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hugsamber

LAP-BAND Patients

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Blog Entries posted by hugsamber

  1. Well well well. It has been awhile since I have blogged. I am just trying to live life. I have lost 124 pounds (including mypre-op weight that I lost). I have another 25 pounds to go. That would put me about 145ish. Right now I am 167. I wear a size 10 and most of the time a large top. My skin is starting to sag a bit in the belly and in the upper thighs. of course my boobs are shot. They just hang there. It is still a challenge everyday to follow the program. I am bad. I eat carbs, I eat dessert. But then I also am eating small amounts. I have tried to do without carbs. My body just doesn't like it. Got to keep my body happy, you know??? I am still losing hair. Though I only wash it every 2 or 3 days. If I washed it everyday I would be afraid that I would become bald! I want to go blonde but I would like my hair to stop falling out first! I still get tired and like to take naps. Though I think that it is just me, I have always liked to nap. Oh, and I bought a bikini!!!!! I am so scattered with my thoughts right now! But I was trying to work on my tan and so I bought a bikini...I don't look great in it, but then I don't look horrible either. I look almost normal! I have been losing super slow the last couple of months. But I am kind of happy with that. I lost so much so quickly that I think my body needs some time to adjust. I am hoping that by my 1 year surgiversary, that I will be at or below my goal weight. That would be super exciting! Well just wanted to give a quick update. All is well!

  2. 5 month update

    · hugsamber · 05/22/2011 22:58

    Well it has been a little over 5 months since I have had my VSG done. When I went into surgery I weighed 255 pounds. As of this morning I weigh 176.6. Woo-Hoo!!! I have been sick for about a week though and the weight has been coming off super fast because of my illness. For the first two months I lost about 20 pounds a month, then it slowed down to where I was losing about 10 pounds a month, which is fine by me. I have been doing much better with my eating...well not necessarily what I am eating but the amounts I am eating. I was eating too fast or too much and I was getting sick and vomitting a lot. Now I care recognize when I am getting to that too full point. My mind still tells me that I am fat and when I look in the mirror i still see all my flaws. I am trying to get over that though. I fit into size 12 pants and xl tops, sometimes larges. My hair is falling out. I am hoping that this will only last a few more months. I have long thick hair so I don't notice it too much, only when I am brushing it. I have been super bad about taking my vitamins. I have my 6 month check up in a few weeks, so I hope that my labs are okay. I know that I need to take my vitamins I just keep forgetting and I feel good so I think that I don't need them, which I know that I do. I argue with myself all of the time. One day the vitamin taking side will win! Overall I love my sleeve. I will begin working out soon. Once I get over this cold. I am hoping the begining of June. I am going to run in a half-marathon in October. One of my goals!

  3. the dreaded stall...

    · hugsamber · 01/11/2011 00:04

    Well I have been the same weight for 3 days now. 229. I think this qualifies as a stall. I'm hoping it doesn't last long. I know its normal but it still sucks! I want to be under 200 so bad, at least by my birthday at the beginning of april! Well on a good note I started this journey at 291, wearing a 3x top and 24 bottoms. I am now in a 1x top and 18 bottoms! I even tried a pair of jeans that my mom gave me which were a 16. I held them up and was like no way I can get these over my butt, the waist looks tiny, well lo and behold, this butt squeezed into them and was able to zip and button! They were snug but at least I could get them on! 10 or 15 more pounds and they will be nice and comfy! Yay!

  4. a little lovin

    · hugsamber · 12/23/2010 04:03

    Wow so this may be way tmi but what the heck. My boyfriend and I got busy last night. I'm 10 days post op. Well after I went to get off the bed and I felt like I was going to throw up and maybe pass out. I sipped some cold water and too a quick cold shower. Neither worked. My boyfriend thought he hurt me but he didn't at all. He said I was so pale and almost green. He had me lay back down and then after a few mins I was fine. It was kind of scary. I had never felt so close to passing out. I think that all the blood rushed from my head to other parts of my body and then I got up too fast. That and on top of not eating a lot right now. Now my boyfriend is paranoid to touch me!

