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Anna N.

Pre Op
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Everything posted by Anna N.

  1. hi everyone, im very new here, decided to join because i had the gastric sleeve about a year ago, September 17th, 2019, and since i left the hospital and went back home to Europe, im not from the states, i started losing weight pretty quickly. the constant not feeling a 100 wasn't a problem for me since i had decided before hand to give myself time and dedicate my time to only this, losing the weight and get myself back to normal. i ever quit my job since i have the possibility of being self sustained for a while. so i just went on, eating very little, resting whenever i could. everything was going fine, since at the time of the surgery i was 310 lbs and now i am 160 lbs, so 150 lbs are down in a year. however a couple of weeks ago i started feeling faint,couldn't concentrate and i was on vacation at the time and had collapsed a couple of times before that, but i didn't think much of it. drove back home barely with no energy at all, did some house work when i got back ( always resting whenever i could always lying down whenever i could, mostly how spent the last year since the surgery, always saving energy but always aware, always conscious ) until i got a call from my ex boss that wanted me back to work 2 weeks ago. i didn't sleep that night because i started panicking about my future and wondering how i was ever gonna be able to work feeling as shitty as i did, and then i went to the meeting with him, had a coffee, declined his offer because i already decided that i needed to find some place new to work at, since that one was too toxic, and after an hour i felt how my brain felt before it wanted to collapse. so i panicked not wanting to faint in a public place and rushed to my car, got home, as soon as i laid down i haven't been the same since. i have felt absent, any conversation feels difficult to me, like i am floating, but i am conscious , however not totally present. any physical activity is hell, even though i worked out three times a week before this and walked with no problems. so i went and got my blood work done and hormonal work done, i even got an MRI of my head because i had such bad episodes of feeling like i was literally gonna die, i thought i had a brain tumor. but everything turned out great, everything is normal. the doctors keep on insisting i lost too much weight in one year and that i need to find a balance now, a classic case of malnutrition and starvation. however my brain is still not letting me feel like i am healthy because all the time i am feeling like i am not present. the doctors say that now i am in a state of catabolism, where the body has drained all its resources and it will take time to recover, psychically and mentally. i started seeing a nutritionist that claims that she will help me. it remains to be seen. one thing is for sure i cant live and function like this. its hard for me to tell myself you are healthy , nothing is wrong when i can barely get through the day with ease. i wake up feeling like this, there is always a panic in my chest that i may never recover from this. the doctors even say i need psychiatric help, but i know that's not the case since i need to solve mt psychical state first. i need to tart feeling like myself again asap. has anyone else ever experienced problems like these? sorry for the long post, i am very desperate for any good advise i may get. god bless you all. here is a pic of me exactly a year apart from surgery and this September, just before i started feeling like this.
  2. it is a low dose, starting to double it after tomorrow actually since i was told to do so after the 2 weeks, and i am taking xanax along side the antideressant.
  3. did blood work 2 times, the second time especially for anemia, everything is fine. even did an insulin resistance test, and i have hyperinsulinemia, but it doesn't explain my symptoms, my endocrinologist told me that my pancreas will get better in time without therapy, she said she could give me therapy, but that in time my body would fix that on its own. even did the ANA test for autoimmune diseases, it showed nothing. but i feel worse with every passing day. i just pray i get better now, cause i have no idea how i am gonna live like this.
  4. hey, yeah everybody says its textbook anxiety / depression. but its been almost 3 months now, nothing has changed. i will hit my 2 week mark with antidepressants tomorrow, but dont feel much difference tbh. they just make me numb, make me complain less. i feel like my head will explode, i still feel the absentness, i sleep like i am in a coma, and when i do wake up i feel like i havent slept for years. its a nightmare. the only thing i havent done still is a lumbar puncture. all the other results seem great, everybody keeps telling me that i am great. but i feel like i am dying, slowly, day by day. and it doesnt matter how much food i eat or how much water i drink. its horrible.
  5. so all your blood work, even the iron was normal, ok maybe a little low, yet a hematologist saw that something was wrong and helped u? they did find something with the insulin however they wanna fix it with the diet. i dont know why, since i keep telling everyone nothing changes no matter hat i eat. i still feel so absent, it gets worse every day. i cant function properly anymore. yet nobody is concerned. they have me on antidepressants that only make me worry less, but the brain fog, the fatigue, and the general disorientation get worse every single day. i dont know how i am gonna live like this.
  6. thank you! i did go to another neuro psychiatrist that once again gave me a diagnosis of depression and anxiety, saying that that aside from the physical aspect of the whole thing, i didn't have psychological help and support either, so she gave me xanax and some other organic calming pill in order to help me. honestly, not feeling any improvements, all the contrary, it keeps getting worse, however she told me to give it time. willing to try anything at this point. and as traumas go, the life in a 31- lbs body is never easy, so i was heavily bullied growing up, however, i always thought i dealt with it.maybe not. idk.
  7. hey, so i did another blood work and once again everything seemed to be perfectly normal, with the exception of the insulin resistance test that i insisted on doing, which showed that after they gave me sugar to drink i started feeling sick and faint again, the blood work showed that the insulin had dropped significantly. this test is done in three hours, and the way it works is they take blood each hour but in the meantime they give u sugar to drink to see how your insulin and pancreas react. so i need to see an endocrinologist once more, since the first one i saw laughed at me and told me i was perfectly fine.
