whiterabbit

Nope, just decided to do it the hard way with lost of working out. So far so good

not upset in the least As for my doc being rushed. i saw her once for 45 minuets then the second time for almost two hours. she was not rushed she denied me and said i needed medications before she would approve me to manage my bi polar disorder. even with a sterling letter of recommendation from my reg doc (who i see every month and helps track my mental health) the shrink would not approve me.

I am sorry but nothing and i repeat NOTHING is worth loosing who you are. I lost a year and a half of my life on those medications. i would rather go through the pain of loosing weight the hard way than become a medicated zombie. I tried battling my mental disabilities their way and it did not work. meditation, talk therapy, diet changes and monitoring the things that set off my ups and down works and I have been well balanced and had a very positive and productive life since dumping that poison down the toilet and taking control of my life. I may not drop weight left and right but I am loosing at a healthy pace and that is good enough for me. I don't care about skinny, I care about healthy. i had my teens and 20s as a skinny sexy little thing All I want now is to get my BP down, make sure my heart and mind are healthy and set a good example for my children. In a way I am kind of glad this happened. It helped me (once again) find the inner strength to get up off my ass and do something about something in my life I did not like. I did not like meds, i did something about it. I did not like smoking, I quit. I do not like being fat and I am working my butt off to loose the weight. I am sure in the long run I will achieve my goals as I always have by busting my hump.

I did not pass LOL. I knew I was not going to but I was hoping. I was told that I needed to see a shrink on a reg basis and that the person giving me the eval did not approve or meditation and talk as a good enough treatment for bi polar disorder. So no good eval no lap band. I flatly refuse to take pills ever again. I lost 1.5 years of my life in a drug induced haze because of shrinks and medication. I missed my son's first words, first steps and goddess only knows what else. I am just working on loose weight the hard and painful way with working out.

I found out today that since my issue is not centered on food I might be able to for go the 6 month diet. I have documented proof of a non successful diet and work out plan. With my PCP, Endocrinologist, Nutritionist and Banded surgeon all are going to write up documentation to press for hormone therapy and banding to counter act the years of medication.

I am loving my slap chop! It breaks the foods I eat into small pieces making them banded portion prefect. I was worried it would be a crap product but i LOVE it! Slap Chop:thumbup: + Magic Bullet:thumbup: = SWEET!:thumbup:

So I had my 3 hour appointment with my nutritionist on Saturday. We went into every aspect of my life from stress to food and exercise to sex life. She was easy to talk to, tough and funny. After looking at everything she told me what i have been dying to hear for years.... its NOT my fault. I ended up crying my eyes out for 15 minuets. For so long I have been telling doctors that 150 of these pounds are NOT my fault. Was I over weight before hand... yes about 50 pounds but no one would listen when i said all the meds and the depo I had been on. They just saw a fat girl and assumed I was hiding a food issue. I showed her a months of documented food and exercise. While I am elated that someone one has finally listened to me I am scared because she informed me that it will make my fight to loose weight even harder. My entire chemical make up is fed up because of what I took when i gained all the weight. So now I have to trust another set of doctors who will be treating my hormonal imbalance along with me getting banded. Being banded will help jump start positive chemical changes in my body. Hearing it will be more work only makes me more determined. now i know 100% what I am fighting and im ready to kick fats ass! I might not have done this to myself but its up to me to fix it and I will! FULL SPEED AHEAD!:thumbup:

Wow that was a little uncalled for. :thumbup: --------- MrMom, All you can do is be a living example. Your wife is an adult and you can not do this for her. Just remember to stay positive. I know it will be hard not to get frustrated with her when she complains of falters but be there for her as best you can. No one can make her loose the weight and stay on track but her.

Someone tell me it is not a bad sign that after your shrink eval you hear "yeah... I am going to have to ask that you come back and see me next week"?!?!?!?! I think I nearly gave my shrink a stroke with my family background *snickers* I warned her it was going to be a bumpy road. I am simply hoping it was the lack of time. I felt like she was kind of rushed. When I got there the ladies at the desk were on the phone kind of frantic talking to someone. How long are evals supposed to take? Someone told me they can be up to 2 to 3 hours and mine was barely 45 minuets. The shrink also said she would not charge me for the return visit.

