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When I was younger, I could eat anything and never gain weight. I haven't always been big. I tried all ways to lose weight. 5 years ago, I watched what I ate and exercised. I got down to 310. I was on what some people would call the " broke" diet. I lost a lot of weight because I wasn't eating right. As soon as I got a better job, I started eating more, not better. I gained 90 pounds. Then the pandemic happened and I was sent home to work. I gained 60 pounds in a year and couldn't lose it.
Every doctor I ever had told me I couldn't get the surgery, due to health reasons. Finally I get a PCP this year that suggested it to me. That was in April 2021. I got a referral in a week, went to a seminar and scheduled my first surgeon appointment in May 2021. I fully expected to be told no but the surgeon said I was a good candidate and started the ball rolling.
I have great insurance and didn't need a lot of requirements. Just proof I tried to lose weight supervised, which I had been seeing a nutritionist. Upper endoscopy, psych eval, dietitian appointment, and blood work. I had all that done by July 2021 and got scheduled for surgery August 25, 2021.
I am less then 2 weeks post op and already feel better. More energy, not thinking about food all the time, saving money from not eating out.
My stats are 40 F, 5'10", HW 463 SW 430 CW 410 GW 200
Sent from my SM-G991U using BariatricPal mobile app

I have been waiting 3 years to post this. Today I had my mommy makeover! Breast augmentation and lift, and a fleur-de-lis tummy tuck.

Every so often I feel torn on these forums about my role and what I should say.
On the one hand, I'm a veteran now....and have had success with this whole undertaking that I feel pretty proud of. There are a lot of struggles and things that I can comment about with some hard earned observations and experiences. I can be all.....mentory...and have good mentor-ish things to say to newbies.
Sometimes I feel a responsibility to *provide a good example* and only say things that are in harmony with the bariatric sages...and play the proper acolyte to the Bariatric Authority.
But here's the part where I feel torn.
I also want to tell the truth. I want to be the kind of poster I really enjoyed reading when I was first looking into this crazy ride.
I want to be unvanished, raw and HONEST. Because I value that in people. I value that risk. I value those stories....because sometimes people really need those stories. Even if they're terrible advice and provide a terrible example! Sometimes just knowing someone else....occasionally has a horrible day and eats the entire pack of four Yasso bars....helps you to live your life and forgive yourself.
I want to say: Yes, I drink diet soda. I know it's probably unwise and I also know there's hype about it that's untrue....AND....I know a lot of you drink it, too. And some of you drink real soda.....and will probably rot in hell for it. LOLOLOL
Ya'll won't admit it....but I've seen ya. I've peeked in those windows and I know you do all sorts of awful stuff. You eat peanut M&Ms and drink soda and beer and buy the occasional McDonald's kid's meal and can of Pringles. At Christmas, you cheat. You eat stuff you shouldn't. You ate Halloween candy. Ok, it was just a couple of pieces...but it made you happy.
We're not perfect. We screw up. We make questionable choices. Sometimes regularly. We STILL have unhealthy food moments. We're works in progress.
Can we talk about it as adults...knowing it's a crap example...but also knowing that it's human?
We still do weird assed extreme things in realtion to food.
How many calories in two almonds and one dried cherry? I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN.
How many grams of protien in one pint of donated blood? How many calories do I lose when I menstruate? I had a cold and blew my nose ten times and the internet says snot is made of protien...do I have to up my protien?
I once heard a lady on one of these boards say....she had her Flinstone chewable multi vitamin....for dessert after her meal. And it was delicious. ?
Is it wrong to admit I wanted to slap her?
I'll admit it...I ate a S'more about two weeks after I had surgery. I remember it as the most exquisite thing I've ever eaten...and I nibbled that one little square of heaven all night in front of the fireplace with the Christmas lights on. Licked it, actually. Down to a stump. LOL.
And Yes, ..a part of me is still screaming at myself.....You had a freaking S'more right after your surgery???? What the actual H*ll???!!! What were you thinking? (I lived...crap, I even lost weight to goal...but I commited this food crime. Guilty.)
Sometimes I think we lose our humanity in this environment....because as some folks have noticed, there's a competative thing. Some weird ick factor of needing the best score...the tiniest dinner...the least daily calories. "I'm going to get down to my original weight of 9 pounds 3 ounces if it kills me. Could someone please eat the other half of my lentil? It's too much for me."
And then I think....crap, maybe these folks really ARE as together as they seem and I'm just nutty and disordered and still fighting through this mess everyday three years out...isn't normal...
But then I look at the number of folks who wash out...and think......nope. MOST of us are struggling and screw up. MOST of us continue to screw up and figure it out.
Would be fun to do the research to put an actual number on it....
But I'd bet at least 90% of us...have secrets they would never disclose in a forum like this about one screw up or another.
I think we need a Confession thread. Where correction is not allowed. Where worry and concern (and abject horror) are forbidden to be expressed. Where we can just let that other lost soul know....yep, I licked a S'more, too....you're not alone.
All sins can be forgiven. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Hi Everyone,
I'm 3 days post-op and it's been really rough so far. I've been throwing up constantly. And can't seem to keep anything down. I hate to say it but I'm having regrets about getting this surgery done. It also seems like my family doesn't support me all I've been hearing from them is how stupid my choice of going through with it was. Did anyone else feel this way after?

