beversman

Booboo - You know, that should be my number one SIGN. If I have to ask advice on a situation... from this many people.... because i am UNSURE... then something is definitely wrong! Otherwise, I would have just went to meet the guy and not had so many doubts. I need to learn when to listen to myself. I am getting better though. i am learning Ironically enough, my marine called me last night... We talked for hours. We had a misunderstanding about 3 weeks ago (well, it was totally ME who misunderstood). But I found out that I was very wrong about something and Mr. Marine was patient and sweet enough to want to get me straightened out. So, I think that it was definitely good that i never went and met this new guy even to talk... even as just a friend. I was supposed to be home last night to get that call from my real friend, and I got alot of things cleared up with him last night and to be honest... would much rather have talked to him on the phone than been out having coffee with the new guy. So... Thank you God for playing interference! well played, sir... well played! i see where you were going with this one big guy... and I like it! ha. Lesson learned I don't think ANYONE should let me out into society.. haha, i have no idea what to do with all of this new attention and all these men that just keep popping up. :phanvan It is sooo hard to weed through them and find a good one that is even worth TRYING to get to know And the creeps are popping up ALL THE TIME! It is like they can sense that I am vulnerable and don't know what I am doing. Like wolves circling an injured deer... SCARY It was so much easier to hide in the background, when they didn't notice me, and NOT have choices to make! haha. How ironic is THAT? Easier is not always better though... (sigh) I need a course in dating 101! I have so little experience and this is confusing.

Oh, I am surprisingly ok -- disappointed, but like I said... also relieved!?!? That was an emotion that shouldn't have been there I don't believe. i think deep down as much as I wanted to grasp at straws... it wasn't the right thing to do :confused: I was right to begin with. I am better than what he had to offer I know that. I am worth a full chance. There are lots of really nice guys in the world. This one is just not my nice guy... and i am ok with that. So, that tells me things worked out as they should have. Lesson learned... thank you God for your sneaky, throat-scratching powers... heh! You saved me yet again.

Well, ladies, I got stood up... basically. We weren't supposed to meet till 5:30pm but he just called to tell me he is sick and can't make it tonight. (voice in my head says "yeah, right...") Ok, ok... so he is sick... i could tell by how he sounded on the phone. His throat sounded awful. Whether it is just convenient timing or not still remains to be seen. i sure feel like I just got stood up though... of course since, i went through all the trouble of deciding to actually go for it. haha... I suck at life. I pretty much told him that was cool, that I had other things to do anyway… I certainly didn’t want to look like I was disappointed. Even though I am… I am kind of disappointed and relieved.. -- I was so nervous. This is God’s way of saying… “Ok, Brandi look…I tried to let YOU make the decision. You messed up yet again and were going to actually consider hooking up with this guy. So, I had to smite him down with an airborne disease to stop you. You could have made this so much easier you know... if you’d have just said 'no' like you were supposed to. P.S. don’t forget my birthday… Jesus out”

(sigh of relief) ok, i feel a bit better knowing that I am not alone with my "train of thought" UGH, i am super nervous though :eek: and excited -- and scared! ha. thank you ladies for your thoughts on this... I don't have many people to bounce my ideas off of... you've helped my brain calm down a bit luv ya! you are right though... it is only because he DOES seem like a super nice guy and he IS so incredibly honest that I am tempting fate like this. I guess I just have to decide if it is worth the risk of getting to know a great guy. Six months is a long time in some ways and short time in others. I am such a firm believer that there are no coincidences in life. We have similarities that neither one of us can dismiss. It just seems like we crossed paths for some reason. I guess I just have to decide if I am brave enough to try to figure out why. I don't like to wonder "what if" (and THAT curiosity is also how i end up learning soooo many hard lessons too ) If he will at least say... "we will see what happens" (instead of eliminating the possibility completely) that is all I really need to hear. No one can offer more than that up front. Ok. STEP #1 -- I guess I am going to have coffee tomorrow

sweethot - that was kind of what i was thinking... I know his tune would be different if his break-up was not as recent. I just don't know whether I should wait for his view to change to something a bit more optimistic, or if by waiting... I could be missing an opportunity. (I just hope it isn't wishful thinking.) We are just having coffee at a StarBucks. So, I think I will go ahead and go say hello. You will all be here to help me kick my own butt if/when I figure out that I made the wrong choice yet again.