  5. One week out!

    · hugsamber · 12/20/2010 19:32

    Well today is exactly one week from my surgery. I started out this process at 291. When I went in for surgery I was 255. When I stepped on the scale today I am at 243! So I have lost a total of 48 pounds since I began this journey back at the end of September. I have lost 12 pounds since surgery. So far everything has been really good. I am able to eat and drink and not get sick. Last night though I was getting stomach cramping after eating and also when I was drinking water. But this morning it hasn't happened. TMI...my BMs are weird. Liquid in and liquid out and all that jazz. I have heard to never trust a fart this early out and I do believe that is great advice! Back to a more pleasent topic....I finally have been able to sleep in my bed on my side. So the first few days I was sleeping in a comfy chair will like 8 pillows! I also was able to wash and dry my own hair this morning with little pain and discomfort. I have super long and thick hair so it is a pain! It has been raining cats and dogs here in Northern California so I haven't really been able to walk outside. Last night though there was a break in the weather so I went for a midnight walk and it was lovely. I also have gone to the mall to walk around which is okay just to get out of the apartment. I have one more week off from work so I want to relax and make the most of it! Each day gets better and better. I can't wait for next week when I should be able to start pureed foods. It will be amazing once I am back to eating regular foods and still lose weight!
  6. I would like to prefice this entry to say I am in huge amounts of pain and on drugs so I am having my boyfriebnd transcribe for me. Here is how it went down. I arrived at the hostpital on Dec 13, around ten AM. My surgery was not supposed to be scheduled until 1:20. Someone decided to chicken out so they got me in at 11:20. They called me into the pre-op area and had me change into my cute little gown and cute slippy socks. I sat down on a comfy recliner. I was nervous on the inside but was trying to maintain my calm. The nurse came by and asked me a hundred and one questions. Then proceeded to poke me to death in order to start my IV, I guess I was not the only one scared because my veins did not want to come out of hiding. Two different nurses stuck me four times without any luck. Finally the anithiologist came. It also took her a while, but she managed to find a small vein and start some fluids. Meanwhile, I got a heprin shot, for blood clots, in the arm. That SOB hurt like the dickens. It burned like an M.F.er and I have a gigantic bruise from that little shot. Finally, after sitting in Pre-Op for over a half hour my mom could come back. I talked to her for a few minutes before the took me to the operating room. We said our goodbyes. I got off the recliner and walked down the hall to operating room number five. It looked just like ER Grey's Anatomy without the cute actors. All I remember is having a gas mask with oxygen flowing. Then the surgeon came in. He asked me some questions. The anithiologist told me to take a breath deep. I was out. I awoke to nausea and gagging. I was in the recovery room for about four hours because no beds were available upstairs. I was extremely nauseous the whole time so they kept me pumped full of meds. I was unable to see any of my family while I was in recovery. Finally, around five thirty they had a bed open. As soon as they wheeled me upstairs I got into bed and was asking to walk. I wanted them to remove the catheder and put on my own jammies. Twenty minutes later I went for my first walk. The removed the catheder, which was not painful at all. I went into the bathroom and my mom helped me put on PJs. I felt much more comfortable in my own clothes. I had a few more bouts of nasea, but they gave me anti-nasea medicine which seemed to help. My thoat was extremly dry and hoarse. The result of a tubes being down there as well as a camera. I started walking every couple hours. Which seemed to help. All my family left with the exception of my stepdad for who thank goodness stayed and was a life saver. I was having to wake up every hour to go to the restroom. Since I was already out of bed I decided to go for walks. My pain seemed to be in good control with the exception of the first hour in my room. Something was wrong with my pain pump because the drugs weren't flowing properly. Once they fixed it I was good to go. I slept on and off throughout the night and around seven thirty AM when my surgeon came in. He asked how I was doing. If I was naseous if I was keeping the water down and if I was having any problems. At that point I was feeling pretty good. The surgeon said I could have breakfast which consisted of Jello, tea, and broth. He said that if I could keep those down I would be discharged. I had a little bit of jello, a taste of the broth, and couple ounces of the tea. All with no problem. I was ready to be discharged. The discharge process went fairly quick. I was surprised because I thought it would take a lot longer. I was discharged at ten thirty. The car ride home was bumpy and occasionally painful. Once I got home I tried to find a comfortable position to lye down. This has proven challenging. The couch I sink into and the bed is difficult to get into. I did manage to nap in both locations for about thirty minutes each. I ate some Jello and drank some water. Thus far I do not have an appitite. I took a shower to get all the sticky tape off and to get rid of the hospital smell. I then tried to lie in bed but it was extremely painful. I tried to lie propped up and on my sides. Movement of rolling over and getting up is so painful it can bring tears to your eyes. I am now lieing in bed on my side and after a bunch of painkillers I am still a four out of a ten. I guess I figured since I was feeling okay in the hospital I would feel okay at home. I am surprised about how much pain I'm actually in. I know that some of the pain is probably from the gas but most of it is from the procedure. I know that each day is supposed to get better but when you're in pain it feels like it is going to last forever. I am hoping that today is worst, but one can only wait and see what tomorrow brings. I know that everyone says the same thing. At first we say "Why did I do this to myself?" and later" I am so glad I did this. " I am sure I will feel the same way. Please remember this is a drug induced blog. I am starting to fall asleep while I talk. I will post more later.

