redjules

Thank you both. I just got new insurance, I'll see what's covered :-)

I hesitate to share because I don't want to be a bummer. I went to Mexico 5 years ago, got my surgery, not too bad. I weighed 240. By the end of 12 months I was down to 175 and felt fabulous about my weight loss. I had so many problems though. My band didn't seem to have a happy spot. If I had enough of a fill to have any restriction, I couldn't even swallow a thyroid pill, if I had a headache I was out of luck. It got to the point that I threw up every day. Anything I tried to get down in the morning just sat in my throat and started aching until I would finally go into the bathroom and bend over and let it out. I'm talking Water. By the time noon came around it was a little better, hot liquids in small quantities could be sipped. Between 6 and eight in the evening, it was almost like I didn't have a band. I still had to avoid rice, bread, stringy foods etc... I could eat Pasta, meat nearly everything else. Then I would need to stay up until at least midnight or everything would come up in the middle of the night. I could never count how many times I woke up having a dream I was drowning or choking and rush to the bathroom before throwing up. It became routine for me to sleep in my recliner because i was afraid to lie down. It didn't matter if I had broth for dinner, it was going to happen. If I had Fluid taken out, even a .5 CC, I would start gaining. A couple years ago, after a bad bout of the flu, I was extremely dehydrated, anemic and felt like I was dying. I drove out to Eugene and had all the liquid taken out. I live in Portland. The fill doc said to me "oh, you'll be back". I cried the entire 3 hour drive home. I really hoped beyond hope I could keep the weight off. I started drinking lots of water, gym every day. Here it is 2 years later and not only have I gained the entire 65 lbs. I lost but I've added an extra 40. I even ran a marathon this last summer. I'm basically suicidal at the thought of my weight. I feel extremely defeated. I'm terrified to endure this again but I don't know if I can go on if I don't. Any advice?