beversman

sweethot - thanks for saying that girl! I am glad I can inspire somebody because I sure havent been inspiring myself lately I know I should be happier but I see bannannie still moving right ahead and I wonder why I am stuck. I shouldn't be. I wanted to have all the weight gone by December 22nd. My one year anniversary. I will be lucky to be another 5lbs gone by then at this rate. I guess it might take another 3 years. but I will get it eventually... even if I have to get rich and get it sucked out! hahaha Steph - I told my band doctor about it too. the exhaustion and they didn't seem concerned. I guess I could go back to the primary care doc, but they are gonna charge me for a visit and the tests (which i cant afford) and send me home with an "I don't know" Nat - I know I am being hard on myself. I am just frustrated. Thing were going so well. And I haven't changed my behaviors now... and what I used to do before that worked... isn't working now. I hate thinking I have things figured out and being dead wrong. I know I need some lazy recovery days, and I do ALOT of sleeping trust me. I am just burnt out at work and at home. I don't know how to get myself sorted back out again. Nikki - the pain in your shoulder IS related to overeating or eating something that irritates the band and THAT region. Google "Kehr Sign" That is what it is called. See, all of your internal organs are contected to nerves elsewhere in the body that "feel the pain" for the organs. So, when you have irritation near the band... it usually effects your diaphram which is right there next to (if not against) your band. When it is irritated you feel the pain in the back side of your left shoulder. It works the same way in different place for your liver... spleen... kidneys... you will get pain in funny places when you irritate them. I used to get the Kehr's sign pain all the time!! It is ok! Just means you did something your shouldn;t have. It will go away went the irritation subsides. kaydot! awesome on the loss! i would take it girl. I am surper jealous of your body bugg! I've wanted one for about 5 months now and I was just about ready to get it as an early christmas present when I had all of the speeding ticket problems... so all of my money that I saved for it is gone. At least now, I have someone to let me know if it is worth the investment. Steph (again) :-) - I've been on Effexor before. It makes me a different person. I mean spacey as hell. All meds effect me in a "way to obvious" kind of fashion... even the low dose ones. Unfortunately, because I am starting to think that is probably it. I've had so much horrible stuff happen in the last year and a 1/2 -- I tried to stay in control of it. But instead of having burdens lifted off... they are just piling up on top of eachother. A good Wednesday: I got to go see an old friend from college yesterday, Blake. I had not seen him in 4 years. It was nice. He didnt say anything about the changes, but I could tell he noticed. He just isnt the type of guy that would say something about it. I got a ton of hugs and he really seemed like he wanted to hang out again soon. He is coming to an "after" Halloween party with me on the 11th. Should be fun. I used to have the biggest crush on him waaayyyy back in the day. I was 21 at the time. so that was like 6 years ago. So, it was good to have him see me looking so much better. He acutally looked a little rough around the edges... haha, but was still my same old Blake. We went to a concert together in Indianapolis with two of his other female friends. They were nice girls. Then, we all stayed at my best friend Eric's house. After everyone else went to sleep, Eric and I had our cuddle time and stayed up and talked (amongst other things.. ha) for hours. It was nice. So, i got a good dose of friend time on halloween! I needed it. I've basically been slowly blocking out the trial and the legal crap. It is on the back burner for now. I am trying to just push it aside to deal with it a bit later. Hopefully, it won't come to all of that... and something else will be worked out. God knows there is plenty of time between now and March 17th for that to happen.

VAbandster go here :-) http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/page6/page6.html These are the podcasts - you right click on the link and then hit SAVE AS -- then download the MP3's this guy put the times to music - so you dont need a stop watch and can just run to the music without thinking. He tells you when to start and stop running. pretty cool.

