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Your support and My support .. two different things

:thumbup: So I know you are all thinking you are trying to help me by not eating in front of me in the living room.. or sneaking upstairs with your take out food.. or staying in the kitchen.. And i know you think this is being so supportive.. just like my online friends in my game where we chat live on headset and you can say all day how proud you are and how you are here for me .. blah blah blah.. BUT you all really have no F**in Idea ! Supporting me while your eating your subs in the kitchen is nice and all but how bout just STAY AT THE GOD DAMN SUBSHOP AND EAT IT THERE.. .. and Yes i now you live out in texas and we only chat live on headset.. and you can say your supporting me in my success but why do you feel the F**in need to sit here live on your microphone and eat chips and cookies and with your mouth open for christs sakes! O O and then tell me how you only had a ham and cheese sandwich and cookie for lunch and thats not enough for u .. Oh OR.. how my husband who thinks he's the most supportive not eating in front of me or getting take out that I lOVE.. feels it's ok to cook and entire chicken F**in dinner in my small ass house with all the fixins so i can smell it all day. because it just would't be fair to the kids who are 21 and 14 to have sandwiches and soup for a while.. O O.. and how he can't believe i got mad because he sat next to me on the couch with a jar of peanuts to watch tv with me.. R YA KIDDIN ME!! I believe i can live without all of your great support.. Damnit people i havn't had a bit of food other then .. Broth/jello/or instant breakfast mix for 3 F**n weeks and another full week to go before i'm allowed to eat scrambled EGGs.. Can we just get a clue and not wonder why i'm a lil bitchy lately.. Wheeeew.. OK i think thats out now :smile: I think i'm ok now for another week .. Thanks for letting me vent.. sorry for the foul thoghts LOL
shellyh

shellyh

10
 

unexpected self control..Pep Talk

:cool2: I am so giving myself a gold freakn star!! Who'd a thunk it .. ME being able to go this long without solids. I have been on a liquid diet for the past 10 days and still kicking ! My doctor is very strict, i have to follow the list which consists of.. 3 carnation instant breakfast drinks a day a must! crystal light drink mix, sugar free popcycles, jellow, bullion or broth. the only plusses are a small bananna a day or 1/4 cup of other fruit, sugar free fat free pudding but only one a day or a no sugar added fat free yogurt instead. LOL DANG and i'm actually still doing it ?!? what has snapped in my mind.. is it the fact that i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, i can see through the blubber to the me inside? yup yup thats it.. i've made the decision that i am going to see myself thinner for once in my life LOL i'm gonna be that girl that the guys whistle at when i get out of the car not just at the face int he window. i can go without food for a month because i'm gonna have so many more years of smiles! Surgery is set for monday 9/20/10.. started the first day of liquids on 9/6/10.. starting my life over.. Well that was the day i made the decision to actually go to the info meeting.. and hell that was back in december ! I'm good to go baby! Bring it !:thumbup:
shellyh

shellyh

2
 

Wheew.. I LOVE MY DOC!

:smile:Ok sooo as i stated yesterday... i was very afraid to go to my follow up appointment with Dr B because after being on prednisone for pneumonia and also stopping smoking i had gained some weight which i am NOT happy about.. But wow did he make me feel soooo much better! He said to me .. " Listen, thats what your here for, to get help with losing weight. Thats what i can help you with. You concentrate on the two things i can't help you with which is staying off the smokes and using your Cpap machine, and lets not worry bout the rest. Get back on track and i'll help you to lose the weight." LOL i had to put that in a mellow light color because he is such a soft speaker and calm LOL.. but yes that was a great appointment because not only did he make me feel better but he put me back on track and i want to do well again and show him on my next 6 week follow up that i'm back on track. Run down now is because of the set back with pneumonia.. i have two more breath tests for smoking and 6 weeks of cpap. soo surgery is now looking like end of august beginning of september!! [ATTACH]347[/ATTACH]
shellyh

shellyh

2
 

Scary slow walk to Doc'

:eek: Ok today i have to go see my surgeon.. eeeek ! i'm scared of him although he is quite smaller then me LOL:wink:. .. BUT, I had a bad case of pneumonia recently and was hospitalized for a week and then sent home on prednisone for another 2 weeks., and lets just say after losing 8 lbs last time i saw Dr B.. I am not up and over that .. i know all the Doc's at my work say it's because i'm not smoking on top of being on prednisone.. but thats no excuse he'll tell me i'm sure!! Sooo wish me luck.. the little bugger scares me .. and i was so hoping to be down more next time i saw him and also plan a date for surgery.. but now i'm afraid it'll be pushed out because of the pneumonia.. soooo i'm gonna cross my fingers and leave you all with this quote from my Gal lady Gaga!   "Peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no trouble, noise, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." - Lady Gaga (:
shellyh

shellyh

1
 

Journey To Find Myself...

Thats it.. I'm on a search to find myself! Me, the one I remember from years ago.. The one that looked too cute when she went out and knew it ... The one her husband married... The flirty one...The sexy one.. The romantic one..The singer, The Dancer.......The confident one!!   Where did she go? she's lost beneath all of this contentment..sadness..and self doubt. I'm going to find her again, she is in there somewhere I just know it...and when I find her.. I'm never gonna let her out of my sight again...   Believe:lovechoc:
shellyh

shellyh

3
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