  7. Four days out

    · hugsamber · 12/17/2010 04:42

    Okay so my previous post was kind of melodramatic...i was in pain, what can I say? I am feeling much better. Still have some good pain on the right side, which is where my largest incision is. I have been walking a bunch and getting in at least 24 ounces of water the first few days. I am not dehydrated and pee like every hour. I have not yet had a BM. Though I am very bloated and gassy. I can feel the gas moving through me, it isn't uncomfortable but it sure does feel good when a bit comes out. I have to remind myself that I just had major surgery and to not do to much. I am off until Dec 27th. I think that should be enough time. I have not been hungry at all, which is a very nice thing. I also have not experienced head hunger yet but I am sure that will come once I am able to eat a little more. Starting tomorrow I can have pudding, yogurt and cream soups. I am kind of excited and nervous at the same time. I don't want to get sick eating anything so I have been really careful, even when I was having jello!
  8. Well Monday December 13th is tomorrow. It is my surgery day. I have to be at the hospital at 11:20 for a surgery time of 1:20. It is almost a 2 hour ride (with traffic) to the hospital from where I live so I will be leaving early to make sure that I am not late! I have packed my bag, I always over pack so it was hard to close! Here is my list:
     
    Slippers
    Robe
    PJs
    Panties
    Blanket and small pillow for car ride home
    gas x strips
    toothbrush and toothpaste
    hairbrush
    cell phone charger and cell phone
    ID and Kaiser card
    binder (for kaiser patients)
    breathing thingy (its called a spirometer or something like that. Kaiser gave them to us.)
    chapstick
    tampons and pads (really really sucks that I started my period this morning)
     
    My mom is making me a "care package" which includes magazines, Dr. Alvarez's Vertical Sleeve book and a movie)
     
    I am hungry and my tummy is growling a bit. I can drink water until midnight....so I have another 3 hours. I am trying to fill up on that! I feel like I am not tired at all and will be up all night. Plus I have cramps and it really sucks. I don't feel nervous right now, I feel weird though. Really quiet. I am sure that I will be really nervous in the morning. I just wish that I could fast forward 3 months. Well next time I post I will be sleeved....
     
     
  9. Well I have to admit that I have not always followed my preop diet to perfection. Through Kaiser they want you eating a certain way and well I would on a few occasions have a cheat day or rather a cheat meal. Just this past Friday, 9 days before my surgery, I drank two margaritas and had a veggie burrito. I felt really guilty about the alcohol. I guess it was sort of my last meal. I just now worry that my liver is going to be all gigiantic and slippery during surgery. I think that I am just getting really nervous about the surgery in general. I will be sticking to low carbs and high protein until my surgery which will mean that I will be doing that consistently for 8 days. I have lost a little over 30 pounds during this preop period. I just hope that I will be okay and that my liver will not cause any difficulties during surgery.
     