  8. is there any way or any tests they can do in order for them to determine for sure that this is what i have?
  9. the anxiety happens when u feel absent and feel weakness at all times, not being able to focus on anything that u used to enjoy. it makes u question how u can function in the real world like that and it comes in, heavy, relentlessly. i never used to be like this.
  10. how long have u felt like this? is the feeling constant? i am going insane these weeks, i have never felt like this in my entire life. this isn't me.
  11. i will see a psychiatrist, however, the reason for my anxiety is the fact that i have been feeling absent and not myself for weeks now. and it's freaking me out since it's not going away. if i felt my old self back, i believe i would be ok. but of course i will consult a psychiatrist.
  12. thank you for your input, i really appreciate it. i did see an endocrinologist, she literally repeated the same things that the doctors that saw my blood work said: you are a healthy young girl, eat more, drink more , find yourself a hobby ( this seemed particularly ridiculous to me since i can't even watch a movie normally anymore ) and in time u will feel better and the body will find it's balance. none of them seemed to care how i felt for days now. so like i said, i am consulting a nutritionist now, hoping to see some changes. also seeing a psychiatrist soon. hopefully i will come out of this.
  13. hey, thanks for your input, it really helped! could u tell me maybe in terms of protein what works the best for you? my nutritionist has me on a lot of fruits and a lot of fish , i just started yesterday, so i hope i will see a difference soon. in terms of protein, vitamins intake, what works the best for you? how much do u eat in a day now that u have found your balance? thank you.
  14. thank you! yeah i have lost much more than i should have in a year, which is what every doctor keeps telling me, and with not eating and drinking well through the year, it took it's toll on my body and mind. i just want a way out of this, especially since i want to get back to work and move apartments, but i can't do any of that now, since i can't seem to focus on anything for more than half an hour at the max, everything takes so much work. yeah before seeing this nutritionist i tried eating every 2 hours, these last days before i started with the regime that she gave me, not much has changed honestly, but i have faith in seeing the nutritionist now, that i will get back to myself. i can't live like this, i have even had moments when i have kept wondering was this all worth it?
  15. this is exactly how i am feeling! everyone keeps telling me you are healthy, u need to see a psychiatrist, and i keep feeling like this, day after day after day... it's maddening. i started with the regimen my nutritionist gave me since yesterday, i will keep at it, hopefully it will bring me back. honestly i just want to feel like myself again... have u tried anything else? have u seen a nutritionist?
  16. exactly, which is why the most important thing is to find the balance that works for you. i need to remain hopeful, that in some time i will start to feel like myself again, do all the things i used to do and that this is not more serious. all the doctors keep telling me just give it time, months even, the body will find it's balance, but in the meantime feed it properly with everything it needs and of course drink a hell a lot of water. i am actually starting the regimen my nutritionist gave today to me so fingers crossed it all goes well.
  17. hey, the times i passed out were different. the first time was beginning of May this year i was at a barbecue, and then suddenly i felt that sensation i had this last Saturday, but on Saturday i controlled it, i didn't faint, i started breathing really hard , but in may i couldn't do that since i had no clue what was going on. maybe i was in the sun for too long, or my blood pressure dropped, but i could barely manage to get inside and pass out. the second and third times were in the shower, and it just make it that much more horrifying. doctors always explain it to me that the steam of the hot water coming from the shower combined with the fact that my blood sugar was very low and that i wasn't getting enough water , those things combined made me pass out and feel this horribly. however i was always able to come back after those, granted, i always felt tired, always saved energy, never overdid it, but always CONSCIOUS of my surroundings and willing to participate in everything. now it's all changed and it's been 2 weeks and i am freaked out. whenever i took my BP it was relatively normal. the best advice i could give you, find the rhythm that works for you, dont push yourself to lose weight, our bodies are already conditioned to lose weight after surgery. whats hard and what i think a lot of people don't realize is that the body needs to find it's balance and where is the weight or the calorie intake it needs in order to function properly. so i would advise u consult a nutritionist. eat and drink all the recommended, because the weight will drop sooner rather than later, but feeling this way, the way i have since Saturday, IS NOT WORTH IT. i sincerely hope that i will come back from this, and feel like my old self again, that i need to be patient, but don't let yourself get here. just take your time and eat healthy. i had unhealthy goals, and reaching them in one year cost me this what i am experiencing now.
  18. nope , she saw on my blood work that B12 levels were ok and now i am taking it via supplement. everybody just glances over my blood work and hormonal work, sees that they are ok, and just tell me " you are healthy, you just starved yourself for a year and now the body needs to find it's balance " when i feel horrible every single day. i can't focus, no energy, i am not present when i am speaking to someone, it's even hard to go to the kitchen and make something to eat for myself when i loved to cook before this year. i even lost my appetite. the blood work show some vitamin D deficiency though. taking supplements for it now. could this be real? did i over do it the first year?
  19. thanks to everyone that answered, i did start drinking a lot more water these last couple of days, not a lot has changed im afraid. the doctors keep telling me i need to give it time, however as time passes i get more and more desperate and anxious unfortunately. its scary when everyone is telling u that you are healthy but u don't feel it. i really hope that with better nutrition and more water it will go away eventually.