Ok guys, sorry for invading your Men's Room, but I am a woman who needs some input. My husband cheated on me the first couple of weeks we were dating, years ago. He came clean when we started getting serious and has not done it again, that I can tell. I had my suspicion about him in the beginning. We've now been married nearly 4 years, and have two beautiful children.

Yesterday, I went to pick up my kids from daycare and their provider and I always chit chat. She made a joke about how my husband was text messaging her daughter (who also works at the daycare) the other night and asking how she liked living on her own now (she recently got her own place) and how she was doing? She said it as if I knew, and I played along. I went home and asked my husband and he really didn't have a good answer for me. Just that he was being nice because she takes care of our kids. HELLO! She's a twenty one year old, college student, that is skinny and blond and perfect!

As a guy, do you think I should be suspicious?

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You need to calm down. Nobody was putting down anybody's age here; but there *is* something to be said after being involved in long-term successful relationships(say, 10 years+):

One thing I noticed in college was that the friends of mine who were dating, even over the course of years, had an all-or-nothing mindset. They indulged in hyper-romanticized notions of how relationships worked out in the practical sense.

This is something fairly well-described over the centuries, actually. Shakespeare wrote some of his best works on it.

Invariably, they broke up with much pain, angst and (the worst, IMHO) drama. Invariably, at least one party would be so self-righteously traumatized that *obviously* I was expected to sever all ties to the other party. [Yeah, right -- if you enter my house, and Satan is there, you either leave, or say, "Why Mr Beelzebub! How delightful to see you are well! How's tricks?". I alone choose what company I keep.]

Of the relationships that lasted, though, there was always the blind eye when it came to attraction. That is, the parties involved don't feel threatened by talk -- they know, at some level, that it's a complex play that works itself out, and can often serve useful purposes: reduced stress, inspired late-night acrobatics, the cheering-up of someone who could use some flirting.

To be sure, one of the most stable "couples" I know is actually a triad.

So while I agree with you that what "rules" are broken is entirely up to the specific players involved, it's just as true that flirting or outright lust after a 3rd (or 4th) party is hardly in itself cause for alarm. What (if anything) arises because of the situation, of course, may well be, depending on the nature of the relationship in question.

Monogamy is something of a rarity in this world. The human norm is only that way because of historical quirks that managed to spread themselves into our legal system. It's perfectly natural to discover your sweetheart's eyes undressing something walking down the street, and more often than not you'll find them turned right back at you with a wicked glint in them. I'd go so far as to consider it a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship if eyes *didn't* wander.

Of course, if I find myself surprised at more than 3 occupants in my bed when I crawl into it -- two of them being cats -- I expect a full explanation. But then, I also know I'll never have that situation.

And so, as regards the OP's situation, I think the only healthy response is as suggested by others: talk to the other party. Discuss your response to the situation in its unexplained state. Accept the response, and gauge whether you trust it. If you don't, you have a decision to make. If you do, no harm done -- maybe a warning about how best to care and feed for your hurt feelings. No need for drama or suspicion, nor need to live as or with a lie. If one likes flirting innocently, but the other is very bothered by it, then affair or not it's not a healthy relationship, and maybe they'd make better friends instead.

I have a happy marriage of 20 years and if Megan Fox walked into my bedroom naked while my wife is out of town and said "no one needs to ever know". I would laugh, thank her, and politely show her out.

Then I'd go rub one out the shower. I may be faithful, but I'm not dead. :wink2:

I'm in the same boat as you. If Megan Fox walked in naked, I would also insist that she leave. I would very sternly inform her that she has 24 hours to get OUT!

You guys are LIARS!! lol, j/k guys.

I'm in the same boat as you. If Megan Fox walked in naked, I would also insist that she leave. I would very sternly inform her that she has 24 hours to get OUT! :blushing:

HH

Such a liar! If Megan Fox walked into my room I would even do her and I'm not even a lesbian! :w00t: j/k