    I can't stop thinking about this surgery. It is so crazy that I am doing this to myself. I know that it is just nerves and that almost everyone goes through these feelings before surgery. I just wish that I wasn't so freaked out. I am sure that I will have a mini panic attack when I get into the operating room. Then being in the hospital overnight by myself. I guess I just need to stop thinking about these things and try to think about 2 months from now when I have lost weight and can eat and drink easier and not be in any pain. During my preop class last week the case manager gave us relaxations CDs...maybe I need to go and listen to it!

  10. Got my date!!!

    · hugsamber · 11/22/2010 01:35

    Well, it has been a little over a month since I last posted. A lot has happened. I have officially lost 28 pounds, according to my doctor's scale. I only needed to lose 21 pre-op. I met with the pyschologist on Nov 12th. She was super nice and made me feel comfortable and didn't ask any weird or odd questions. I was very lucky and got a Case Manager appt for that following Tuesday, nov 16th! By the way, my mom had all of her appointments the same day. So we went into the appt with the Case Manager and she let us do our appointments together, it didn't bother me. She had the same concerns as my surgeon with me having the sleeve. Basically saying that since I am so young, 28, there are no long term studies and all of that. I explained again, that I did not want my intestines rerouted and that as far as I was concerned I would rather risk not knowing what could possibly happen in the future. The furture is unknown anyways. So then the Case Manager looked at her surgery calendar and asked when I wanted to have surgery. I said as soon as possible. So she set me up with December 13th. My mom was disapointed that her surgery date is not until Jan 3rd. Though that is because she is having gastric bypass and they didn't have any surgery days available for that procedure until then. So we then scheduled our pre-op appointments which are on Dec 2nd. All of this seemed to happen very quickly. I had to stop my birth control right away and have to take a pregnancy test a week before surgery. I went in for some more blood work and now I am all set until Dec 2nd. I am worried about the silly stuff. Like the catheder. Um, that doesn't sound pleasant and I hope I am sleeping when they do it. Then staying in the hospital over night by myself. I am scared of that. Not that I will be awake or able to entertain but I have never stayed in the hospital, never had surgery. I am a wimp! Then all my family is worried about me being home alone while my boyfriend works that first week. Will I really need that much help? He will get me my beverages and meds before leaving for work at 6:30am then he will be home around 2:30. Won't I be sleeping, sipping and walking? Oh and we live in an apartment and have stairs. So I figure I can just walk in circles inside, right? Walking is walking. My grandparents are so sweet. They are going to pick me up from the hospital, my mom has to save her time off from work for her own surgery. My grandparents have an extra bedroom but no bed because they gave it to my brother. So my grandpa says, "If you want to stay here just tell me and I will go out and buy a bed." That cracks me up. They would buy a new bed just so I could stay there for a few days! I love my family. My boyfriend is worried that my family will be mad at him for not taking time off. I'm not worried about it. He is a teacher and that is a week before winter break. But he did say that he would drive out to see me after surgery after he gets off work. It is almost a 2 hr drive so that is super sweet! I now need to start making my list of what I need to buy for the hospital. Robe, slippers, chapstick, gas x strips, a blanket, a small pillow. I am sure I will overpack. Though I am nervous and trying not to think about the surgery every min of the day. I am trying to break up these next 3 week into small things. Like Thanksgiving, then Black Friday shopping, then Pre-Op appointment, then family x-mas party, then Surgery. The next few weeks are going to go by so fast. I just need to take it one day at a time. Make sure that I am sticking to my pre-op diet. GREAT... the BF is making cookies! Good thing I love him a lot!

  11. My poor boyfriend

    · hugsamber · 10/18/2010 01:53

    I just bit his head off for having pie and ice cream in the house....and then ordering pizza for his dinner!!! I told him it was okay but dang can you blame a girl for changing her mind? It all looked so good. I am still pre-op by the way so trying to lose those last 4 pounds! I told him that he HAS to help me. I don't mind him eating junk but single servings only so there is not enough left over. Sometimes my willpower SUCKS! I did really well for my frist two weeks on my pre-op diet. Did slimfast for the second week to jumpstart my weight loss before meeting with the surgeon. Now I am back to eating well. I think that it may take a few days to get back on the correct road. I just feel bad for my boyfriend. He is not having the surgery so he doesn't need to be cutting off his junk food. I hate asking him to, but he has been a sweetheart to help for the most part.

