Demander,
Of course you're entitled - we all are - we just can't let our down feelings keep us from moving forward. And don't forget to give yourself some credit -
you are doing something really good for yourself and your family. I, too, wanted the procedure right away -- started last May to get covered,
and will clear the last hurdle (yes - getting a cpap (ugh)), and schedule my surgery before the end of Oct. BUT - lots of bumps in the road -
failed stress test then angiogram (which was clear), two sleep studies (double ugh!), so things are looking up. When you're most down, remember
that you are your worst critic, and a couple months after you get this done, your downest moments may be in the distant past.
Hang in there and give yourself a break!