lizrbit

:::takes off funny glasses and nose and sets them on the table, puts on serious hat:::: I have to admit something. its not just the naked thats helped. the winter before last was my last straw on a lot of fronts. I actually slept many nights at work (i own my own shop) and my deadlines were all i felt i had. my sons had grown apart into their own lives as they are supposed to, and my husband...well...lets just say that he didnt notice i was gone so much. I cried myself to sleep most nights, here on the couch where i work. we had a lot of stuff go down the year prior that we just coudnt quite get through together. his job was/is stressful, mine is what it is but it allows me alot of freedome i never took. so...i decided id take it. LAST WINTER. From January 8 to late March, i took a job across the country so that i could afford to go and just stay, and i did. I told them my plans, i updated them regularly with new news, I bought my ticket, and packed my bag. No threats, no ultimatums, nada. I just left, and stayed gone till March. IN THE TIME I WAS GONE, I hardly watched any tv at all. I walked along the beach a LOT. I rediscovered bicycling, and social friends. I went out to eat, or cooked in. I thrived in the seventy degree days while husband struggled through the hard winter here. I was joyful. The 'break', did me wonders. (and i happened to have coordinated the whole initial banding thing then too) I came back a different person. I dont know how old your kids are, but if you could get away by yourself, to find yourself for just a little while..it might help and take some pressure off. We expect SO MUCH of ourselves. I wish so often that i could just allow myself to fail. just let it all go. Have you ever heard of an author named SARK? she has a website Planet SARK and i got turned onto her when i was in my twenties (im thirty nine now) and i used to really dig her. Shes my 'what if'. i STILL think the naked helped.

could his stuff be stress at work? how long has it been since you guys got away together, just you both? like...to a movie?

Diane, it does...i dont know what the connection is yet, but for me, it really has. so...im looking forward to reading about your experiences even if they are less than perfect. you gotta come back to the board and tell...

lol FAITH!!!! then might i suggest gardening naked??? it wont do a dang thing but maybe get the neighbors more interested in bbq's but the feel of the summer air on the nude derrier could be exhillirating? if you were both nude together then every time you passed him would be an intimate moment If my boys didnt still live at home, id totally turn it into our own little nudist minicolony. bad, theres no judges here. i think thats something that if we havent done it, weve at least thought about it. im all for fighting against going into that good night! rage, rage against the dying of the light! and all that....sometimes you just gotta settle, and sometimes you just gotta go. sometimes its the 'light' itself that keeps us next to it, but its at least a concious choice, eh? Good bad or ugly...

hi... im a do-0ver. i got my new band May 24th. Im sitting on a small fill that he put in right away during the surgery (i think its 1cc or .5cc even) and im in bandster hell. Had PERFECT restriction up until a week ago. I can eat pretty much anything. Im trying to at least watch my meals, keep water going. gave up my shakes so i could eat solid calories instead hoping it would help. I just thought that since i was a do-over i could join both threads? cause im starting over... and its really tough right now...

by the way...i gotta report back because i said i would... day before yesterday i finally had to say "enough already! whats gotten into you" and he went all about how great my skin feels. cause im soft as butter, you know. I finally had to say, "well then just rub my tummy and leave my pink parts alone. I need a rest"...then i laughed until i couldnt breathe. I dont think ive ever had to say that before. Not in 19 years that i can recall. Im telling you, the sleeping naked thing has done wonders.

okay..you guys know i like little quick to the point solutions that at the very least, IF they dont FIX specific issues, they will at least make him click his head to the side and go "huh?"...and in reading arelladys post it came to me. So lets review... the first quick "just try it and see what happens and report back" is 1) sleep naked for one week straight. Dont say anything, dont expect anything, just sleep naked. One week. 2) SELL THE TV do it while hes at work. use the money for a manicure/pedicure, and a new bottle of samsara purfume.

THIS is the advise i wish i had twenty years ago. This sounds like the way to go!

