Emotional Eating Triggers

This is a hard one. I'm not even sure what I'll title this post yet, since I'm not entirely sure how to phrase the question.

I'll start by explaining my situation. My mom is anorexic, and has been struggling with it since her teen years. She's 5'9 and maybe 120#, and has a very hard time eating anything. She exhibits the typical behavior patterns - avoiding food, complaining about her weight and body, etc. I am on the other end of the spectrum though - I'm 5'6" and 230 lbs, and can't stop eating. She's constantly telling me I'm beautiful, she loves my curves and she doesn't know why I think I'm fat, why I'm getting the band, etc. She's reasoning that my doctors are only "pushing me to the surgery to get money," and that BMI scales are invalid and some sort of tool used to fat shame.

It's opened up a lot of painful discussion between the two of us, she's asking me lots of questions about the band, is disbelieving of the amount of calories I can consume on any given stressful day, and is trying to talk me out of it.

It's really frustrating because I'm trying to tread lightly. I am trying to encourage her to move forward in her recovery, but at the same time my desire to lose weight seems to be triggering her. Her determination to lose more weight and talk me out of this surgery is triggering me... all I want to do is sit and eat everything in sight. My husband is an amazing support in this... but has anyone else had a similar situation? How did you deal with it?

thanks for reading...