"Pretend to care????" SweetHot is about to get a long-distance butt kicking! haha OF COURSE we really do care... ya punk! I went and down loaded the MP3's yesterday to try it myself in fact. I think it sounds like an awesome idea. I would love to try it, but I've been enjoying the peace and quiet lately while I am walking. so, I will try it soon. Oh! and DONT compare yourself to me when it comes to exercise. Girl, YOU are losing! I am NOT. I am also not consistent. I walked last week, but that was it. I took 4 days off too. I don't know why my body is holding on to this weight for dear life... but it certainly is. You do what you feel comfortable doing. I suck at running, that is why I walk so far instead I just havent been feeling my elliptical lately either. It seems like way too much effort and oh so boring. dont know why I suddenly dont like the thing. I used to love it.

I've been to a strip club before. As long as it is a classy one you will have a blast (with an open mind of course)... I got a big kick out of it. All of my friends are guys and they didn't think that I'd go with them... BOY did I show them. We got all kinds of attention from the girls because they had a woman with them (aka. ME)! haha. After that, my guy friends kept trying to talk me into going back again (the punks)... it was fun (ONCE) but it was not one of those things that I would want to do on a regular basis! They all got alot more out of it than I did! haha. BUT I am the type that has to try everything just once! So, I can cross "strip club" off my list! haha. Go for it! You only live once.

Mslance - It is very possible... i can fluctuate as much as 5-6 lbs in one day. I just have to kind of take the average of the two. You are NOT gaining FAT though. You are CORRECT there. It is impossible to gain that much fat overnight. BUT you ARE retaining water... watch your sodium intake (THAT is what always gets me) :-) I love salty foods. Ladies -- just checking in, I walked an hour last night. 5 + miles. I also had a friend of mine that let me borrow her "bean" -- it is like and elliptical ball, only it is supposed to be better. It is on all of those infomercials late at night. So, I am going to try it out and see if it works better than the stability ball or not. I am still very tired. I went to bed early the last two nights in a row. Sleeping by 10:30pm and not up till 7am -- Still exhausted though and dont know why. Hope you are all doing well.

Im here ladies :boink: thanks for you all being so sweet and asking about me. I am trying to just take things one day at a time. I slept alot this weekend. Ate resonably well. I will be ok. I've just had the wind knocked out of my sails... yet again. I'm proud to say that I've stayed away from the peanut butter cups. No real junk food. I have no idea what I weigh. I havent gone near a scale since I was at the doctor and they told me I'd gained. I've been reading and keeping up with all that is going on. I just feel awful quiet these days. Love you all and keep up the awesome work! you are all doing fabulous.

im here ladies... just very down in the dumps Legal News: My trial date is not until March 17, 2008. So, this is going to be affecting me for almost another 6 months! :cry I just want it over and done with. It is ruining everything for me. I just get sick thinking about it. Band News: I went and got .4CC more added to my band yesterday. total of 3.4 CC are in there now in my 4CC band. I am on liquids. Bad news... the doctors office says I gained 3 lbs from my last visit a month ago. :cry It was the first time I'd ever saw a gain at the Dr. I felt horrible about it. I don't know how it is possible with the way I eat and the exercise I do, but apparently... it is possible. My body is completely out of wack. I am not sleeping. I didn't even get a period this month! and (let me stress) no there is NO way that I am pregnant. So, my body is just completely messed up for some reason. I am tired all the time. I just don't know what to do. I haven't even exercised once this week. I just feel like crap. Claud - I am praying for you and your family honey! I keep watching the news and im thinking about starting some kind of a benefit out here to raise money to send to Cali for AID. I can't believe how many families have been affected.

I have 3.2 CC in my 4.0CC band -- and Lately, i can eat bread (slices of the low carb bread) without a problem... as long as i chew and take my time Like today i had a ham sandwich (with FF miracle whip) for lunch. I didnt eat the crust, but the bread went down just fine. Yesteray i had a bannana nut muffin... I ate it over the course of two hours... but no problems with it either. I didnt used to be able to eat any bread... Is this normal? I dont think there is anyway i streched something out becuase I am a pretty good bandster, but it makes me worried that the breat seems to be going down without issue. I just had a fill about 3 and 1/2 weeks ago. I just get paranoid about hurting my little pouch and wonder why I am having so little restriction with such a recent fill and with so many CCs in my band.

