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Unfriendly Dr. Trouble eating food & shakes

Hi! New to this forum. 9/23 was my surgery date. I've lost 30 pounds.

I've not been able to be very active and I feel like I'm not losing the weight as quickly as I would like.

Have trouble with most food. Makes me nauseous, as well as the Protein shakes. Have vomited a few times.

Also, before my surgery my Dr and their staff were very friendly. Dr said I had to be back at work 2 weeks post op. I explained to her that I did not feel well (dizzy/weak) and that my work is very strenuous.

After repeatedly asking her for more time she only gave me 3 total weeks of leave and now I'm having trouble at work since the time I've been off is not "approved".

Dr told me she's performed surgery on people with the same type of job I have and they were fine.

Isn't every patient an individual???

Thanks

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  • That doesn't make much sense. I thought our doctors were are advocates, right ? Seems like you would have a greater span of control of your return dates. "No...you must work.....you should hav

  • Your doctor isn't making you go back to work, she is simply not writing you a note to keep you from having to go back. It is your job that is not allowing you to take the time off that you feel you ne

  • citygirl1962
    citygirl1962

    The federal government allows 12 weeks of unpaid family leave.

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What is your states medical leave law?

That doesn't make much sense.

I thought our doctors were are advocates, right ?

Seems like you would have a greater span of control of your return dates. "No...you must work.....you should have 2 jobs by now". Smacks of communism.

On the flip side....perhaps the doctor feels that a nudge in right direction will be helpful for you at this point......getting back to routine living.....moving around.....back in the flow of things. Doc may want to get you moving in order to add in some more calories to fire up your metabolism.

I know if left to my own devices.....I'd have stayed in that hospital bed for much longer than they allowed me to. Doc wouldn't allow it and had the weightlifter male nurse in there 3 hours after surgery to "persuade" me to get the hell up and go walking. I knew it was coming and I knew it was in my best interest......but the hernia repair & newly ventilated abdomen with 9 fresh new holes protested like a beast. Turns out that those walks were key to my healing.

Sometimes the docs push us harder than we'd push ourselves.....and it winds up getting us on track and progressing better.

All you can do is evaluate the situation and think hard about your's and other's safety. Is it safe for you to proceed with the doc's instruction ? If so....then maybe it's worth a bit of a struggle.

I sympathize and understand about work being antsy. I've taken 3 weeks out of my schedule....to allow the umbilical hernia repair to heal and stop hurting......but I worry that's not how they will see it....."He's had some radical weight loss surgery and is laying out of work......all he needed to do is lay off the biscuits and pizza". ;) I know they really aren't thinking like this.....but I've had the "no trusting" wall up so long that it's my often initial reaction.

Are you safe to return?

  • Author

That doesn't make much sense.

I thought our doctors were are advocates, right ?

Seems like you would have a greater span of control of your return dates. "No...you must work.....you should have 2 jobs by now". Smacks of communism.

On the flip side....perhaps the doctor feels that a nudge in right direction will be helpful for you at this point......getting back to routine living.....moving around.....back in the flow of things. Doc may want to get you moving in order to add in some more calories to fire up your metabolism.

I know if left to my own devices.....I'd have stayed in that hospital bed for much longer than they allowed me to. Doc wouldn't allow it and had the weightlifter male nurse in there 3 hours after surgery to "persuade" me to get the hell up and go walking. I knew it was coming and I knew it was in my best interest......but the hernia repair & newly ventilated abdomen with 9 fresh new holes protested like a beast. Turns out that those walks were key to my healing.

Sometimes the docs push us harder than we'd push ourselves.....and it winds up getting us on track and progressing better.

All you can do is evaluate the situation and think hard about your's and other's safety. Is it safe for you to proceed with the doc's instruction ? If so....then maybe it's worth a bit of a struggle.

I sympathize and understand about work being antsy. I've taken 3 weeks out of my schedule....to allow the umbilical hernia repair to heal and stop hurting......but I worry that's not how they will see it....."He's had some radical weight loss surgery and is laying out of work......all he needed to do is lay off the biscuits and pizza". ;) I know they really aren't thinking like this.....but I've had the "no trusting" wall up so long that it's my often initial reaction.

Are you safe to return?

thanks for your response.

And yes, Dr made it clear that I needed to get back in the groove of things which will help with the recovery.

It has been my goal to be back in the swing of things. Unfortunately bc of the govt job that I have I cannot return to work until I can perform 100%.

