him off yet. I was so relaxed after dinner the other night i fell asleep on his sofa after dinner...just at peace in his presence. his 13 YO girl is dying to go riding with me...you have no idea how much I covet a sweet horse crazy girl. Deep breath. Good but super busy week at work. Been eating. Kiddo graduates college tomorrow....lots of good things in life. Going to see counselor on Monday to discuss what derailed me. I know the trigger but what I want to learn is a more generalized solution. I do feel good that I recognised what was happening and tackled it quickly. I also recognize that it didn't get THAT bad but I now feel good and can't tolerate any anxiety....Like I need to be okay with it when it does happen. My best friend's old horse died last night. I took her out and we had a really nice night. I am sad for her but that horse had a good long life and a peaceful passing. If we should all be so lucky.

Bobby I agree 1000%. I failed miserably with the band and have done well with the sleeve. Many factors but one of them is my headspace... I was over 300 and getting under 200 was success!!! Now I am at a normal weight, size 4...but if I regain to a size 10 does that make me a fail? NO FREAKING WAY!

At the time of my surgery I was living with my partner and two grown sons and my oldest sons girlfriend. They were supportive but of course still wanted to eat! One of the things we did is put "temptations" in a cabinet that I never opened. Out of sight out of mind helped because it was driving me crazy seeing and smelling crackers, chips and junk food all the time. Also, I gave over cooking duties. When we went out to eat, they were great about sharing meals or otherwise making it so I could be successful there. I would try to appeal to him for some support but I kinda agree with lipstick lady too. I mean, we had the surgery,not them. We are the ones with the issue and at some point you have to really develop a certain mental toughness about your own priorities. I had the advantage that I was so "over food" by then - it was like the bad boyfriend that needed to be kicked to the curb if you know what I mean. I was really really really motivated. I kinda liked her suggestion about cooking too... haha... mushies - yuck!

I think you got some great answers. I tried and tried and tried to lose and keep ANY weight off for years. I considered it wonderful if I could be under 250# - at 5'5" not exactly svelte. I was hungry 24/7 - I had a drive to eat that was at times overwhelming. I would try different programs and have temporary success and then regain. I reached a point where I wasn't even having temporary success anymore - yikes! So, for me the point of the sleeve was to give me a forced restriction of food, and a true hunger reduction to give me a chance to get off the eating/obesity hamster wheel. A chance to learn new behaviors. A chance to understand the physical drives and how to control them. Oh, and portion control. What I started to realize is how carb sensitive I am. That processed foods have something in them that just isn't good for me, makes me want to consume compulsively. I realized that something about being obese itself actually triggers hunger - like a chemical imbalance or something. My hunger did start to return about 8 months out and I worried... My NUT pointed out I was eating Protein bars like candy. Two things there 1. too many carbs and 2. Behavior. Knowledge is power and you can be sure my favorite Protein Bars no longer live in my house. Same with Peanut Butter and other trigger type foods. This didn't happen overnight, but I eat small portions, I keep trigger foods out of the house and I have good strategies for situations. I am 2.5 year out, I have lost about 160 pounds (currently weigh 140). My hunger is under very good control. I work at it, but not nearly as hard as I previously worked to stay under 300#. I treat my obesity like a disease in remission... my condition is still there, but I am currently managing it's primary symptom - excess weight, very well. I must remain focused or it could very easily creep back... although frankly right now, it is not a problem at all.

Okay, as a former 300 pounder, weighing at 200 or so, I think you are closer to the "norm" at the gym then you think. You will NOT be the biggest woman there (I often was). Be sure to choose an environment that feels safe and supportive to you. when I first started working out I started with Water aerobics at the YMCA, easy on the joints and very very supportive of the less fit. I progressed and moved into other things later. Good luck and do NOT let your fear of judgement slow you down. This is your health at stake and you have just as much right to be there as ANYONE else! Most will admire you (if they even care - people are much more self centered then we imagine..haha)

PARTIAL regain is the norm, statistically. 100% regain CAN happen but doesn't need to!

Don't let averages, statistics or naysayers limit your goals. On the other hand, be kind to yourself and celebrate your successes, even if you don't get to some charts ideal weight.... be focused on success without the self loathing that sometimes comes with that. I never ever thought a person like me who started at a BMI over 50, could have a BMI under 25 and turn into a hot chick at age 50! If you look at my profile and see my before picture, I think you can get a sense that I really could not visualize myself ever being physically attractive. The possibilities are endless and you truly are the master of your own weight destiny - just keep working that sleeve.