Hey you guys! talk to Bannannie! She is doing great. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since her lower body lift! She is still at her mom's and says her tummy is swollen but flat as can be! They took off 22 LBS! I told her to quit lurking and get back here to us. I hope she doesn't mind me telling you all but I KNEW you were probably all wondering and worried about her too! I just wanted you to all know she is doing GREAT! Nikki -- so glad to see you back! hope that new laptop comes soon -- so glad to hear our little band baby is doing so well too! Cant wait to see the pictures! Sounds like you are going to have your hand even more full very very soon! Booboo and Faith! UGH to the snow! i agree ladies. We acutally didnt get that much here, but it was just enough to be an pain in the butt and that is more annoying than getting enough to enjoy it. boo at least I dont have the kids there driving me up the wall (hugs) hopefully they will be back to school soon! haha, even though I know you love 'em... they can drive you nuts some days I am sure! SweetHot - so glad you had fun in Rome! I am still jealous of all your travels And thank you for saying I am strong and self respecting BUT I am the one going to meet him Tuesday night. This song and dance is not yet over. I am trying to decide wether I am calling him to cancel or going through with this inital meeting It is hard since I know what he is thinking deep down. Boo -- THAT is the problem with this guy. I think I would spend the next 6 months THINKING he might not leave. If I really liked him, and he did up and leave anyway. I couldn't take that over again. of course... who knows what he may be thinking in 6 months. I may be ready for him to go and HE may NOT want to leave. Ugh so confusing....

Shelia - I tried to PM you but you have that feature turned off You are more than welcome to try to join in here. There are other threads that you can find which will also have people that had surgery the same month that you did. It is nice to talk to people when they are going through the same experiences. Here is the Oct '07 one October 07 Bandsters - Lap Band Talk Forum - The largest forum for Lap Band Surgery Discussion and Lap Band Surgery Support But you are more than welcome to ask us anything you like! Welcome to band-land!

Ugh, ok... so the nice new inteligent, single... writer/farmer guy I met. Well, he just dropped the bomb shell that he is moving in 6 months. and he just got out of a 7 year relationship. So, basically all he wants is something fun and sexual for the next 6 months and then he is out of here. He said he only is telling me this because he likes me so much... and feels he needs to be up front. But that he isn't emotionally ready to "like" anyone, but he has physical needs and he is attracted to me on all levels. Ugh... not fair. I told him well... I feel I that I am a woman that is worth getting to know and I feel I would be selling myself short if i agreed to a realtionship with an "expiration date." He said "I understand" (footnote to all of you) ***Sadly, I am secretly considering it. (i know stupid) I am so diappointed. I really thought that, although I wasn't looking, that maybe some nice guy had found me. BUT No, it was just the same typical guy that you find at the bar at the end of the night... disguised as an intellectual, man interested in my mind. It isn't fair. We have sooo may things in common and he is so honest and nice and wonderful and up front. I totally understand where he is coming from because I've been there with my stupid EX... I just don't think I should put myself in a situation where I could potentially end up falling in love with this person when i know he is already check out of this place and won't return the feelings. I wish I could just have a great 6 month realtionship and THAT would be it. But I know me. I get attached, and if I already have a connection with this guy that would allow us to have this kind of conversation now. I would just be waiting the next 6 months for him to change his mind and offer something he has openly said he "can't offer right now." (then that little voice chimes in that says "dont you deserve more than that?") What do you guys think about all of this? I agreed to have coffee with the guy on Tuesday evening, but am I just playing with fire and setting myself up for certain disaster? I would love to have a new friend, but I don't think it is safe (to my fragile mind) to offer anything more than that. Part of my brain is screaming, he doesn't value me much as a person if he only think I am worth a trivial 6 month fling... no matter how fun it may be. Part of my brain says, he is telling you the same thing you told other people 6-8 months ago... he is human and hurting from a bad break up. At least he respected me enough to be completely honest like that and tell me everything so up front. I need your opinions ladies... back off completely? go for it? I just don't want to miss out on a chance to get to know someone just because we are both jaded from our past relationships. A new friend at least? Of course, there are other men in the world... there was just something about this one that strick a chord. However, it wouldnt be the first time I was wrong. Ugh, what to do...

WOW bk!!! :huggie: you sexy mamma! you look awesome! (I love the new hair-do too!)