HALF!!!!!! HALF!!!!! HALF!!!!! Im in complete agreement with the above statements. LEAVE. NOW. BE VERY ACTIVE, file for DIVORCE and take HALF OF HIS SH&T. You worked for it, youve earned it, and starting over can be exhilarating as well as challenging. DONT BE AFRAID. theres a LOT of single 42 year old men and women out there. I almost envy your opportunity to start this new chapter of your life. PLEASE dont forget to really really rub it in later when you are doing SO well, with a VERY active social life, and he'll just be cheating on his next mistake.

wow Derick, thats one helluva recommendation. Certainly has my interest up. Ill write that down to check out later. Can you tell me more about it? I JUST got 'the Art of Happiness' by his holiness Dahali Lama and Howard C Cutler MD.

wow Derick, thats one helluva recommendation. Certainly has my interest up. Ill write that down to check out later. Can you tell me more about it? I JUST got 'the Art of Happiness' by his holiness Dahali Lama and Howard C Cutler MD.

Weight Loss Surgery Options Gastric Sleeve Resection 1. Stomach tube may stretch up over time leading to late weight regain. The extent of this is currently unknown 2. The amount of weight reduction is in the region of 40-60% of excess wt lost over the first 1-2 years. 3. There is no malabsorbtion to nutrients 4. If weight is regained the second stage of Duodenal Switch or Gastric Bypass can be added laparoscopically.

nume, congratulations!!! I wish i could demonstrate how i feel for what you go through daily. I understand waiting. You are certainly NOT a freak and there are so many times I felt hopeless as Im sure others go through it too, as evidenced by the other posts on this thread. Are you self pay? will your insurance definitely not cover it?

Right. it wont actually harm the band or anything, but when you drink when you eat, it works like turning the faucent on a garbage disposal and flushes all your food out. I really fought this part too at first. I drink a bottle of water or my hot tea BEFORE eating makes it easier.

kland, its not really 'better' than the inamed bands produced before, but its been redesigned to address some of the issues the older models have. AP stands for Advanced Platform, and the "balloon" surrounding it goes 360 degrees around the flexible band rather than just the inside. The balloon is also pleated like the VG band to hopefully aid in better restriction. The most noticable difference is that the 'balloon" part goes all the way around the band instead of skipping over the buckle. take a peak, its pretty cool.

i got one!

so the hard question...would you be willing to be 'the bad guy' in order to have a better life?

doh! now theres something we havent gone into yet... if it was the other way around? like..if i found a small size 5 rubber happy hoohah that looked as if it never had three babies and stretched over my head and back, hidden under the bed on his side...how would it make me feel? but you know what? sex is so different than love. Prior to being married this time, i dated and was sexually active. I remember the fellas with three legs. I dont remember their names per say...but i remember everything else. if he finds it, you can explain to him that you CHOSE him out of the seas of three legged men to be with for the long haul.. and this is for fun. I dont know if it would make a difference, but thats an interesting topic and question: "is your partner intimidated by your sexuality?" and if yes, then how do you get him into a training and introductory program? does anyone have any experience with "the pump"? does it work?..and is it safe?

PS: still sleepin naked. still getting back rubs and stuff daily! from zero to daily. I STILL dont know whats in his dinner that makes this happen. and your so not alone on the not climaxing during sex. My husband used to look at me strange when i told him i just cant...but yet i can mechanicly, and even THEN it took forever for me to do it in front of him. i still dont have it during regular intercourse, but now he can do it manually. which is brand spanking new. woo. Yay for me.

diane! lmao..thank god im not the only one. for a while there i was checkin the thread with baited breath, each time thinking, "okay. im a freak, and these ladies have the grace not to kick a dead horse". lmao..so im relieved to find im not alone. reading your stories, is so affirming, each one. how we all come here to the same place through different routes. Im so glad we did this.

lmao..i love that...expensive stomach jewelry!!!! i want some diamonds encrusted on mine dangit. emeralds? can we get some bling? Can you imagine, with as popular as body piercings are, that eventually they will just install the port on the outside and THAT will have the jewel encrusted rings and hoopla?