  12. Just Keep Swimming

    · hugsamber · 10/11/2010 22:55

    Grr. I totally messed up this weekend. I am still pre-op and trying to lose weight before my surgery. I meet with my surgeon for the first time on Friday. So last Sat was my 10 yr high school reunion. I was good all day saturday until we left for the reunion. I did not eat much that day because I knew I was going to have a couple drinks. Well I had more than a couple drinks and Sunday I was sick as a dog!!! why did I do that to myself? Then Sunday I did not follow my plan. I was so hungover there was no way for me to eat like I was suposed to. So when I weighed myself Monday afternoon I was up 4 pounds!!!!! WHAAAAAAT??? I am so mad at myself. I am hoping that my body will get back into business and maybe in a few days those pounds will come off. I am doing slimfast today and tomorrow with hopes that will help a little. It is hard to not get frustrated with yourself. So i am trying to just keep swimming. I wanted to be down almost 20 pounds when I meet with my surgeon. Right now I will be lucky if I am down 10! So bummed. Okay I am over it. I made a mistake and have to move on. Just stay focused on my goals and I can do it. Sorry I needed to give myself a pep talk!
  13. I wish that October 15th would come quicker, but at the same time it is good that it is still almost two weeks away so that I can lose more weight before my appt with Dr. Baggs. I weighed in this morning at 279. Hey when Kaiser weighed my a week from today I was 291. And when I weighed myself at home in the afternoon a week from today I was 293. I think that I am doing good!!! Makes me wonder if I can lose the weight with just sticking to this diet? Then I think, I have done this before, lost weight and then gained it all back plus some. I need more help than just myself. I need the sleeve to assist me in making the right decisions and eating less. Though I have to say that I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay nervous about having the surgery. I have only been under anesthesia once and that was when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I am nervous about complications and how much pain I will be in afterwards. Also, is there going to be a drain sticking out of one of my incisions and will my BF be grossed out having to take care of me? He wants me to be home and says that if I can get the surgery during one of his weeks off (he is a teacher) then he will be my personal nurse 24/7. I just don't know that I want him to see me all yucky! I have never broken any bones or any other big injuries so I am not sure how I am going to do with the pain. Why am I worrying about all of this now? When I still have at least a couple of months before I get the surgery? I am a worrywart. I looked at some people posted pics of them after surgery in the hospital with their tubes and incisions and yuck, then I read about how some people were in so much pain. I am only planning on taking a week off work. Then if I have to then I will work half days the following week. So I better not be one of those people who is in pain and misery for 2 weeks straight!!! I mean I know that I am still going to be in pain, but I want to be able to function. I know that I will be getting part of my stomach removed, wow, that is very weird to say or write. I will be getting part of my stomach removed. Easier the second time. So obviously there is going to be pain for awhile. I just don't want any complications or problems....does anyone? Sometimes the more I research something the more freaked out I get. I know its supposed to help me understand what I soon will be going through and to be honest it is better to know than to go in blinded. But still, too much can be a bad thing as well, at least for me. But yet I continue to view this website daily and see what is going on with everyone. It is almost a compulsion that I can't stop! I wish that I was already a year out from my sleeve surgery and I was back to normal and did not have any problems during that time. Don't you wish you could just "poof" and make it happen sometimes? I sometimes picture myself skinny or thinner I should say. I have wanted to be back to a "normal" size before I turn 30. I am 28 right now with a birthday in April. I know that I just need to be mentally tough in regards to the surgery. Right now the eating is fine. I am losing at a steady pace of at least a pound a day. There has been cookies, pizza and junk food around me all weekend long and I did not have the desire to have any of it. So my mind for food in mentally tough I just have to not worry so much about the surgery itself but the results and outcomes of that surgery. A month or two of suffering is worth it!

  14. Weekend

    · hugsamber · 10/03/2010 18:43

    Saturday was not too bad. I was pretty busy. But today...Football Sunday is difficult. I am hungry and I just are lunch!!! I think that it is because we usually have snacks during the games. Plus my BF was eating pizza which is one of my favorite things in the world!!! But I survived. This morning I had Cream of Wheat. It was actually pretty good. I am glad that I found another soft squishy food that I like. Especially for after sugery. I have lost about 12 pounds. Though really that was after I ate on Monday. If I do it by what I weighed first thing Tuesday morning then I have lost 8 pounds. Still good either way you look at it. I have a little less than 2 weeks until my appt with my surgeon. I hope that he is happy with the amount of weight I have lost!