I questioned myself over whether I'd made the right choice for like the first week or two. I'm a year out now and like most I just wish now that I'd done this sooner. I can't imagine how hard it is to know that you don't have anyone behind you as support, but you did this for YOU! Putting yourself first is a difficult thing to do, but once you're able to get past the first few weeks I believe you'll feel better about your choice. As it stands, I'd call your surgeon about the vomiting issue. You may just need some anti-nausea meds, but better safe then sorry to call them and ask about the vomiting. The difficult beginning will pass! I hope you get to feeling better soon, and I wish you the best in your journey!

I am so sorry you are going through this. Just so you know, is strangers support you! But maybe you should go to your support groups. I’m sure you can benefit from them.

What she said. I definitely had some doubts in the first few weeks, which were very unpleasant. Nearly two years on, I'm thrilled with the decision and also wish I had done it decades earler.

Hi Everyone,
I'm 3 days post-op and it's been really rough so far. I've been throwing up constantly. And can't seem to keep anything down. I hate to say it but I'm having regrets about getting this surgery done. It also seems like my family doesn't support me all I've been hearing from them is how stupid my choice of going through with it was. Did anyone else feel this way after?

Hi Everyone,
I'm 3 days post-op and it's been really rough so far. I've been throwing up constantly. And can't seem to keep anything down. I hate to say it but I'm having regrets about getting this surgery done. It also seems like my family doesn't support me all I've been hearing from them is how stupid my choice of going through with it was. Did anyone else feel this way after?

Hey! My surgery is scheduled for the 24th!!! Hows your per opt diet going? I start mine on Sunday

Disclaimer: this is a long-winded post and could possibly be triggering for some ppl.
As i watched tons..and i means TONS..of youtube videos during my "research" period pre op I heard lots of ppl mention the emotional and mental part of this journey post op. I gathered from those videos that i would probably be dealing with past trauma that needs healing as I lose the weight..uhhh i had no clue though to expect THIS! Does anyone else feel like as the pounds fall off, emotional scars are uncovered and smack u in the face randomly? I'm all about healing and psychology so I'm down for the ride but whew! I had a panic attack today and have cried all damn day, not knowing exactly which trauma i am supposed to be addressing in my mind. I had a nightmare/flashback two nights ago and woke up sweating and crying with a full blown panic attack. Thats not abnormal for me but i typically can identify the trigger and what specific trauma was triggered. I couldnt do that today, and the traumatic event that was relived in my nightmare the other night was what caught me by surprise bc that event always seemed like "just another effed up, unfortunate event" that occured to me as a child..not something i necessarily considered big traumas like my father's death, being homeless and on my own as a child, sexual abuse, etc. I'm 75lbs down, abt 6 months post op now. Everything has been super positive and ive been elated since surgery. All of a sudden tho its like as i lose this weight im on a healing journey of integrating the "little broken me" with the "grown healthy me"..if that makes sense..im a very positive, encouraging person (friends always get onto me for having "rose colored glasses"), but lately i am just floored as im slapped in the face with extreme emotions or memories from the past. This could be unrelated to wls...maybe just typical ptsd...i know we like to connect wls to everything we're experiencing now lol but it makes me wonder..are others experiencing extreme triggers now? As bad as it sounds, its still a very good thing..or is that my "theres always a silver lining" defense mechanism speaking for me? Lol..but seriously i can't even put it into words how extreme the trigger is but also the healing i feel im receiving! I ended up in the bathroom speaking all the things to myself in the mirror that i would speak to a child having gone through the pain i experienced as a child...I was giving myself permission to be happy and feel safe and to embrace all my blessings bc i am worthy and do deserve it.i was telling myself that i am a good girl and that im proud of myself (as i look into my 32 year old eyes lol)..encouraging me to trust myself to protect myself and reasuring myself that ill always be here to show myself the love i deserve etc..it was so beautiful and pure..not conjured up at all.. and i wasn't even "thinking" during all this really...it was just flowing from my heart and was really cool!! For the first time ever, i saw how beautiful and precious and strong i am and meant every word of affirmation i was speaking! It was truly amazing! Again, sorry im so long-winded, but i really wanna know, "is this what ppl were talking abt? Are others experiencing this or is this just a me thing?"
Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

With regard to the depression aspect, definitely talk to your doctor about it if you haven't already started the process for treatment.
As for the weight gain, since today is Friday, why don't you use the weekend to stock up on healthy foods, and make a promise to your self that on Monday you take back your life. You did it before, and you can do it again!
HUGS!!!!!

Before I started my pre-op diet, I purchased a bunch of sample sizes of protein powder (different brands and different flavors). It helps to get a little variety when that's all you can consume!
Also, try to stay out of the kitchen and avoid being around people who are eating if possible.

I have anxiety before any surgery, even though I've had a few under my belt! It's a normal reaction. This is pretty much a routine surgery these days, though - and they're considered very safe, so don't stress too much! (although I realize that's easy for ME to say!)
the liquid diet is the worst part of the whole ordeal - but a lot of us can relate! You just have to white knuckle through it - it'll get better by day 3 or 4, when your body hits ketosis. As another posted said, sugar free popsicles are great to have - so is sugar free Jello. There were days I hate an entire thing of sugar free Jello, just because it was the only thing I could have that somewhat resembled real food!
I was also allowed to have a limited amount of tomato juice/V8 and broth (I think it might have been a cup of each per day) - that helped, too - the sodium in it made me retain water, which made me feel a little fuller.

Everyone worries before the surgery. Is it going to work? Am I going to die? Normal worries. Get some sugar free popsicles to help you through the liquid diet. They provide something to crunch on instead of just liquid.