Claud - so sorry about the job honey!! dont give up. More will come along. I know you are still going to be diappointed for now, but it is only a matter of time. We all know what a wonderful smart woman you are... You will soon find the position that you are truly looking for I just know it! -------------- Well ladies. All hell is about to break loose here :Banane20: Weather wise that is! We've dodged the bullet here for the last week. But SE Indiana is about to get a good dose of Ice and Snow... starting in about an hour and continuing straight through sunday night! So, I will maybe try out some sled riding for exercise tomorrow.

hello ladies... just stopped to say hi. Steph - ugh, ice... so glad we are just getting rain here. Not that I really have anything to do, but I hate driving in that stuff. I think we are supposed to get a pretty good snow storm this weekend though. Vaband - good luck with the fill. and have fun at dinner tonight it is so fun to talk to other people that have had the same experiences. i went to a support group meeting and stood in the parking lot talking to the ladies for another 2 hours after the meeting let out! ha. We were having a blast comparing stories Story Time! So, I had a couple new friends over yesterday. and I have a before and after picture on my background on my computer. the "after" was covered up (by another window) and there was this OLD picture of me and my heaviest... the guy was looking over my shoulder and said (very innocently) "Is that your mom?" haha. I about died. I laughed and said "no" and then showed him the after (and explained that it was me). He just about freaked out. Wow! I am sooooo glad that is NOT me anymore. I hadn't had that reaction from anyone until yesterday! ha. so I thought I would share.

Awesome, i am so glad someone else has had good results... with something similar. As of yesterday, no one had responded on here, so crossed my fingers and just went ahead and ordered the thing last night anyway! So, I am REALLY glad to see a good comment about them. I think it looks like a great alternative if you don't have $300-$400 to spend on a bodybugg. I will let everyone know what I think about it and how it works!

:clap2: Happy Bandiversay STEPH!!!! :clap2: BooBoo - i hope you get to feeling better soon I have you in my thoughts honey. Only a week till the tests are done. At least that will be one less thing to worry about.

Claud!! hahah, Your bother is reading my stories?? haha! how funny Well, I am glad that he gave me the compliments too tell him I said "thank you" I am glad you passed on the message. I write like that all the time. I can write pages in the matter of minutes. It is ridiculous. I have a couple book ideas of my own that I need to get working on to be honest I am always writing something. thanks for making me laugh and smile! So glad your dad is doing so much better I've been thinking about him and had him in my prayers! Vaband - good luck on the fill! I just got my tree up yesterday too. It made me much happier and in the christmas spirit. Watch out for that bad weather! That ice has been nasty! Sweethot - have fun in ROME! I am sooo jealous of your traveling. I AM going to do it some day! That is a promise I am making to myself. There is alot of this world that i MUST see and i will be seeing it some day! Hope the legs shape up! and NO STILETTOS for you on vacation young lady! hahaha It is 65 degrees here right now! The temperature 2 days ago was 28! What the heck!?!?! I came into work without a jacket on. I had on a winter coat, gloves, and a hat 2 days ago. The weather is messed up!

Well, one more pound gone! :clap2: Not that I am on track to lose all eight (that I want to lose) by the 22nd, BUT I have been giving it hell and trying my hardest. Saw my lowest number ever on the scale this morning 174! (slow but sure) BKwall - Congrats!!! honey, I am so happy for you How is the little one? Steph - haha, I have pictures of you taking that printer outside and chucking it down a hill! Sweet Hot - How are the shin doing? Have you been able to run at all this week? I hate when that kind of thing happens and just throws your exercise off. Stupid Shins! ha you are doing sooooo well with that running too girl! You should be proud of yourself. transformer - Hey!! How have you been!?!? Did you get all those Christmas Cards done?? Wish I wasn't so freaking lazy and had sent some this year like I wanted to, but I didn't. Pretty much too late to try to get it started for this year. I am such a bum! I did get my Christmas Tree up last night. So, I am a bit more in the spirit of the season now!

anybody with an opion at all?? I can t decide if I should buy the thing or not:confused:

I can't afford a body bugg, but I found this handy little number. Water resistant and has a 7 day 10 week memory recall. It is 99$ with free shipping What do you guys think? __________________

I can't afford a body bugg, but I found this handy little number. Sportline® Its a: Watch EKG rated heart meter, (with alarm to keep you in your target zone) Pedometer It tracks: Distance Calories burned Speed It is water resistant and has a 7 day 10 week memory recall. It is 99$ with free shipping What do you guys think?

