I prayed and prayed the WHOLE time I was in pre op, even the day of my procedure as they were wheeling me back on the gurney, I was saying "Lord if this is not your will, hender the surgeon, don't let anything bad happen, but hender him some how, if it's NOT your will" Next thing I knew I was in recovery, and now I have lost all this weight and off all my BP meds, healthy and happier. For once in my life, I am NOT ashamed to walk in my son's gym for a ballgame, I hated that when I was fat, hated walking into a crowded room. SO, I understand how you are feeling, and I hope this makes you feel better.