As I read your message, I can see that you are going through the process of learning to love yourself and be yourself, and that takes time. You may want to look for some guided meditation CDs to help you relax and to learn to be quiet inside yourself. There are a number available through Amazon. One I like is Kelly Howell's The Secret -- Universal Mind Meditation.
As some of the other messages have said, if your parents are willing to pay for this, it might be worthwhile taking advantage of this, but be kind to yourself. Spend time thinking about what you want for your life.