I'm going to start out by telling you about my journey. Sorry for the babble.

I started my journey in April of last year. I went through all of my testing, dietitian, psych eval, plus some. I was originally scheduled for my op in November. It got pushed to December. A month before my operation, the insurance coordinator came in and told me that the doctor was leaving. I couldn't believe it. Luckily, I was able to transfer to another doctor and saw him at the beginning of December. I had planned to have my surgery over Christmas break. I attend school online and it is virtually impossible to miss class. Also, my husband was scheduled to have a break as well. Things got pushed back..again. The insurance coordinator at the new place was totally confused. She submitted my paperwork to the wrong insurance company, she got my name mixed up with someone else, and she didn't submit the correct documentation. BCBS IL determined that they wouldn't cover me. I was under 40 BMI and I didn't have the required comorbidities, although I do have asthma, gerd, and high cholesterol. I was crushed but I had come too far. I had looked as far as going to Mexico which I thought I would never do. I called the office and scheduled a weigh in. I put 5 lb weight around my ankles, wore heavy clothes, put stuff in my pockets. It was pretty nerve wracking and amusing....but I weighed in over 40 BMI so I was happy. Meanwhile, the insurance coordinator told me to appeal. I wrote a letter, my husband wrote a letter, the whole nine yards. Turned out all they needed was a submission of my weight. It was a predetermination letter not a denial! I took the initiative and submitted the paperwork myself. I about had it by then! I figure I will get news soon. A week later I get a call and the doctor needs to see me. There was no way that I would weigh in if they put me in a gown. I was determined so I ate a bunch of crap. Two weeks later, I went in with weights...in my bra this time (just 2 lbs) and I weighed in. They didn't even put me in a gown. I saw the doctor and he went all through my history AGAIN. It was so frustrating because they introduced a new system the day of my first appointment. Soooo....the doctor speaks to me and tells me that the information has to be resubmitted. Here we go again! I leave the office and they call me and tell me that my psych exam is not there. I knew for a fact they had it. I had the pile of files with me, psych exam and all on the day of my first visit. I told them and this time I was firm. Anyways, I waited for a few days then called the insurance company myself and my submission passed me for a "yes" for predetermination. I was so happy, I called the office and left a message...no call back then straight to voicemail. The following day I had the bright idea of using my husbands phone and I got to the coordinator. Turns out the original coordinator left and the job was handed to the scheduler and she admitted to me that she had absolutely no clue of what she was doing. I guided her through everything and my surgery was scheduled for Feb 10! Thank God!

I have had periods of severe anxiety, depression, and mania. They have determined that I have bipolar but it has been up in the air for about 10 years. This whole situation left me on pins and needles. I felt fantastic for the past year (2013) but in December I came close to a mental breakdown. Everything was happening so haphazard and I honestly thought that God wanted me to lose the weight the natural way. I started to have anxiety so bad that it was hard to leave the house. It was really bad. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and she increased my Effexor. Most of you may be aware of the mania that can occur with an increase in dosage.So here I am. My anxiety is soooo bad and my mania is driving me insane. Unlike many people, I do not enjoy mania. It makes me feel out of control and I HATE it. I'm trying to do my school work and I cannot put my thoughts into clear sentences. I'm anxious about the surgery, school, finances, everything. It is a vicious cycle. I'm concerned with recovery and my mental health.

I know that the transition will be difficult but I suppose I need some insight on how any of you have dealt with your situation. I suppose I'm looking for a friend that I can share my journey with that understands how bipolar and mental illness can change with surgery. If anyone uses prayer, that would also be helpful. God is the only thing that keeps me going.

Hello, I too am bipolar. I have been on many different medications over the years. Some that I have been on have contributed to my weight weight gain which doesn't help my mental health situation. It took a long time to find a medication that didn't make me feel like the walking dead or make me have anxiety. I finally learned that I needed to communicate what was going on with me with my psychiatrist or even my counselor to get the ball rolling in the right direction. I feel for you because having that much anxiety is miserable. You might want to reach out to your psychiatrist and explain what is going on with you and maybe they can alter your dose or try something new. I think it would be overwhelming to be feeling what you are and going into such a life changing event.

Please take care.

ok... I am not BP but I have to say that I think you sound TOTALLY NORMAL!! The surgery and decision is a big one and can be overwhelming.... however, what you went through with approval sounds like enough to drive any person to want to stick a fork in their own eye or SOMEONE ELSE's eye!! Seriously - we are all just numbers in a system when it comes to many things and seems like you were treated rather poorly.....

so aside from the surgery and psych and meds, I hope you are seeing a good therapist and can discuss this with you. I dont like to use the term 'victim' but I think you were rather victimized in your insurance journey.

Meanwhile, Feb 10 is around the corner. Are you seeing a nutritionist yet and starting a pre-op eating plan? And I must say that the part in your story about adding weights, gave me a good chuckle. I almost did the same myself. I never in my life thought I would want to weight more than I really did until I went through the approval procedure.

ok... I am not BP but I have to say that I think you sound TOTALLY NORMAL!! The surgery and decision is a big one and can be overwhelming.... however, what you went through with approval sounds like enough to drive any person to want to stick a fork in their own eye or SOMEONE ELSE's eye!! Seriously - we are all just numbers in a system when it comes to many things and seems like you were treated rather poorly.....

so aside from the surgery and psych and meds, I hope you are seeing a good therapist and can discuss this with you. I dont like to use the term 'victim' but I think you were rather victimized in your insurance journey.

