BethFromVA

I like you! :smile:

Ginger, you hit the nail right on the head. Oftentimes the hardest part of this journey is knowing where we might misstep. I have learned these things from prior attempts at dieting and am attempting to deal with them head on or before they start. When you've been with somebody for 17 years, you know all their idiosyncracies.

But that's what appears to not be noticed in what I said. I never expected him to "diet" with me, exercise with me, or even change what HE does. All I asked is that he not expect me to eventually do what HE wants, i.e. going out all the time or eating that big beef stroganoff he just made. He argued with me that you can get a healthy meal ANYwhere you go if you make the right choices, and I wholly disagreed. The safest thing for ME is to not go out. I never said he can't -- we have foodie friends that he is more than welcome to go out with. But for ME, it's too much of a temptation this early into the journey, and I bow out. That's all I asked of him, was to respect MY boundaries, not change his.

What "truth" did you offer?? I said I am standing my ground and not succumbing to the things he is doing. All you have been is a fuckwad. Why don't you move along.

I'm not. He's a troll who isn't even banded, obvioulsy isn't married or doesn't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, for that matter), and apparently likes to twist things around rather than be of any help or substance. :smile:

Glad to see somebody here got the joke -- unlike our resident troll. :smile:

I wish I could say I thought it was as simple as that. In his defense, I don't believe that's it. I believe it only has to do with him loving to eat out or eat richly and in massive quantities, while I have to be careful of what I eat. That's why I compared it to two alcoholics and one decides to go on the wagon.

You really are thick, aren't you?? Shit, who are you, his mom?

I was being facetious. Good grief, is it a male thing that SO MUCH must be explained with charts and graphs and crayons on paper?? There was nothing mentioned about why I'm married to him or if I love him because my post isn't ABOUT that. It's about being with somebody who is as much a foodie as I ever was but doesn't have the weight issue that I do. I'm making changes, and he's almost acting put out that his eating buddy isn't going along with HIS program. It's frustration. Maybe you've never experienced that. Maybe you haven't been at this long enough, or you don't have somebody you've been with 17 years who can have a tendence to put his wants above your NEEDS. It's not whether I love him or not, this is an issue that I have had with him more than once that has aided me in falling off the wagon. It's like having two alcoholics and one chooses to abstain while the other remains an alcoholic and the change in those people's relationship towards eachother while they try to work out their relationship with alcohol. It's really no different. *Oh wait, I just looked -- hell, you haven't even been BANDED yet, so you have NO idea what I'm talking about. Figures.

Omg, you're right! What was I thinking??? :thumbup:

I won him at the fair and just didn't have the heart to put him in the garbage. :thumbup:

I posted this on my blog, but I thought it might be important to share here because I am sure I am not the only one who is experiencing this: I know I've been raking on DH a bit here, and usually he's a decent guy, but I don't know exactly what's happening here lately. It's either time for a sit-down or to really get this before a counselor to make it a bit more neutral because, frankly, I don't believe he'll see what he's doing. Since the "coming to Jesus" talk we had (okay, I had with him) a couple weeks ago, on more than one occasion he has made some bizarre comment when I've complimented him after making dinner. I'll say, "Oh, the chicken was good," and he'll reply, "Nah, it's okay. It's just food." The first time I asked what he was talking about and he said he needed to look at food as just sustenance and nothing else. Um, that's NOT what I said. What I said was that he lives to eat and makes everything about the food. So that's been going on a few times since that day. Tonight I said that he needs to stop it, to which he replied that he was only being supportive. I said no, what I feel like he's being is mocking, like he really doesn't get this whole thing I'm going through. I said that it's not bad to enjoy what we eat, it's just that he was so consumed with the act of eating that it was wharped. I said that I wished he was as into me as he is into food, and he thought I was being silly. Uh-huh... *eye roll* Another thing that just started on Friday is that I'm getting a blow-by-blow synopsis of the weight HE has lost by virtually doing nothing. I'm exercising four days a week and eating good meals, every meal, and he's lost over 20 freakin pounds by just not eating all the junk after dinner -- in front of me. And again, he attributes it to "supporting me" -- almost like, "Look how I'm suffering for you because I'm losing weight too." Okay, he's lost almost as much as I have, and now I feel like he's crowing about it (his weight has NEVER been discussed before). The problem with DH is, even if I try to discuss it with him, he is totally lacking in personality or person skills (read: he's very immature). He is not always good with other people, and he seems to lack the ability to understand anything or anyone beyond the end of his nose. Compassion is virtually nil. As Jennifer Aniston would say, there's a sensitivity chip missing sometimes. So when you explain something to him that he's doing, he only knows how to deny. Comprehension doesn't seem to be his strong suit -- especially when it comes from me, unfortunately. I always knew he was going to be the hardest part of this journey, but I guess I never realized just how hard. In the past when I was just dieting, he eventually got his way and we'd start back to eating out again, leading to my weight gain. I'm not blaming him, per se, but still -- if I was doing this only own, I'd have done lost it by now, I feel. But now it's as if he's pulling out all the stops. I dunno, maybe I'm just being sensitive or reading more into it than I should, but I'm not even three months into my journey and we've already had waaaay too many conversations over this. I think that's why I spend so much time on LBT and here -- because these are the places I get support, these are the people that understand what I'm going through. I find it sad that I can get that from people I've never met, yet a man I've known 17 years is either so self-absorbed or so clueless that he doesn't get it.