  15. Day 2 Pre-Op Diet

    · hugsamber · 09/29/2010 22:45

    8:30am- So I feel fairly good. I had some energy this morning and my breakfast filled me up. Same as yesterday (1/2 cup of egg beaters, 1 oz of fat free cheddar cheese and a yogurt). I am trying to work on sipping my water to get used to how it will be after surgery. Boy it is hard though. I am not sure what a sip really is. I am not gupling water like I used to so I guess that is at least a start. Because I don't have access to the website at work I figure I will update on Notepad and then e-mail it to myself before work ends and then copy and paste into the blog and add new stuff when I get home. This way I won't forget things that I wanted to write about during worktime. I weighed myself this morning and I am down 1 pound since yesterday morning, yay me!
     
    9:45am- The bad thing about drinking a bunch of water is that I feel like I have to go to the bathroom every 5 mins!!! I am starting to feel a bit hungry, not as bad as yesterday around this time though, so I think that is good.
     
    10:15am- First food work challenge. Someone brought in homemade brownies and banana bread cake with frosting. I am behaving and staying away from it, but being a little hungry and not eating lunch until 11:30 makes it difficult. I just have to keep telling myself that I can do it. If I can lose 10 pounds by my surgeon appointment in 2 weeks then I will be a happy camper.
     
    11:45am- Yum. Just had lunch. 3oz of deli turkey, half a baked potato and an apple. My belly is happy right now. I just hope that it lasts until dinner! I am doing well eating the protein first. I thought that it would be hard because I am not much of a meat or egg eater. I only each chicken and turkey and I could go a few days with out having either of them. Eggs are another story. I get grossed out thinking about eggs. I have for awhile, but I was watching Man vs Wild on the Discovery Channel and Bear(the guys name) was out in the wilderness and found a nest with a couple of eggs. So he boiled water and put the eggs in it for a few minutes. He was all excited about having boiled eggs. Then he took a bite out of one of the eggs and it had a partially developed fetus in it. YUCK!!! Even he was grossed out and if you have ever watched that show Bear eats some nasty stuff. So eggs and I are not too friendly. The egg beaters is working for me right now though I am not sure if I can do that for breakfast daily.
     
    1:15pm- Just went for a little walk. About a 15 minute walk, it wasn't fast or anything but at least I got out of the office for a little bit. I am feeling pretty good. It is a bit hot out though, isn't summer over? I do not feel hungry or even have a hunger headache. Is the protein working that well? I have been eating protein first with all of my meals, and I fill up faster!
     
    2:45pm- Last update from work. Feel pretty good. A little hungry but not bad. A co-worker is going to make me do stairs with her on Tuesday of next week. We have 18 flights in our building. I think that she is trying to kill me! At least that will be some good exercise, even if it takes me 30 mins to do it!
     
    Home sweet home. Dinner is cooking. I forgot to take the chicken out so we are not going to eat for another hour or so. I will probably be really hungry by then! I notice that I am slightly grumpy and irritable. My boyfriend is going to the store to get himself some dessert for after dinner. He asked if it was okay. Of course I said yes. But damn it sucks! He is not the one on the diet, I am. Almost 2 days down. It will get easier I am sure. Right???

  16. 10/1

    · hugsamber · 10/01/2010 22:04

    I was bad. I went to starbucks and ordered a tall nonfat green tea frappachino. When I got back to the office I checked the calorie content. There was 200 calories in that little drink. I had a few sips and threw away over half of it. Well at least I have some willpower. I guess I don't want to forever be restricted to things but be able to limit them to small or very small portions. Does this mean that this surgery is still a good idea for me? Do people still have a life of food after surgery? Just a better and healthier one? Or are you so limited to what you have you cant go over to friends houses for dinner or to a restaurant? I know that most people on here can still eat out but I wonder what that really does to your stomach? I weighed in this morning and was at 282. Almost 10 pounds from my weigh in on Monday. Maybe I am feeling nervous because I am losing so quickly that when I meet with my surgeon I am worried he will be like okay you have lost enough, lets get you scheduled. What if I am not ready? Am I ready? I feel like I am, but at times I worry that I am going to alter my life so much that nothing will be the same. Its terrible to say that food plays such a big deal in life but most social activity is done around food or drinks. I still want to be able to enjoy life. I think that I need to make my list of things that will change once I lose weight. Maybe this will help me focus on what is really important and what I hope to accomplish.
     
