I totally understand the feeling of helplessness as far as weight loss is concerned. Even if I lose 20, I know from experience that 30 + is gained and after half a life time, that equals 100 over the "ideal". I am scheduled to be banded 8/25/09 and because of my insurance, I had to begin the 'process' of insurance approval 2/2009. I wasn't sure at the time if I would go thru with it but I didn't want to wait until 2010 and wish that I had already started the ball rolling. Now that I have been approved, and failed to lose weight the last 6 months, I know this is the right decision. Maybe taking steps towards banding..just in case you decide on that avenue...would help you feel more in control.