well, forget the weightloss. My lawyer just called me. You know how you would THINK that the prosecutor would not want to go to jury trial over a speeding ticket?? Well, they do. I was just informed that this prosecutor fully intends to press charges against me. So, pray for me ladies. Apparently, I should have just let the semi run over me that day. Speeding up to save your own life is actually considered reckless driving. If you save your own life in a construction zone in Indiana. I will now have to pay my lawyer an additional $1000 for the impending jury trail. I will also be responsible for the $500/per deposition to cover a court reporter for the police officer that issued the ticket and the clerk that took my money without issuing a summons. We are up to $3000 for a speeding ticket that i've already paid.... a ticket I recieved for simply speeding up to avoid being crushed by a semi on the interstate. Apparently it isn't enough to tell these people that I'd be dead right now. I have to fork over thousand of dollars to prove it. This life is sad sad place... i want to throw up. And yet, here I sit at work. Trying to remember why I don't just curl up in a hole and give-up. This has been one of the worst years of my life. They just keep getting worse the more years go by. Thank you for the well wishes. Wish the "man up stairs" paid any attention to me or those praying for me. Apparently, he doesn't.

The scale depresses me. I've already biked a mile this morning. I don't know what I need to do except eat like 400-500 calories a day. THAT is the only thing I can think of. Starving myself half to death. It is supposed to be as simple as calories in and calories out... THAT is what any doctor or expert will tell you. Well, I track every calorie. I weigh all my food. I even track the bad stuff... every bite. I KNOW i've been exercising off MORE calories than ive been putting in, and NOTHING. I'd love to have someone keeping me accountable for workouts. and would love to share my monday weigh in's. (It's easy they don't change! EVER!) So, I am up for it. What kind of a workout challenge are we looking at? I will just keep posting what I am doing everyday. I am going to go biking sometime this weekend. Probably saturday morning. I walked 40 minutes last night, but took a day off from weights and the elliptical. Had to allow some healing from my strained muscles. I will be back at it tonight. I have about 1100 extra calories to burn off from yesterday's fiasco. Do you guys think I've streched something out?? since i can eat bread like that? I can feel it going through in my stomach -- so I dont think I have a problem, but I am very worried that my stomach is streching out in there for some reason. :-( paranoid. This morning i had to eat it slowly (and chew chew chew of course), but I had two pieces of (low carb; 6g carbs) bread -- toasted. with no calorie butter and splenda w/ cinnamin. It went down just fine.

sweethot I understand ive been eating less than 800 calories everyday for a week... working out like a mad woman. Not one lbs gone. not a single one. I got really frustrated and ate everything is site yesterday (well, the bandster version... basically grazed all evening)... 1700 calories... UGH I'm sure THAT helped. I was just tired and hungry. My fill doc won't get me in till next Tuesday. I can eat bread... like a ham sandwhich (w/o crust) and it doesn't get stuck at all. ???? I already have 3.2CC in my 4CC band. I'm not sure how i could still be that loose I just want to loose a few more lbs. give me a freakin break! UGH Thanks for the encouragement Banannie, but i see myself naked. I want to look good... not just like a normal "overweight" person. I do believe you guys when you say you see a difference though. i promise. I am so afriad I am just going to be stuck here forever. It is like it was before surgery. No I am not gaining, but I can't get one damn pound to come off. I am trying so hard and nothing works. its been months. Ive been patient. why isn't it working anymore? UGH

Oh the joys of motherhood! haha... UGH! poor Nat! Just got off the elliptical. Exercise Today: 40 minutes on elliptical 15 minutes of ab work (in conjunction with) 15 minutes of weight training (10lbs weights) Push ups (I am just now able to do the hardcore "for real" no bent knees kind) 40 minutes of walking at about 3 - 4 MPH I drank 4 Liters + of water today... Calories under 900

My boobs love you for "backing them up" - sorry the people here are mean!