    Is it just me or does anyone else tell everyone about the surgery? I guess I don't keep secrets well and not everyone knows but there are 3 co-workers, my boss, my mom, boyfriend and grandparents...and then of course all of you. I am not embarrassed about it and if someone thinks it is a bad idea they sure don't say it to me. They ask questions and I answer. That is about it. I have not heard anything negative, at least so far.
     
    Almost done with the work day. Well 2 1/2 hours to go, that is sort of almost done. We are going to my mom's for dinner, it helps that she is following the same plan so she will weigh out the food for me. Makes dinner nice and easy for me. I am curious to see how I manage during the weekend. Weekends are usually the hardest for me because I don't have any sort of structure during sat or sun. Ah well I am looking forward to the weekend so I will tough it out not matter. I am on the countdown 2 hours and 20 mins left. Hello weekend!

  17. The Begining

    · hugsamber · 09/26/2010 22:30

    I decided to write this blog as a way to get out my thoughts and emotions during this life altering process. To begin I am 28 years old and I have not weighed myself in awhile. Last time I was weighed at the doctor I was around 280. Wow! Embarassed to even write that down and I am sure that it is more now. I will be going though Kasier Richmond. I have my Orientation on Monday Sept 27, 2010 (I will get weighed there so will update). I have done a lot of research so I feel very confident in my decision. Though of course there are concerns. One of my concerns is my boyfriend. We have been together 5 years and when we met I weighed about 170. We both gained weight over the years, it seems like most new couples do. When I brought up the idea of surgery to him he did not seem supportive. Now he says that he is supportive of whatever I decide to do, but he still doesn't like the idea of sugery. He is worried about complications and me dying, (which oddly is sweet and makes me love him even more). I am not sure what I can do to make him more comfortable with the sugery. I know that there can be complications and death as a result, but then being soooo overweight can cause complications and early death. We talked about the process and what will happen before, during and after. I need him to be my rock during this. Is that so bad?
     
    My next concern is...will I have crazy flabby skin after I lose weight? I will have to work out like crazy but I think that losing at least a little weight will make working out so much easier on my body. It is crazy how far I have let myself go.
     
    I am also concerned about losing hair. I have long hair and I don't want to feel like I have bald spots. I know that being at a healthy weight is a good thing and my worries are mostly superficial, though I can't help my thought process.
     
    I want to start losing weight right after my Orientation. I want this process to go quickly. Though I get really cranky when I am hungry. I think my blood suger level gets messed up. So I know that losing the pre-surgery weight is not going to be easy. And I am thinking that I will probably need to lose 25-30 pounds. YIKES!!! I can do it though.
     
    I am worried about the liquids and only being able to have liquids and then mushy foods. I am a texture girl so things are gonna need to change for me. I only eat chicken and turkey for my meats and I have read places that chicken is a no no for awhile. Also, I am a carboholic. Lifestyle changes are coming my way.
     
    My mom is going to be going through this process with me. She also wants the get the surgery done. It makes it nice that we can talk about things and we even get to go to Orientation together.
     
    Well I think that I am all written out for now. Hopefully I will have lots of new stuff to write about after my Orientation tomorrow. Very excited!!!

