Lost....

Been a while....

Feeling completely lost. I know what Im supposed to be doing, just cant get myself straight.

Got through my first year and a half without any real problems, lost 115 pounds, felt good. Then started having problems seemingly out of nowhere.Have been having continuous problems the past few months with nausea and vomiting. Went to my surgeon, did the upper GI TWICE, went to GI, did the endoscopy and colonoscopy- showed only minor diverticulitilis.

Still having on and off vomiting but i guess its a little better- had ALL of my fill removed last month and now I have GAINED 6 pounds.

So discouraged, have been throwing up for so long and I guess i figured if im going to throw it up anyway whats the point? Obviously that was incorrect since I gained!

Still getting nausous with just about everything I eat. I am exercising EVERY SINGLE day and I love it but I have completely lost control of my diet and im struggling. Cant get myself back on track and I really feel that nobody is listening. My surgeon didnt find anything so sent me to GI, GI found nothing and sent me back to surgeon. My friends try and be supportive but their suggestions range from "you deserve some cheat time, you have done so well" to "just get the band taken out, you look great and you lost all the weight so you dont need it" Well obviously I do since Ive had all my fill out for a little over a month and gained 6 pounds.

Supposed to see my surgeon next week and I really dont want to go:-( Feeling like such a failure