OCTOBER 2010 Bandsters - so how are you?

I have had my surgery October the 6th which was my early present by my bf - since I am on his insurance. Yay!

First two weeks I was on pain meds because I was feeling like I went through a meat grinder. Before the surgery I was looking forward to the time I wake up since I was feeling sooo good when I woke p from my nose job but after this surgery a woke up feeling like I had a sack of bricks dragged up and down my ches. I wined on and on waking up so they gave me three morfine shots which did make me feel better but I was still hurting.

At my 1 week post op appointment I was very very hungry so doc put me on Phentermine which helped a lot. He did give me 3 refills to - I have a great doc.

I was loosing day by day - total 32lbs in four weeks - wow. I never expected that.

But now the Phen is wearing out since my body is adjust to it and I becoming more and more hungry... Last two days I couldn't control my hunger so I weigh 5lbs more than a week ago - very scared.

Already had one fill - 2cc out of my 10cc band. My doc said that its the best he could do on the first fill. I gave me no restriction at all. I was stuck twise already but other than that I feel almost no restriction.

At the very start I was just dropping pounds by the day and now it seems like my body is getting accustomed to the change and is trying to cope with the weight loss. I became compulsive last three days. I woud walk around a muffin for a couple of hours salivating over it and then finally grab it and spend 20 minuts chewing on it. ( the fact that I work nights alone and have a fully stacked corporate kitchen at my disposal at all times does NOT help )

So, I am worried sick and guilty.

I am getting a treadmil this Friday since I need to start working out - I just haven't been able to bring myself to it yet. I am afraid that if I wil start working out my hunger will consume me.

It is a wonderful journey because I am able to do many things that were difficult to cope with before I lost these 30lbs like walking up and down the stairs at work every mornong. Now it seems like I am looking forward to that instead of asking everyone to do that for me.

I hope that with working out I will be able to loose more and get healthier. ( thats another thing - I need to quit smoking if I am going to work out - they did put me on Wilbutrin but its been a week now and nothing changed - blah )

I have been reading this forum religiously and I love all these different forums that so far cover every single question I have had and even more.

I love the powder Room Gone Wild forum - its just awesome. So manyunexpected topics. Its like reading an adult magasine for banded people.

Now that I am skinnier I want to make love to my bf more and instead of supressing my desires like I did before due to my phisical insecurities I am in the process of exploring them. I am dragging my bf to the sex xounselor. And that is a whole other story about my bf - he can't keep up with me. I want to do so much now.

It seems to me like I am able to do so many things now that I am loosing weight. My bf found a pair of new jeans that I brought with me from Cali when I moved here (TN) I was a size 8 then. In five weeks I lost 30lbs so I changed from size 22 to size 16. So, now I am holding on to that pair to have it as my future succes story.

So, it is wonderful and so eventful.

Before the surgery it seemes like I was in a Stand By mode restricted by all the guilt and shame of letting myself go. Now I want to catch up, move on and progress to new me.

I am so happy I have this website as a support group since I can just read it whenever I am bored to educate myself and expect what is coming - in many different variations and possibilities that people here represent.

So, thank you for being here for me. As much as I can I will be there for you.

Thank you again...

Love and Blesings

P.S. So howis your journey so far? I would love to hear your changes and experiences. What changed? How are you feeling? Was it worth it for now?