Omg, that's right! No, haven't heard anything, so you didn't miss any results. I hope and pray he got what he wanted.

Ballet??? *shudder* Good thing I never succumbed to that one!

Awww, Plain, you're so nice. :thumbup: That's why we need you around more. Speaking of missing the testosterone, where has Ceradad been?? You've both been missed!

Shush, you -- you show-off! :thumbup:

I guess the only kind words I can offer is -- it will come. I was banded 11/21 and I too can eat more than I'd like, though my portions are at least normal-human sized and not the gargantuan meals I used to eat -- so for me, that's progress. I have already had two fills and will get my third on Monday. I'm hoping I will start feeling restriction too (I had a bit after my second, but it's already "loosening up"), but like has been mentioned, I will then have to start paying attention to HOW I eat because I know I don't chew, chew, chew as I should. I guess one good case of PBing will learn me. :thumbup:

You don't bring me flowers, you don't sing me love songs...

This guy: U.S. District Judge John Roll: Tucson, Arizona: 520.205.4520

Okay, Donna, I joined. Again. Responded to both requests. Tell me if I'm in. :thumbup:

I'm sorry to hear that, Lulu. That's something that scares me a lot -- that "phone call." :thumbup: My mom wrote me yesterday about a neighbor of theirs from when they were in Houston, he was about 83 years old and was married to a woman who has grown kids who don't do jack squat for her and she's bedridden and on oxygen, incontenent, and needs help 24/7. He had nothing of his own, so to speak of, and was doing EVERYthing for her while her loser kids did nothing beyond "borrow" tens of thousands of dollars and nothing much more. Anyway, I guess it had all gotten to be too much and he went outside, sat in his favorite chair on the patio, and shot himself. I'm beyond sad over that, as he was SUCH a sweet guy.

PJTP: Very disappointed right now. I had submitted for a job in a different location (same employer) and just got a call, and they're wondering what I'm applying for. One of the two supervisor positions, I say. Um, what supervisor positions, she replies. Seems the intranet site that had job postings must have had a hiccup or glitch or simple operator error (on the website's side) because these jobs don't exist. I thought I was losin' my ever lovin' mind until she said, And the person you sent it to hasn't been here in some time. Then I KNEW I saw it, because it's a strange name. Friggin glitches... :thumbup:

Glad to be of service. :thumbup: If it wasn't for his proclivities for young boys, you'd be right on track.

None of this applies to these mongrels: civil rights A broad range of privileges and rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution and subsequent amendments and laws that guarantee fundamental freedoms to all individuals. These freedoms include the rights of free expression and action (civil liberties); the right to enter into contracts, own property, and initiate lawsuits; the rights of due process and equal protection of the laws; opportunities in education and work; the freedom to live, travel, and use public facilities wherever one chooses; and the right to participate in the democratic political system.

Shoot them. Then they can't sue. Problem solved.