lisah25

Yeah, but I think the point is we weren't always married. We were single once, and while perhaps some of us were banded after entering a relationship, we may well have had other topics to have such a talk about. I personally contracted a "social disease" looooong before I met my husband. It's not a big problem, but I had to tell prospective partners before any activity. Believe me, that's not a fun prospect. My take on it is that either it's a short term fling, in which case they probably won't notice or care. Or it's a long term possibility, it's part of who you are and so part of the package. After a few years, everyone has some baggage they drag along.

I think it is worth it, from all I've read and people I've talked to. Hubby's lost about 90 pounds, has about 60 to go. He made a decision that he'd rather lose slower and eat more of what he wants. I don't really agree with that, but it's his body. And he is losing steadily. No major health issues at all, not many minor ones. Biggest problem he's had is overeating, or not chewing, and throwing up what he ate. Too much of that can lead to problems, so he's working on it.

My Dr. told me he wanted me to lose 10 - 15 pounds before surgery. And that if I could do it on my own by two weeks out, I wouldn't need to do a liquid diet beforehand. SO that's what I'm working on.

I think you need to do exactly what feels right for you. We are all so different. I know what you mean about the trying and failing so many times. It's a little hard to hide when the latest diet/lifestyle plan fails. It's just out there for everyone to see. OTHO, I'm not getting any comments like "are you sure you are ready for such a step". My family and friends know that I've tried pretty much everything and have really struggled.

NWWLS in Everett Wa. Dr. Montgomery, he banded my DH two years ago. You are in Canada?

LOL- Now there is a response.

My response is just for me, it's how I feel, and I don't mean to say I think anyone else should feel this way. That said, I don't think I could sleep with someone who is that unaccepting of WLS, and by extension me for having it. It's not about my body so much, but about who I want to be with. Now, maybe it is easy for me to talk, I'll Celebrate my 13 anniversary next week. But I was almost 30 when I got married, and I had a past. I got passed over a lot, it's tough. I had one blind date set up, he just happened to drop by my work to visit his buddy(yeah, right) and gee, after that the blind date just never happened. I felt invisible for years, and I too think of myself as a pretty, but fat, girl. I even dated a guy once who liked big women, well at least in private. In public he'd barely acknowledge me. Then I met my husband. Who thought I was pretty too. He wasn't into big women as a rule, but we clicked. He thinks I'm sexy now, and he mainly supports me in the surgery because he knows I'll feel better. I actually wonder how he'll feel about me smaller, I've gained some weight since getting married, but not that much. Interesting thread.

No kidding - me too. I think having all that stuff in order might be comforting. One less thing to worry about. So, I need to take a look at my stuff!

LOL-yep, exactly what I was thinking. I've got them by type and size. Ebay is great. I've bought a few things there, and sold a lot.

We have the same surgery date!

How cool that you are doing this together! In a real way, you are starting a new life together, and a healthier one at that! I agree about having hope again. I've done a little nesting. Got my list of what I want on hand post-surgery, got a bunch of movies and books lined up. Surgery is on a Thursday, DH is off that day, Friday, and then it's a long weekend, so he'll be there for 6 days with me. I've gone through the pile of clothes in the back bedroom, that I tossed there in disgust as things got too small, and organized them all in nice little plastic tubs. I'm looking forward to wearing them again.

I'm not at all nervous, just so anxious I can't hardly wait. It can't get here soon enough!

I would just smile, and say "Thank you for your concern, but I'm doing very well." And just keep smiling. Don't argue, don't open a door for further discussion. If they are really pushy, you can say something about having the band is a learning curve, and you are always learning more about what it means.

Forgot to say where I heard - my DH's aunt had a friend who got one. He was researching having a gastric bypass but after looking into it, we decided the band was a better choice.

I'm wondering, based on comments in another thread, how we all heard about the band?

I'm pretty outgoing, and have told my family, friends and co-workers. I wonder, how many of us heard about banding from someone who had it done, or knew someone who did?

Wow Marc, what a moving post. I think I can relate to the facade you mention. I think it's common for those of us with weight problems. In my case, it's been thinking that I don't have a "right" to be upset or have problems with my weight, I mean after all I did it to myself, right? I could fix it if I really wanted to, right? My mom has asked more then once if she did something wrong, that made me be heavy. Which contributed to my thoughts that all I struggled with in my body was someone's fault. Mine. At least that's how I felt for a long time. I've began to realize that I have a medical issue. How I got here is only interesting in how it can teach me to leave. I'm getting treatment. I've found this board to be a huge support. I've learned a lot from reading here.

LOL-DH and I both do that stretching out the shirt thing. We call it the "Val stretch", named for the friend who showed it to me.

Wal-mart, Target and Ross are among my favorite "Cheaper stuff" stores. I LOVE clothes, so am going to have to work on just having enough that fit at any one time, and not buy a lot along the way. E-bay can also be a good source, for brands you know. For example, I know my size in Avenue stuff, and have gotten some good deals.

I was the SO two years ago. I was a wreck on surgery day, wasn't a big fan of the whole idea, but as you can see I've gone from that to anxiously awaiting my own surgery. As far as dealing with someone you love have this surgery, info helps me. So I researched it, knew the pros and cons.

DH had two good WOW moments just today. One was overhearing a cousin at a family function describe him as "that really tall guy. He used to be big but he's lost a lot of weight". Another was my mom telling him that my brother, who lives in another state, didn't at first recognize him in pictures she was showing him.

My WOW moment right now is realizing that the surgery is going to happen.

Oh man, that put tears in my eyes! That is WONDERFUL! :clap2:

What I'm being told about about diet after healing from surgery is that I should focus on eating good Protein, lower fat and such. Along with veggies and fruits. A few carbs here and there, but not many. And whole-grain if possible. I'm also told no liquid calories. So, from that I wonder if the problem is that you are eating higher fat, carb foods like pizza and spagetti, along with the Protein shake that doesn't stay with you as long as solid food? I've been told that along with eating less, making good and healthy food choices is important.

YES - ask a ton of questions! How cool that you and your wife are doing it at the same time, you can be good support for each other. My story starts about 2 1/2 years ago. When our doctor told my husband that if he didn't lose weight, he wouldn't see 50(He was 40 at the time). He suggested we look into WLS. I was totally against it, the idea scared me too much. Our insurance would cover only the Gastric Bypass, so we went to meetings and worked on getting him approved for that, I dreaded him actually having it. In that process, his aunt heard about lap-band surgery, and convinced us to attend a seminar. We did, and after that and a lot of research decided it was the best option for us. We arranged a home equity line of credit and set it all up. On his surgery day, I was a wreck. I was so sure something bad would happen, but he came through with flying colors. Recovered well, and although there has been a learning curve, he's done good. I didn't start thinking about having the surgery myself for maybe a year. Then I realized I wanted it, but insurance still didn't cover it, so I told myself it was out of the question, we couldn't afford another self-pay surgery. But it was in the back of my mind all along. We were in Hawaii in May this year, and one day I was walking up the stairs to the condo behind him, huffing and puffing and cursing the lack of an elevator under my breath when he turned and said, "I want you to have the surgery". We hadn't talked about it before, but I knew in that moment we would figure out a way to make it happen. And we did, I'm scheduled for 8/31 and I'm SOOOOOOOO excited about it. Yes, I know it's not a miracle cure. I know I still have to work at it. But I feel hope for the first time in years.