Just popping in to say... UGH. What a day. Is it time to go home yet? I am tired of filing! work stinks... Exercise: I did my weights all weekend. I've been on my elliptical both monday and tuesday... last night was for a full 40 minutes instead of my usual 30min. -- i am back in the groove with THAT. I've also been weight training every single night and walking for 45-60 minutes (about 3 miles). Had to go back to the 5lbs weights at first. (cuz i slack off for awhile) Last night I increased back to the 10lbs. weights! **Note: despite all of this... scale still not moving. Spoke to my lawyer today... he said he talked to the Deputy Prosecutor... and that the gentleman is supposed to call him back today. My lawyer believes he will be quite "willing" to "make this all go away" and to avoid the mess that they are about to get themselves into. I will find out the details tomorrow. (keep your fingers crossed)

I know what you mean about changes from when we signed on for this. Lapband is soooo popular now. My doctors office is looking more and more like a conveyor belt sometimes. They still offer excellent care.... I haven't had any problems with the physical procedures or information they give me BUT I used to call for a fill and get in the next day. Now, I call for a fill and am lucky to get an appointment 2 weeks out. UGH. If I am calling for a fill. I need it now. THAT part is getting frustrating. I still love my doc though and his staff... I think he was just "to good" for his own good. They are SWAMPED with new patients. Everyone in the Cincinnati area wants my doc! I liked it when it was a smaller practice, but i guess (in my case) all things change. I sure wouldnt stand for inadequate service though Wheetsin! It is one thing to have to wait longer to get and appointment. It is different when the doc stops reading charts and the nurses and staff do NOT know what they are doing. THAT is cause for alarm. I am glad my doc and his staff still handle things properly even though they have a much higher volume of patients.

Dr. Curry was my doctor! BEST doctor you can possibly ask for... the BEST clinic you can possibly go to you've made a very wise decision! I was banded last December and have done very well! The surgery was a snap. He only took 20 minutes to even complete mine. He is a miracle worker and one of the most personable... caring doctors I've EVER encountered. We have a support group meeting next month on the 11th let me know if you have any questions. Just send me a PM!! --Brandi (in SE Indiana)

I know :-) I LOVE you ladies. I am just as defensive of all of you! I gotchyour backs! Just let me know when I need to throw down! I will be strappin' on the ass kickin' boots! You mess with one of us... you messed with ALL of us! haha Booboo made me smile... she is such a doll. thanks for being so wonderful -- ALL of you! You've successfully defended my boobs' honor! ha

I have been in such a rut the past three months. Losin! I understand too. It is so hard when you are feeling better... like Wheetsin said, you are satisfied yet, but you are feeling better and NO it is NOT getting easier... it just gets harder and harder to get off the lbs. I've been there lately too. I am so glad to know that there are other out there that slow down like I have. Glad because I know that eventually I WILL keep on moving if I just stick with it! No girl. dont beat yourself up. you are perfectly normal and sounds just like me. Some days I get so tired of trying and seeing no results... I think being pissed off and "lost" along the way is part of the process. Like the other girls said... just focus on eating good food... but healthy food. Dont gain... and the mind set will come around for us again! We just have to be patient... that is key. and "patient" is the part i have trouble with. I want it all done "now" too Thanks for making me feel better Wheetsin!

I'm ok... promise.

oh, its ok girls!! :-) no harm done. I just never get any comments from anyone on that thread. When I post... it goes dead silent for days and nobody make a peep about my pictures. Except you girls from here that already know me.(of course) :-) Yeah (i know they probably meant well) but the only 'outside' comment I got was kind of back handed. It just leaves me wondering thats all. aside from my girls (which is kind of like talking to my family) -- no one else seems all that impressed God knows I'd love to fix all my faults but I just don't have the money to think about plastic surgery. I am lucky to pay my bills right now. I am still trying to lose weight. Not fix my boobs... I didn't think they were all that bad. 90 lbs was missing and they wanted to comment about my bra? Alot of muscle toning went into making those girls look decent again. I was hoping to leave a different impression than that. :-( thats all. (sigh) It wasn't just the bra doing all the work. I DID all that... the punks! Don't worry BOOBOO! I'm ok. I LOVE you thought honey for sticking up for me.. haha (big hugs). I will just hide here with my girls from now on... :-) LOVE YA!

