NJLIZ

I dam near woke up from anesthesia crying. It was embarrassing and strange to me. I dont really ever cry. I cried in front of everyone, I could not compose myself at times. At times people would say it was because "I missed my daugter" or anesthesia while i would quickly blame it there, it was not that. I thought, Jesus Mary and Joseph what have done to myself.. and that feeling stays with me today 5 days out... It is not as persistent and overwhelming, but I am freaking scared and wondering if I am strong enough to loose the weight or I went through all of this for nothing. I was excited about that band and had little fears before hand. It was almost like someone took all my blankie away and I have to try and fall asleep with out for the first time. Crying now... I really did not understand my emotional ties to food until after the surgery. But now they are front and center.

This is such a scary process at times and sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. I am so scared of so many things, not sure if I remember what it is like to be a skinny person... and did I not like something about.... why the hell did i gain all this weight. It is a little crazy this is what I look like. And the worst part is when I do rarely catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror i dont recognize myself because is my head I dont look like this... Anyhow I NEED a buddy, getting banding Oct 26, that is this monday at Jefferson Hosp in Philadelphia, Dr Tchansky is my doctor. I live in South Jersey, 1 kid, and 30 years old , bmi 53, ... Does anyone want to be my buddy? I like to email a lot :thumbup: waverly79@gmail.com

Having Surgery 10-26 that is less then a week now... I am still desperately looking for an email buddy. I need someone just to talk to about this experience and bounce ideas of each other... anyone close to my surgery date PLEASE email me waverly79@gmail.com I am on the 2 week pre op diet and i was doing pretty good... today is bad i lost 8lbs so far... but I am pretty much feeling like i could eat a cow right now. Not sure if i can do this tonight... what really sux is the called the doctor assistant to talk about something with insurance and i said i was really struggling with the pre op diet and she says "Well if you cheat you cheat" with this all relaxed attitude and i am like why oh why did she say that. THat is like a free ticket to cheat. UGH .

I'm just posting the list again since somehow I got left off after putting my name and date on. NJLIZ 10/26 "Hello Everyone...if your name is not here why dont you copy and paste then add your name and date! Happyloser 10/1 bethany329 10/1 Timmers 10/1 Lindac80 10/1 Marfar7 10/1 Ca7696 10/2 Opus03 10/2 RedboneLA 10/3 ihavehope3 10/3 Viking_girl 10/5 leetie 10/7 Jtreece 10/8 MommyOf1 10/8 Suz-Q 10/9 Noodles 10/9 SharPei 10/13 Guy 10/13 Cshytle 10/13 MoniqueD 10/14 Jenfromtheburg 10/14 ncarreras 10/14 angela677 10/15 Kme 10/15 Nooshie 10/15 munkee'smommy 10/15 Oliverdog 10/16 danyett 10/16 We3601 10/19 Onikenbai 10/19 hope2bthinr 10/19 Mzcancer 10/20 Soexcited 10/21 erenstar983 10/21 pina3940 10/21 jenrobbar951 TBA HDmama 10/22 Crazychica133 10/26 NJLIZ 10-26 Idahlem72 10/27 Daria77 10/27 Barley 10/28 4girlfamily 10/29 Tina 10/29"

Im Oct 26, I was really excited, then I started the pre op diet... I am DYING. I am tired and mean!! I started to cry to today because I was just so dam hungry. Taking it minute by minute! :thumbdown:

i had my endoscopy today, more pre surgery testing oct 14 and surgery 0ct 26, I am totally excited and ready. Still looking for some friends I can chat with getting banded this month. Email me waverly79@gmail.com. for easier back and forth.

My date is 10-26-09 starting weight is 363, i dont have to loose weight before surgery, but i have to do a 2 week liquid diet. I am having surgery at jefferson in Philly