Thanks for the info guys. i feel a lot better about it now :smile2:

So I found out that ontop of 6 months for a wait (still up in the air) i will have to do a 2 week pre op diet. I was dreading the liquid diet but I fould out today that my doc uses a 'no carbs' diet. I actually stood up at my desk and did a little dance *lol* So I am basicly on the Atkins diet for two weeks. We talked over my chemical imbalance issues (me being bipolar) and I will have to take a Vitamin regiment ontop of what i already take to balance things out. Between the vegetables and meat list i am good to go.

So I have been reading that the day of your surgery you should only have a few sips of water or suck on ice. If this is the case i fear I am going to have some serious dehydration issues. I take two BP meds and they dry me out like mad. I drop a butt ton of water a day and am always thirsty. Anyone have any advice? as a small side note... I was told no pineapples post-op NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :thumbdown: *shrivels up and rocks back and forth* my crack... i'll miss my fruit crack! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Ah the test is a piece of cake. The worst part is the goop they put in your hair to put the probes on. My attendant was super cool and even watched a bit of TV with me while I had a late supper and put all my fears at ease. The sleep center I went to was in a nice upscale hotel so everything was plush and it felt more like a vacation that a sleep study. The only down side was I do not like to sleep alone. Having breathing issues and having sever asthma like i do sleep time is stressful without my Hubby near by. The woman who set up my appointment never informed me that my husband could have come with me and slept in the same bed with me for the study. Instead we chatted via IMs while playing World of Warcraft online until I had to go to bed LOL All and all it was not that bad.

I have my clearance from my cardiologist as well as my pulmonologist (i have a heartmumer). As far as education goes I have been going over things with my doctor for almost two year now. My first visit to my lap-band doc was actually pretty amusing. When he asked me what I knew and how I have been getting prepared his jaw nearly dropped. I told him "You are going to be cutting into my body like I am not going to know all the ins and outs long before i come and see you." I have been working on eating and not drinking for about 4 months now and rarely slip. I have really worked on chewing my food more and even (with the ok of my PC DOc) did a liquid diet just to see if I could pull it off. I am ready to go so the thought of waiting 6 months makes me want to pace like a caged tiger. If I do have to do the entire 6 months I am sure I will find a positive spin on it and find a way to pass the time in a positive manner. :bored: susi1662- I wish i could exercise. I had a good flow going but when we moved a few months ago i hyper extended my left knee and other than swimming I am grounded. It is very frustrated

So I found out yesterday that all of my band will be covered 100%. Good news yes but sadly I have to have 6 months of doc reviewed weight loss. I am crossing my fingers and hoping my constant contact with my PCP for over 2 years will be enough. Every visit we went over my diet and work outs. If it does count then I should be banded as soon as next month. The second I found out my husband's insurance might cover things I ran out and got my EKG and sleep study to cut the time down. My doc's notes were delivered on Friday so I should know by the end of this coming week what I have to do. Man I am so bouncy I feel like i am going to jump out of my own skin! :bored::wub:

I am really worried about taking my meds as well. Most of my pills are very small but the vicodin pills are huge.

I am scared ot death of my eval. Being Bipolar I do not want my mental issues to be the blocker to being able to get banded.

I knew that to loose weight I would have to learn not to let other things rule my life. My advice to you is stop... just stop. No gum, sprays or gimics. Look at yourself in the mirror and decide what you want. Being healthy is not just loosing weight. I have been done with the smokes for 1 year as of yesterday. I was a smoker from 13 to 36 up to two packs a day. I have 3 kids and every time i found out i had a life inside of me i quit only to start up again. This time I had decided that if i was going to get healthy weight wise I had to work from the inside out. I tossed my smokes and never looked back. Sure it was hard and it SUCKED putting myself into situations I KNEW would make it hard. Going to the bar and having a few drinks with my friends, camping, Sci Fi conventions and for an entire year I refused to give in. A year later I feel like a million bucks and quitting smoking has lit the fire that is allowing me to let nothing stop me when it comes to my weight.

Jabba- I am right there with you! I got sick and tired of my life revolving around drugs. I decided to make myself better and not rely on drugs to dictate my quality of life. It is a struggle but it is well worth it. My doctor had me on so much crap I can not remember a year and a half of my life. I "went under" 190 pounds and came out nearly 300. I dumped all that crap in the can and have not looked back since. I am a firm believer that medication causes more issues than it solves.