Mainly my question/concern is can she force me back to work--not allow me the leave I need just because it's her way???

I honestly felt like she is not being my advocate, and pushing me out to work when I am not physically ready to perform. I let her know every time I had an appointment and she made me feel like it was my fault that I had so much nausea, dizziness, and fatigue.

I'm currently looking for another bariatric surgeon.

At this time I am safe to return, but I haven't returned bc I have a new health issue that has come up.

  • Author

What is your states medical leave law?

I live in California. I'm not sure what the law is bc I am a gov't employee and that doesn't apply to us. (They do what they want)

I also don't collect unemployment/disability, I have to use my sick leave and vacation days.

That is something her staff was adamant about, they said we can't give you more leave per state disability. She made it sound like I was taking money out of her pocket.

I made it clear to her that I DO NOT collect.

While I understand your frustration, I think being weak/tired and vomiting a couple of times is not a good enough reason to be off of work.

I know people have said "I needed the whole six weeks off after surgery" or "I wish I would have taken more time off after surgery"; I just can't help but wonder, why?

I know people who have had major back surgery, sliced open, in the hospital for 3-4 days that don't need more than a couple of weeks off from surgery. I have known a couple of people who have had brain surgery that didn't take an entire month off from work; it is hard for me to understand why needing more than 2-3 weeks after WLS is needed. *shrug*

Being weak is part of the process, it gets better and you have to dedicate yourself to getting in enough fluids, Protein and a full night's rest or you'll always be weak/sleepy/sick to your stomach. It won't ever go away. You have to take on the mindset of "the only way I am going to feel better is if I am up walking, getting in my fluids, getting in my protein, taking my Vitamins, overcoming my discomfort and getting back into routine." This by no means should be translated as "push yourself harder" no, it means "work through the minor complications to keep yourself from running into major ones."

Your doctor isn't making you go back to work, she is simply not writing you a note to keep you from having to go back. It is your job that is not allowing you to take the time off that you feel you need. Another surgeon isn't going to keep you from going back to work. The other option would be talking to your PCP about writing you a medical note giving you more time.

That doesn't make much sense.


I thought our doctors were are advocates, right ?

Seems like you would have a greater span of control of your return dates. "No...you must work.....you should have 2 jobs by now". Smacks of communism.



On the flip side....perhaps the doctor feels that a nudge in right direction will be helpful for you at this point......getting back to routine living.....moving around.....back in the flow of things. Doc may want to get you moving in order to add in some more calories to fire up your metabolism.

I know if left to my own devices.....I'd have stayed in that hospital bed for much longer than they allowed me to. Doc wouldn't allow it and had the weightlifter male nurse in there 3 hours after surgery to "persuade" me to get the hell up and go walking. I knew it was coming and I knew it was in my best interest......but the hernia repair & newly ventilated abdomen with 9 fresh new holes protested like a beast. Turns out that those walks were key to my healing.

Sometimes the docs push us harder than we'd push ourselves.....and it winds up getting us on track and progressing better.



All you can do is evaluate the situation and think hard about your's and other's safety. Is it safe for you to proceed with the doc's instruction ? If so....then maybe it's worth a bit of a struggle.


I sympathize and understand about work being antsy. I've taken 3 weeks out of my schedule....to allow the umbilical hernia repair to heal and stop hurting......but I worry that's not how they will see it....."He's had some radical weight loss surgery and is laying out of work......all he needed to do is lay off the biscuits and pizza". ;) I know they really aren't thinking like this.....but I've had the "no trusting" wall up so long that it's my often initial reaction.



Are you safe to return?


thanks for your response.
And yes, Dr made it clear that I needed to get back in the groove of things which will help with the recovery.

It has been my goal to be back in the swing of things. Unfortunately bc of the govt job that I have I cannot return to work until I can perform 100%.

Mainly my question/concern is can she force me back to work--not allow me the leave I need just because it's her way???

I honestly felt like she is not being my advocate, and pushing me out to work when I am not physically ready to perform. I let her know every time I had an appointment and she made me feel like it was my fault that I had so much nausea, dizziness, and fatigue.

I'm currently looking for another bariatric surgeon.

At this time I am safe to return, but I haven't returned bc I have a new health issue that has come up.

My dr office gives a standard 6 weeks, I only took 11 days but I am self employed and don't have strenuous job. I also explained to all my clients to take it easy on me. Maybe go back on half days.

The federal government allows 12 weeks of unpaid family leave.

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