Hey

I started this journey about a year ago, had surgery at the end of July 2017

Started on the high side of 460

Pre surgery weight loss had me start around 430

I'm now in the 350s, going to the gym 2-3/week as well

I'm asking because my doctor's office says that I'm at where I need to be, that I should be expecting between 10-15lbs/month lost, I'm at 11lbs/month, I'm going to the gym and building strength and endurance through cardio and weighlifting, I'm sure some of my mass is also with building muscles. I see that some people here have posted numbers that kill my own. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be.

Complicating matters, I'm in a relationship. Where around two months ago, I had lost 60 pounds after surgery, she had a coworker who had lost 100lbs. There were times I plateaud and not lose weight for a week or two, there were times I would guestimate my weights and be inconsistent. These things were unintentional but they eventually combined where she concluded that I was lying about my weights and/or not losing weight quickly enough.

I can say my weight feels like a deal breaker - she agrees that I have lost weight but I still look like a smaller version of myself, but wherever we go I'm still the biggest person around. People in her life ask her questions about me, she feels the need to defend herself. We get along great, but we've spoken about my weight being the major roadblock in our relationship.

So yeah, I'm frustrated. I'd appreciate advice and insight. Does my relationship have the writing on the wall? Are my numbers **** or are they where they need to be?

I wasn't quite as big as you when I started, but I did start my six month pre-op diet program at 397 pounds. I lost 99 pounds during the six months pre-op (I was so ready to make a change, so I took the plunge into keto eating), and lost the rest of my weight down to goal (180 pounds) at one year and 4 days post-op. That would have been a total of 217 pounds total by one year and 4 days post-op.

Here are my questions for you: How many calories do you take in per day? Carbs? Protein? What do you do for exercise? Do you track everything you eat and drink?

I ask these questions to maybe get a better picture of your journey. Everyone loses weight at different rates, but when you start off at a higher weight, it usually comes off at a quicker pace if you are doing what you need to do. (But there are SO many factors at play...)

I won't even get into the relationship thing in this post. But, I will say this -- everyone deserves to be with someone that loves them for who he or she is, not for who he or she could be...

I appreciate your reply

I don't log my calories. Protein shake for breakfast, lunch is something I make or the workplace cafeteria's healthy option section - example would be grilled chicken breast, salad. Dinner is typically something I make versus a take out option like a chicken gyro salad. I never felt the urge to track my food because I thought I was where I was supposed to be, perhaps I'll start.

Working out is an hour to an hour and a half. Split between cardio and machines. Cardio is always the same, stairmaster followed by eliptical and/or stationary bike. Machines would be different muscle groups, like back and abs. Ironically I meet with a personal trainer for the first time tomorrow.

I agree with bliz that you should perhaps not be with someone who tells you that your weight is a concern for them.