VABAND - HA! Yeah, I don't like admitting it, but I think I am a little bit. Funny since I am not usually like that at all, but we will see it might wear off in a week. As you get to know more about a person, that sometimes tends to happen. If that is the case, I can always use more friends. Ever since I moved from Indianapolis, I just haven't had too many of them down here. So, it is a plus either way

Happy anniversary Claud!! (and everyone else that I've already missed!!!) We need a list of our surgery dates... there are too many of us for me to keep track of every one. Plus, my memory sucks! Steph - OK, you asked for it. HA! the farmer... haha. Well, he isn't really a farmer. Not anymore, his parents still own the farm, but he is kind of like me -- he just helps out from time to time. He lives in Cincinnati, OH now. So, just like me... he knows all about the farm, but he doesn't have his own. He is a bit different creature than that. So actually he is ALOT like me. (you know) I haven't caught the "interested" bug like this in awhile. But He is very intriguing. We have so much in common that it is almost a bit weird for both of us, but fun at the same time. Um, lets see... he is 31 years old. (so close to my age) Went back to school and works full time. He is part of the Honors program at NKU and is getting his degree in Journalism with a minor is Philosophy. My major was also English and Journalism... I also graduated from my college's honors program. Also, I was a major Philosophy nerd! ha He is a drummer and is into all the of the same crazy music that I am into. He used to be in many bands "back in the day." Although, he is much more tamed down now. He still loves music and attending concerts. Again, you ALL know that fits me to a "T" too. you've seen the pictures of me this summer and heard the storeis. In fact, I own my own drum set (self taught). The farm he grew up on was a tobacco farm... so is my parents. In fact, I had to go move the drum set out of their garage so they could move the tobacco in to strip it... ha. He is extremely attractive... very well spoken. He is extememly intelligent and has an extensive vocabulary. I was hesitant about meeting him at some point and he said "I understand your reticance." Um, who says "reticance" any more ??? haha - i loved it! He is a radio DJ. He has his own radio program that will be going live (with internet feed) through the college. A very deep radio friendly voice... too. ha. So, even though he is quiet and shy... he obviously must not carry that with him to the radio. He is quite the personality there from what I've been told. He seems like a great, nice guy so far. He approached me initally. However, I think that after extensive discussions on literature, and life... he has me a bit hooked. I've been so stand offish with all of these other people that try to talk to me. The poor marine took 2 weeks just to get me to answer the phone. This guy already has me looking forward to each email he sends... and has me smiling a bit. Again, if nothing else... I would love to have this educated, well spoken, charming, amusing, interesting, SINGLE (haha), attractive man as a friend. I think that all things have to start that way to begin with... and he seems like he isn't one of those slime-ball creeps at all (that just wants to "hook up" with a practical stranger). He seems genuinely interested in me and my mind. Plus, he loves my glasses and my big curly brown hair... (that always helps) For those of you who want to see what this writer/DJ/drummer/farmer man looks like I will put his picture up on Yahoo because I "stole" it from his myspace page just so you all could see him. I don't want to be posting links for the whole world to go look at this guy. (that wouldn't be very respectful of my new friend). No matter his looks, his personality by far makes him 20X even more attractive. He is very humble and laid back... a quiet, respectful kind of guy. There has got to be something wrong with him! I will keep looking. BUT he is fun to argue literature with! For now, that works just fine for me... and I am also being receptive to his flattering comments. He believes me to be "quite fetching" :heh: (heh) So, I think I've decided that coffee somewhere would certainly not be out of the question.

I have about 4 inches of snow too! I had a snowball fight with the dog. She barked and pulled on my pants legs... and I threw the snowballs at her. She was having so much fun. I had to look like such a dork... haha. I love being a big kid. Steph and Sweethot - I think that is what is really making me hesitate. I REALLY am interested and attracted to this writer guy. So, it isn't like the other day when I knew I was gonna turn the guy down. It is actually someone I am interested in... I think I pick guys that don't have a chance on purpose (before) because they are easy to say "bye" to. When someone who I am attracted to comes along, then I throw up the wall. Backwards isn't it? That is the thing... I would tell ANYONE to give this guy a chance too. i don't know what my deal is. I will just keep talking to him. I think I am trying to ask enough questions that I can figure out what is wrong with him... haha -- poor guy. I suck so much sometimes. I am really, really working on it though. ------------- Still holding strong at 175! 8 lbs 'til I reach the 100lbs LOST mark. Think I can do it by the 22nd?? (my bandiversary) That was my goal I had in the back of my mind all year long. I am gonna work my ass off and see what happens. VAband - congrats on the smaller size! My weight has been stagnate for months and yet my clothes fit differently. Weightloss is SUCH a confusing thing.