Meanwhile, Feb 10 is around the corner. Are you seeing a nutritionist yet and starting a pre-op eating plan? And I must say that the part in your story about adding weights, gave me a good chuckle. I almost did the same myself. I never in my life thought I would want to weight more than I really did until I went through the approval procedure.

Hahaha @ the fork reference. I do have a psych nurse. I will be going to see a therapist after surgery. I will need it. I did see the nutritionist and have that all down. I never thought I would be desperate enough to put weight on me. What a ridiculous situation lol. I'm almost there! I will remain strong. I am so thankful for every one on this site. Everyone has been so kind. We are all proof that we are not "numbers". We are people with feelings and this journey is very hard!

You can overcome this!!! I have also battled major depression, panic/anxiety, and PTSD. First of all I hope you are working with a psychiatrist that you like and that respects you as a patient. Even though they may have the best of intentions a primary care physician just isn't trained for the job. If you do not like the person you are being treated by or you don't think their methods are effective it is your right to go see someone else.

--Another thing I would make sure is being done is that your Dr. is looking at your whole person and not just saying things are all psychological without doing any testing. Your thyroid should be checked, a vitamin and mineral panel should be done and potentially your hormones need to be tested. Rule out anything that can medically make you feel this way or predispose you.

--I have treatment resistant depression so I have tried many treatments. I will not down any of them because like clothes one size doesn't always fit all. I think it dangerous to say this drug is bad when in fact it could be the one that works for you.

--Many medications take quite a while to work fully. But some can make you feel even more agitated or anxious. If that is the case look up akathisia. This happened to me on more than one medication. Sometimes they can counter that or they take you off the medication completely and try a new one. In this case it's not you it's the medicine.

--Another suggestion would be if that anxiety and panic are getting to you every day ask the Dr. if they might put you on something like clonazepam or Xanax etc. small doses throughout the day. I started at 4 small doses spread through the day and now I take 2 doses. This helped me immensely throughout the day. It doesn't have to be forever.

--Avoid stimulants like caffeine they will just increase your pulse thereby increasing the "anxiety."

--Work with a therapist whether it be a Christian one or otherwise. One that can connect with you...you will know. If you have an awful one first time around don't think you have to stay with them. Move on...I had to go through a few. Your chances of beating this improve when you have a doctor and a therapist on board.

--Become your own best advocate. Learn about the mental health portions of your insurance benefits. Educate yourself on your condition and you will feel more empowered. You will learn about a multitude of therapies that you may not have known about.

--Lastly, make sure you have a support system in place. Mine is my family. I can speak very frankly with them. There are support groups also but again be careful it may not be the right fit and you may have to try more than one. I give all the glory to God for helping me get through all this. I am utilizing all the different doctors and people he put around me. My tests became my testimony...I have had the privilege to help those who were suffering. You can get through this. It is possible. My life has been a tragic one but looking back I see how God has helped me get through it and use it. I have been stable for 10+ years. Not to say you don't have trials along the way that is just simply the human condition.

--I can hear the fight in your post you'll get through it! Sorry for such a long response.

My advice is to research various bipolar medications and see if 1) they have an association with weight gain and 2) they have an association with raising resting glucose levels. I am a disabled veteran with BP disorder (honorable d/c Nov 2002, not a war veteran) and in my view my weight gradually but slowly went up taking various psych medications. You don't want to reach your weigh loss goal and then start to gain because of taking this "mind candy". I should also emphasize that as you quickly lose weight in the beginning (4-5 lbs/week) you need to have your BLOOD LEVEL of these drugs tested monthly. I was taking 4 lithium capsules for a long time as a fatso but within a month post op, my psychiatrist cut it to 2 capsules because my level was approaching the toxic level and had it not been reduced I would have soon been showing signs and symptoms of chronic lithium toxicity. Was it my psychiatrist who called me in for a blood test? NO! You have to instinctively understand as you get smaller and the amount of blood in your body decreases that all medications will become more concentrated. So it was ME who called HER and said I wanted a blood draw for Lithium. Since that time 1 1/2 months ago, I have gone down 20 more. I will be getting another blood test next week. And again, it was ME who made the call. I cannot speak for the chronic toxicity syndromes of other bipolar drugs. Just research it yourself and get your blood level tested.

Having anxiety about whether or not to get the operation is only normal. Gastric Bypass is major surgery. Having you gall bladder taken out, for example, is minor surgery. For those of us who are middle aged and never have "gone under the knife" this is a very scary idea. For us taking on this operation it is a "leap of faith". The night before I reported to the hospital I was having this back and forth conversation in my head. Luckily the "man" part won and I had the operation. So maybe you could use a little more clonazepam to reduce the anxiety and its physical symptoms.

I congratulate you on your cleverness stuffing weights in your bra! That shows me that you really know this operation will improve your life. I am just agast at the incompetency of the insurance people you have dealt with. Could we double welfare payments so that they could just stay home? Because of being a disabled vet I have Medicare at the age of 46 and with Medicare all I had to prove is that I had a BMI of 35-39 with two co-morbidities (BMI above 40 they do with no questions asked). The good thing about Medicare is that they only pay for the surgery at a "Center of Excellence" a moniker earned by the gastric bypass surgeons at that facility based on their past published surgery results. Norton Community Hospital in Louisville (95 miles from my home in "deep southern" Indiana) is the only center in Kentucky that won that distinction. The hospital 2 miles south of me does the operation but they are not a "Center of Excellence" But really the only person you care about competency for is the surgeon. Make sure you investigate your surgeon well. Mine has been doing weight loss surgery only and has never had a "leak"