It offical. I'm not posting pics anywhere but here and yahoo. there are some idiots on this website.

My doc just says no food for two-four hours before... the pouch will be cleared out by the time you do the fill.

OMG momma's! just saw the yahoo photos! Bannannie! you look amazing! great job girl! Put that hot mamma in YOUR little hot car and i can totally see why you are stopping traffic. I put the two pics from the mirror up next to each other. The change is dramatic girl! i am so impressed with what you've accomplished! Nat! WOW :cool: I can totally see the difference in you arms... your BACK especially... look at the change in your posture! That booty is still fabulous even though it is TOTALLY shrinking... it is gonna still be a damn nice one even at goal! i am totally jealous of THAT. You are such a tinier version of the first picture!! Oh, and that baby boy of yours is just as cute as a button too! congrats girl. You are kicking asses and taking names! Steph! WOW girl... BIG change since the last pics! You are shrinking away too! I am so impressed! I see why you are fitting into the girls clothes. you look years younger too! I can't believe the difference. You can totally see the effort you are putting in. Booboo - my work server won't let me see your pics yet. So, i will comment on them when i get home. I am totally wanting to see what they look like though!

Aww, sweethot & nat & transformer thank you girls for the compliments :cool: but underneath all of my clothing is some interesting "stuff" -- I don't think I qualify for skinny biznitch any time soon. Maybe I should get brave and post some pics on yahoo in a bathing suit or something. Then, you all will know what Im talking about. I am not crazy I swear. It is still all there and it still looks horrible. I still have a big hanging tummy -- my inner things wibble and wobble... my arms and back still have fat there. My butt... well, i have no butt! ha. TRUST me... I just cover it all up very well. I still have a good layer all over that can come off. No "crazy head" here. It is definitely still hangin on me. I joke about the "size 4 pants" -- They are NOT REALLY a size 4... (except on the tag) No freakin' way. I am an 8 or a 10 depending on the pants. I wear large and medium tops now. I think Nat asked that. My top half has always been the problem. I looked like a damn linebacker! my shape was an upside down triangle. A great shape if your in the NFL... not so much on a young woman. ha. ----------------- ok, confession... ive been doing awesome the last week. Even lost a couple of lbs (according to the home scale) BUT on sunday, we went out to this amish town to shop. So, I'd been so good all day that I decided I would have ice cream cone with the family. No big deal right? Well, it shouldn't have been. BUT I went to my parents and they had those Reece's Penut Butter Pumpkin things... Ugh. Well, I ate one... then, i ended up eating 3 more of them before the day was over. Cute huh? just goes to show how much of this whole experience has REALLY been my willpower and not the band. i could have been doing that all along if it wasn't for my own will not to. It is almost that time of the month. I would love to blame the craving on that, but it was just me pigging out on something that tasted like freakin' heaven. Oh well, I am going to go back to being good today BUT damn I don't even want to try to enter all of that into fitday. I am liable to have a heart attack when I see how many calories I consumed. I haven't had a day like that EVER. I sure hope one day can't hurt you that much. I ate like a whale. All liquids that went right down... but I ate the hell out of them. Ugh :faint: ------------------- ok, off to check out the new yahoo pics! kick my ass for me ladies... God knows I am kicking my own today. I will have to jump on that elliptical for 2 hours tonight. or make that 3 hours... damn reece's cups! you are the DEVIL

thanks for the encouragement ladies... its been almost 3 months since I lost a damn thing. I did my same work out tonight... weights, ab works... walked a mile -- 30 min on the elliptical. UGH - im tired. it is almost 2am... must go to bed. thanks again you guys. only 30 or 40 more lbs to go!