Im sending all of my prayers his way Claud... keep us updated!

Steph - well, like I said... these people are friends only. No carefree dating for me just yet because I am too freakin scared to do it. It is nice to have the attention, but my life has not been carefree for one second I really dont know what to do with all of these people. It is a struggle to trust anyone farther than I can throw them. But I am TRYING... I know that I have to get out there and get over my fears and learn how to interact with people again. It is scarier than it is fun right now Booboo - awww honey. Im so sorry. Trust me. I know what you mean about losing the weight and NOT losing the troubles. My life is still very much a mess. I am just trying to get out and learn how to trust and have fun again. I think it sounds much more fun than it really is for me. I like to tell the stories. But I am still not fixing all of the problems that I have in my head. I am trying though. Sweet - haha, yeah... I am a tobacco farm girl. Kind strange to meet another farmer that turned out as weird as I did. I want to go out with him and he asked me, but I am scared to do it. He said he understood and was going to keep right on talking to me til he talked me into it. He is a determined little farmer... wish I could forget about the idiots in my past and just say "sure lets have coffee" - now, im sitting here wondering if he is married and from another country. poor guy, i just want to give him a break, but that is what I did with the EX-husband and look at where that got me. Ugh, the weight is soooo not the problem... now I know my messed up head needs the attention

STEPH - No, I think I put an end to his Polish "lover boy" ways - that and he is back in Poland now. So, hopefully he is with his wife... where he should be! the sexy freak! My Marine called me again this weekend a few times. I hadn't heard from him since before Thanksgiving. His phone apparently had some issues and he had to replace it. I told him all about the idiot Polish man. He said he otta kick that guys ass... ha. I have a feeling that my Marine is gonna end up being just a really awesome friend. He and his brother both are just wonderful, good-natured people to have around watching out for ya. I love them to death. My marine just has too much going on and is too far away to think about anything else. We both have lives to live. ya know? I am ok with that though. He is a great guy. So, glad I've made the new friend. Um, I have another new male friend I've recently made too. I won't go into too many details yet, but he is a graduated from college with honors in English, just like me -- is a writer just like me, same music tastes, same sense of humor, even grew up on a tobacco farm like me. We have a ton in common, but I just met him. So, I will report back in a few weeks to let you know how the new friendship is progressing You can never have too many new, interesting (intellectual) friends. Finally someone to discuss Literary Criticism! :clap2: yeah! (yeah... me = nerd) I saw my lowest number on the scale so far 175! That puts me down a total of 92 lbs. Ive been super strict with my diet again, and the results are finally starting to show. I just have to get my discipline back that I had this time LAST year! I think I will recreate the liquid/medifast diet from now til my December 22nd Bandiversary! Take THAT belly fat! SweetHot - love your NSVs!! hehe, your so funny and so happy you are sticking to the running! you go girl! VABAND - HELL YES! Congrats on the job girl, THAT is the Christmas present you've been looking for! nikki - hope the new computer comes real soon! bkwalling - way to go on the seminar! I would LOVE to go do that. i think I am going to a support group meeting this Saturday booboo - how are those finals coming??

Here is what I wrote back for those of you who want to know. I was nice about it. Not really my place to lecture him, and it is not like he would have listened anyway! :-) So, here is my very nice answer. Szymon, Well, allow me to politely decline. I am a very respectable woman with tremendous amount of class. I could not in good conscience accept your offer... out of respect for both you and your wife. It is too bad that you are married. You were such a pleasure to talk to.... refreshing, confident, very educated, informed. You are very inquisitive and insightful. It was very nice carrying on a conversation with someone that possessed those qualities. I am not sorry I said yes. Just disappointed that I won't have the opportunity to sit and chat with you again. I wish you luck in your search. I am sure if you check out a few local clubs tonight and tomorrow... you will find your type of lucky lady before you leave. She would be crazy to say "no" right? Unfortunately for you, yes, I am crazy. And, the answer is still a firm "no" It was a pleasure meeting you. --Brandi