Okay I have to rant a little bit here. I am so sick and tired of people assuming that because I am fat that I have a low self esteem. :tt1: It really rubs me the wrong way for others to simply assume what my body image is. I guess its more of a question that a rant. Why do YOU think that people believe that way? Do you believe that way and if so why?

Jachut- I might be lacking in a lot of arenas but confidence is not one of them. I am a alpha to the core without a submissive bone in my body. My hubby is the "poor white boy" that grew up in a poor area in the south. he grew up with the girls around him being shapely " bootylicious" girls. Big butts, big thighs and big boobs are his "thing". I have several over weight friends who suffer from a host of issues most of them being a very deep sense of self loathing and confidence issues. While they might be the size my husband love they are far and away from the type of personality he is used and is attracted too. ------------------- As far as the hubby being worried about me being too attractive or attractive to other men *lol* that is not even close to the issue. He loves (even now) to go out with me. We dance and he loves to buy me sexy clothing. he is very proud of the confidence his wife has. Maybe its just the Seattle area but even at my size I turn male heads... I equate that more to the confidence i carry myself with more than anything. I talked to my husband about this last night as a matter of fact and he blew me off at first and just shrugged. After we were laying in bed talking about our day i cornered him with it. He is a) afraid of me getting the surgery because of my health issues. when our last baby was born I’m BP went through the roof, they brought in specialist and it looked more like a ER scene than a birthing room. :eek: he is seriously not attracted to the images he sees of me when i was thin and younger. I talked to my general doc today and she said to bring my husband in with me to my next appointment so he can ask questions. Weight loss or no my butt and chest is not going too far. I ended the talk with a "well we can always take my tummy fat and put in my butt." we had a good laugh and I think he feels a lot better about it. I have come to terms with the fact that ia m never going to me the tiny girl i was at 20 (I don't want to be her actually) but I will be a shapely thinner and healthier woman... the same one he fell in love with and has been married to for 12 years. Thank you everyone for the feed back :tt1:

Okay so I need advice. The closer and closer I get to being banded it seems that my hubby is more and more unhappy. He fell in love with me when i was a size 18 (size 32 now) and is a heck of a butt man. He sees pictures of me when i was 145 and build and cringes. He finds the 'skinny' me very unattractive. He understands that I need to get healthy and I try and reassure him that i am not going to look like a Barbie doll ever again (thanks to the birth of 3 kids) but I do not think it is sinking in. He jokes a lot and grabs my tummy and snuggles it saying "i am going to miss you" and we laugh. I am ecstatic to know my husband loves me the:wub: way I am but I have to get healthy. I guess what i need is advice on how to help my hubby through this. I think it is going to be harder on him that it is me poor baby. For the record... my husband has loved me through hell on earth, a lot of pain, my bipolar rage being directed at him coupled with postpartum depression and a host of other things. He is a very attractive, smart and funny man that could have his pick of any woman he wanted. He is a wonderful father and great support and provider, please keep that in mind when you reply.

I am curious what others have been doing to reward themselves for goals met. I have not as of yet been banded however I have made some serious changes to my diet in the past 6 months. I have dropped whites from my diet (white bread, rice pasts). I have started to drink non fat milk and started eating my meals from a smaller plate. A few months ago the local department store started putting out their winter ball gowns. I found myself wandering the isles and window shopping. I decided a month ago to start to get my reward ready for when I reached my finial goal. Every time I get a craving for something I take the amount of money it would cost and put it in a savings account my hubby opened. We have no debit card for it or checks and we do not touch it. Every week I take the money out of the “junk jar” and deposit it in the bank. I am saving for a trip to New York to go and see Phantom with my hubby in the prettiest evening gown I can find. I am thinking two years to complete my goal and saving here and there during that time I will have a wonderful reward for my effort… besides being healthy. Every time I get depressed or feel like I am going to slide I take out the little scrap book I made of the hotel suite I want, the place we want to go for dinner and a host of lovely dresses and shoes and it actually helps. My little present along with the encouragement of my kids and husband have helped me really get ready for what is to come. My daughter is 202 and 5 foot 9 and wants too loose and tone so she can play sports her Senior year. She has agreed to be my work out buddy and it has been great as a motivator as well. We go and ride the sit down bikes for 30 minuets then meet my husband and two younger boys in the pool (at the YMCA) and swim for 45. 20 minuets of laps, 10 of treading water and the rest of “no foot down” play in the deep end.