Blucexy1920

Same day here but yes we got this!

My liquid diet starts on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Im considering starting it a week early, then take a few bites on Thanksgiving only.

My biggest fears are:
1. Dying- I am the breadwinner for my family, have two young children, and two elderly parents with dementia I take care of. I need to be here because there are a lot of people counting on me for pretty much everything.
2. It not working- I feel like I hear so many horror stories of it not working, or people losing only a small amount of weight before nothing happening. I know it generally works, but you can’t help but be concerned that you might go through all this for nothing.
3. Regain. This is not my first rodeo with weight loss. Over 10 years ago I lost 150 lbs (without surgery) and had an amazing experience being “thin” for the first time in my life with all the accolades, pride, etc that comes with it. Only to gain it all back plus a lot more. I am doing everything I can to try to make this time different but I’ve done it to myself before and I’m terrified I’ll do it again.
4. My freaking insurance finding some dumb loophole to deny my surgery that they submitted for last week! Or Covid causing elective surgeries to be cancelled again and my husband losing his job that has the Bariatric coverage medical insurance before they resume surgery. Or basically some new reason that I get denied after so many years trying to make this work.
5. Complications: a leak, chronic issues, being nauseous forever, a clot, having to have the surgery revised later due to gerd, or any other issues that I can think of.

So basically what are my greatest fears? Everything, it looks like. Ha!

I had 2 major fears.
1) Like many others, dying on the table. This was especially bad as I could not say goodbye or hug my loved ones due to COVID quarantine.
2) Saying goodbye to how I used to eat, permanently. I had an abusive relationship with food and I was afraid that I wasn't ready to change my relationship with eating. It was hard at first... I spent some time mourning food, right before and during my pre-op diet. But through therapy and with help from the surgery I've been able to reduce my reliance on food for comfort. My body seems to enjoy healthier, simpler meals more than complex/fatty ones, so the comfort I used to find in chicken nuggets I get from some good soup.

I had two major fears:
1. I would have some sort of serious complication. For some reason, people delight in telling you horror stories once they know you are having bariatric surgery and all that gave me anxiety.
2. I was afraid it wouldn't work. I don't know why, I just wasn't confident that the surgery would be effective for me.
As it turned out, both fears were unnecessary. I had no major issues with surgery and I'm happy with my results so far. ? And now I get to be a counter-example for all those horror stories, LOL.

You aren't alone. I'm so used to how I look now, I'm worried I won't like what I see. Especially with loose skin and possible hair loss. But, at the end of the day, my desire to add years to my life outweighs my concern in that way. It's not shallow imo. How we look changes the way a lot of the world reacts to us, which feeds our own insecurities or appreciations.
I'm actually nervous about how people may treat me differently. I've heard sometimes there can be jealousy, or previous friendships fall apart because you are no longer their "fat friend". Which, I guess in hindsight, is better to know then to not know. I'm sure I'll still be the same dorky me, but lighter. Hopefully most of my friends and family will be supportive.
I'm excited for you and your journey. I'm right there with you.