  18. update

    · hugsamber · 09/29/2010 00:26

    So Orientation was very informative. I weighed in at a whopping 291. Yikes!!! I have an appointment with the surgeon on Oct 15th. So I am starting the pre-op diet to start to lose the weight that the surgeon will reccomend. We went to the store and I got a scale, a food scale, and some food to start. Today was the first day eating smaller portions and goodness I was hungry. Through Kaiser they want you to eat 3 meals a day and NO snacking. So for breakfast I had, at 6am, 1/2 cup of egg beaters, 1 oz fat free cheese, and a yogurt. I was pretty hungry by 9am. So I drank a bunch of water, it didn't seem to help though. For lunch I had 3 oz of deli sliced turkey, 1 green apple, and a yogurt. That was at 11:45. Dinner time felt like it was forever away. I had to wait until my boyfriend got home from coaching flag football, the team won. He got home around 5:30. I know that seems early to eat dinner for some but since I go to work at 6:30 in the morning its not to me. I feel okay right now. I am tired and a little weak feeling. I would think that after a few days of eating this way my body will get used to it. It is challenging but I think that it is good to start early and get used to eating smaller amounts.

  20. 3.5 week update

    · hugsamber · 01/06/2011 18:22

    Well where to start? Overall I have been doing good. Super tired and not getting in enough water which is giving me leg cramps and lightheadedness. I know its an adjustment for my body but being tired all the time sucks! I had a mini breakdown yesterday. I went to my pcp for an afternoon appt. I am suposed to check in with her after surgery and I had some questions on dehydration and incision pain. She basically said to me you did this to yourself. I was like I know I did this to myself thank you. Then she proceeded to tell me that my body is not dehydrated, even though I am drinking about 20 oz a day. Then told me for any other questions to ask my surgeon. So I left. I guess I knew she wouldn't have too much advice as this is not her specialty, but as my surgeon is in a different city I can not just easily go see him. I prefer face to face appt rather then email. Then my boyfriend was mad that I got off an hour early for basically no reason. I was sitting in the parking lot of kaiser bawling my eyes out. I knew I was just frustrated, in pain, thirsty and tired but still. I felt better after my cry. Each day is a new day. I have lost 25 pounds since surgery for a total of 61! I am trying not to nap as much when I get off work so that I can have more time to drink water. Its all a work in progress.

  21. 9/30/2010

    · hugsamber · 10/01/2010 11:47

    Today is a great day. It is Thursday, which means that there is only one more day in the work week, plus I am feeling good. Since I started my pre-op diet I have lost 4 pounds. Today is day 3. I figure that is pretty good. I weighed myself Monday afternoon after I got my new scale, of course I had just eaten what I call my last meal, Chevy's Chicken Fajitas, YUM!!! Well at that point I weight 293. I am not sure how close my scale is to the doctors but it seems fairly accurate. So if I take that 293 weight from Monday, then I have lost 10 poundsm because this morning I weighed 283. Though I know water weight and time of weighing makes a difference. But hey, I will take what I can get. Eating eggs in the morning is getting more difficult and it is only day 3. I am thinking of switching it up and eating some other type of protein but I am kind of picky. Good news though, I was not tempted to cheat last night when my BF was eating cookies and ice cream (single serving). It didn't bother me at all. I am still struggling getting the energy to exercise. I may just have to do a 15 min walk during lunch today so that I at least get a little activity. Maybe I will do some stairs to get my heart rate up first. I really want to go to my surgeon appointment with a nice weight loss to show that I am ready for this surgery.
     
    9:15-Decided to try the stairs with a co-worker at 10:30. He is in the same boat as I am as far as health and weight loss. I will for sure post how I am feeling afterwards though it may take me some time to get my breath back!!!
     
    10:45- Whew. We did 12 flights of stairs, down and up, in our office buidling. It doesn't sound like much but I sure did work up a sweat and raised my heartbeat. I am still sweating but it only took me a couple of mins to get my breath back. Now I at least feel like if I don't work out tonight that I got a workout in. Another positive thing about working out is that I no longer feel hungry. Though I am sure that will change in 30 mins or so!
     
    1pm- I would love a naptime right about now. At least I only have 2 hours of work left for the day. My body still feels pretty good from the stairs. I am wondering though if the turkey is making me sleepy. I have heard that turkey has something in it that makes people feel tired after eating it, you know like on Thanksgiving day after dinner you are tired. Though that could be from overeating. I guess I will have to look into that.
     
    1:30pm- Just went down 12 flights of stairs and then walked for 10 mins outside. It is warm out there! Felt good though. Woke me up.

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