lol mystic and kari! its amazing what we can admit on here. I have two toys. Im SO protective of anyone finding out yet here i could probably describe them! lol. one isnt even a toy..toy. its just a thumping muscle massager that plugs into the wall. ....had to read that just once without laughing. OMG it plugs into the wall. hahahahha god... ::: anyway... sister green...i got to tell you..that whole going to bed naked thing WORKS. I actually thought about all of you and this thread this morning when i woke up and said to myself that i have to tell you this. SINCE ive been going to bed naked, ive woke up to having husband stroking my back, or kissing me on the neck, or sometimes just his hand on my leg as we sleep! When i felt his hand on my back this morning i thought about you guys and wondered if anyone else has tried it? and...while we are talking secrets..does ..um..anyone elses toy plug into the wall? or... am i a freak?

cool! we are on then! i didnt walk thirty minutes today . Im working late and my job is standing and staring non stop. i move my arms a little. i plan to walk tomorrow though. Can you walk tomorrow for thirty minutes too? im going in the morning, i have more energy then, and i can shower after and feel fantastic. im taking my ipod. RE: energy.. are you getting enough Protein? i do a shake in the morning thats high in protien and relatively low in calories, gets me going. heres the basic recipie, can of course be altered: (put in blender and blend) a handful of pecans or walnuts a container of probiotic yogurt (any yogurt works) (cut in half if mixture is too much) a scoop of soy Protein powder (can get this at grocery or walmart) a half of a cup of 2percent milk (can cut this in half or substite Water if mixture is too much) a dose of metimucl or any Fiber laxitive Iron supplement (tablet) vit c tablet Multivitamin acidolpholis tablets (two) vit b dot two tablespoons flax oil (great for your hair, teeth and nails) any other supplements youd rather not swallow whole, i use collegen. and last, about a fistfull of frozen fruit (important no sugar added) i sometimes use blueberries (cause i live in maine) but strawberries are easy to find and keep in freezer. Blend until its all mixed up well. It should be no more than a pint of stuff, and drink it slow, i dont even do coffee or tea anymore in the mornings because it takes me all my "oh my god im awake" time to get it down. It lasts me until around one pm, then its time for lunch anyway. I like it because if you dont get in good meals for the rest of your day, your bases are already covered when your body needs it most, in the mornings to break your fast. it also helps keep me from grazing around. it is usually really thick and feels like im being very naughty when everything in it is just what your body needs at this point. let me know if you wind up trying it, and what you think.

Hi deb, im right there too. I did this before so i know they will tell you that its normal. it happens to all of us, and its even expected. Im two weeks out from being rebanded myself and experiencing similar stuff. I have a small fill in there and its the new ap band so i definitely feel restriction, but i find im hungry every two hours or so. What worked for me the first time, and i know will help this time if i just get off my arse and do it, is the thirty minutes a day thing. Get up and walk briskly for thirty minutes. Go to the mall if you dont have anywhere around your neighborhood. If nothing is available, do a daily visit to a gym and just use their treadmill for thirty minutes a day. It really does help and at two weeks out we can do it now. it will help keep you from gaining, along with keeping track of your calories over on FitDay - Free Weight Loss and Diet Journal (its free and a cool program). If youd like, you can email me daily and ask me if i walked thirty minutes today, and ill nudge you too. in the last week ive put three lbs back on and i know its cause im eating more.

in the same light..i dont wanna hijack the thread either so ill keep it brief, but this friend of mine is an artist, lived up in nyc and went to a small Dylan concert back when they were small concerts, then just 'moved the party to the flat'. Halfway through the night she reailized she didnt know half the people there, and people were falling down crashing all over the place for the night. The next morning she woke everyone and told them they had to go home. Thats when she realized who was sleeping in her tub. He left as soon as he woke up. Back to reading.... and time for reading. I read at night while sitting in bed. Its nice and cozy and i always get to the point where my eyes are doing that thing where they close but your brain still thinks you are reading? anyone else do that?