dawnydoright

OhJuly, and everyone else - thanks soooo much for these posts! I have been lost for months now and now have gained almost 20 lbs. I seem almost determined to sabotage this and I don't know why. I'm frustrated and angry with myself and now am fighting against a nagging depression. I just want this to work. It leaves me feeling like such a failure. Although I know I need to go back to my surgeon, I'm ashamed to. He's been very patient with me and has tried everything, but I know the problem is with me, not with the band. I feel like I should be able to do this, and I just can't. After reading your posts, I do feel more motivated to at least TRY! A little at a time. I"m thinking of going back to the very beginning starting with liquids, mushies, etc. just so I can behave like a bander and know that it's still there trying to work with me. But then I worry that I would be going to far doing that, that it would only allow me to "cheat" and give up. I don't know, but I know I have to do something. We're rounding back to the holidays again and that is unnerving to me too. But my 3 year anniversary is in March and I just want to see some progress by then. I want to see myself at least back to where I was way back when. I'm just going to try! Thanks you guys. I want to keep eachother posted on this journey. It means so much to know that I"m not fighting this alone.