This is embarrassing but before my husband's gastric bypass surgery he loved to perform oral sex. Ever since, he just doesn't seem to enjoy it. He says it's because having actual intercourse is so much more enjoyable now. I just don't think that's it. Has anyone had any experience with this? Maybe his senses of taste and smell are different?

Well, not sure about his particular reasoning, but I can say that taste and smell definitely become affected after surgery. In some cases (the majority) it's temporary. But in some (like me) it's permanent. Ask him point blank if that's the case, and if it is, try not to take it personal. It's not YOU, and it's not something he can help. If it's not, then maybe he's just excited that he has the stamina to have sex longer and maybe the ability to try different positions that he couldn't do before. Have an open and honest conversation with him about it and go from there.

I understand completely what your husband is feeling being a post-op husband myself.

Not having a huge stomach and thighs in the way changes intercourse dramatically. One can get in there more completely, which gives much better sensation than before.

Then their the whole idea that he is feeling much better about himself.

Heck, his excess weight was probably a huge motivator in doing oral sex in the first place. He may have felt he was not satisfying you with intercourse so performed oral to ensure you were happy. Now that he is happy with intercourse and feeling like you are both being satisfied oral is less necessary.

Some clear and honest communication on wants and needs may help in understanding the situation. Guessing is more often wrong than useful.

Good luck,

Tek

1 hour ago, The Greater Fool said:

I understand completely what your husband is feeling being a post-op husband myself.

Not having a huge stomach and thighs in the way changes intercourse dramatically. One can get in there more completely, which gives much better sensation than before.

Then their the whole idea that he is feeling much better about himself.

Heck, his excess weight was probably a huge motivator in doing oral sex in the first place. He may have felt he was not satisfying you with intercourse so performed oral to ensure you were happy. Now that he is happy with intercourse and feeling like you are both being satisfied oral is less necessary.

Some clear and honest communication on wants and needs may help in understanding the situation. Guessing is more often wrong than useful.

Good luck,

Tek

"Heck, his excess weight was probably a huge motivator in doing oral sex in the first place. He may have felt he was not satisfying you with intercourse so performed oral to ensure you were happy. Now that he is happy with intercourse and feeling like you are both being satisfied oral is less necessary."

This is my guess. We're always quick to assume the worst and worry. I agree with others, the only way to get answers is to ask! I'm sure he'd love to hear you miss his amazing skills and the enjoyment you received from them!