50Startingover

You write how I feel
Still im that dark cave...Dec 19th was my surgery. My ex left Thanksgiving. Haven't had 1 call asking how everything is. Bills pilling up. Depression and anxiety at my all time worst. I have to find a way to get out my own head.
Huggs Love and Light to you and everyone feeling down?

Love this???

So I went back to find this post I made YEARSSSSSSS AGO and a reply i made a couple of years later. This is when i still had my Lapband (didn't come out till March 2017). Since then I got divorced and remarried.... Band removal and Sleeve revision (aug. 28, 2019).
Posted April 25, 2013
I have not always needed you.... and one time in my life.. i was a "normal" person. Size 0-3... weigh a whopping 100lbs. Back in my single day... then one day you meet a wonderful guy and you fall in love... ahhh things are great. You get married and have a beautiful son. and life is good.... but then you notice that you’re not happy as you use to be. some days are worse than others... you find the strength to get up every day and go to work and live a "normal" life. Things are good at home... but something is missing... that spark, that feeling you use to get when you and your spouse were together intimately .. and you notice that those time has gotten further and further apart. and you think, what is going on? and one day the reason is staring you right in the face... the mirror... but in that mirror is someone else... surely, it's not me... I don't look like that... that's a ugly fat girl... i'm not ugly and i for damn sure am not fat. Can't be... i told my self-years ago i would NEVER like myself look like... those people... but then you look closer... and closer and there. i know those eyes.... those are my eyes... but why do they look so sad. I have happy eyes. and i see, i see the real me. the one others have been seeing for years.... how did i not see this... how did i let myself get like this ... how did i become that girl that now had to shop at the plus-size store... when just yesterday i was a size 3... How did i become the girl the skinny girls are not looking at and saying... i'll never let myself look like HER... and i'm the HER. this feeling takes the very last shred of self-confidence and stomps it into the dirt and spits on it. and you think...i am ugly i am fat i am unworthy of love.... unworthy of feeling good. and you start to eat... more and more and everything keeps getting worse. you stop taking care of yourself, stop dressing up stop wearing make-up and fixing your hair.... stop putting forth the effort at all... You are now sitting in a deep dark cave, alone and no one or nothing can show you the light....
But one day... you open your eyes expecting to see nothing... complete darkness and there it is... a speck of light.... it's tiny, but just right there in front of you. and you squint to see it.... making sure it's really there. that speck was my friend Paula... she had lb surgery and every day we talked and every day my light grow brighter.... I went to the doctor and did all the tests... did it all and the news that i was approved... OH ... JOy. I looked in the mirror and saw a glimmer of hope. But as the days grew closer... I started to think... WHAT IF... what if i die on the table, what if i fail at this too, what if i stayed fat forever... Then i saw this site...trolled for a long while. I didn't want to sign because, well what if someone knew me... the horror... Then i saw all the successive people... the beautiful woman and handsome men that in their before pictures looked so sad... sad like me. Then i saw the after pictures. and all the happy smiling faces... people who were bigger than me... now wearing size 6 jeans (lellow)... and i thought, i can do this i can get my life back.... I will be happy again. so on November 10, 2009... i awoke... was re-born. and i did do it... i lost 80lbs... it took me longer than most, but i don't care. I have donated all the 12-14-16 & 18 and moved into my own size 6... On Feb 15, 2012.... after a long hard fight.... i won and awarded myself a tummy tuck... i deserved it. I earned it....
so to my band... thank you... for sticking with me and always keeping me on track.
and too all you out there thinking about doing this.....search within yourself and be happy again... whichever way you choose.....
blessings.....
Posted March 31, 2015
Ak.... congrats on deciding to make a change in your life.
I re-read my post and im terrible in grammar... lol.... but it made me cry a little... to think back at how sad i really was. And to admit, i have started feeling that way again.... Not that i am "fat" by normal standards, im still a size 8. But i have put back 20 and feel defeated somewhat. Scared... too. Scared of the unknown, of the what if's.... What if i can't get my ass back in gear and do what i know i can. Depressed because i have no support at home with my husband. Who just yesterday said that my LB was a "hobby"... can you believe that... A Hobby... He hates that im no longer "fat"... he said.... your not fat, you're thick.... where other men will tell me im Hot, beautiful, sexy... not him... im thick. We went through a time where sex was great... 2-3 times a week... which was a vast improvement from 1-2 a YEAR... We are now back at 1-2 a month.... if im lucky.
February 14, 2020
Well, I did lose that 20 i put back and in fact did lose another 10... I soon after i decided that there was a lot more to the reason i was so unhappy. My ex was still very verbally abusive and very unsupportive. He still hated my weight loss. Still was not being intimate with me... and it got back down to 1-2 a year. Found out that he was in fact sleeping with another woman (he never admitted it). I talked with him and begged him to do counseling... he said no, that there was nothing wrong with him. So I sat down on the couch and said, if things don't change, i'm filing for divorce. Of course, he didn't believe me... but i pulled up my big girl "thongs" (hehe) and filed.... After he realized i was standing my ground, now he wanted counseling.... NOPE.. too late i was done and completly checked out. The marriage ended after 26 years. The day i said i was filing... it was like a thousand tons had been lifted. I started dating and found that men (and women) wanted me. I felt so good about myself. I even posted a profile on Match... and yes that is where i found Tim. I sware he is the last of a dying breed..... perfect gentleman, so kind and loving and giving.... has excepted me for me... He loves me thin, thick (gained 30lbs after band removal) and loves me now.... Thin again. He tells and shows me every day how much he appreciates me.... and it's such a wonderful feeling. So as of today, i'm 51 years old, still 5'2", CW 133.4, Current size 4.... Sleeve done Aug 28, 2019. So im 25 weeks PO. Got married on September 26, 2019..... I am the happiest i have ever been..... Loving me

I suggest you that whenever you feel like skipping a day, try to convince yourself that let me do it today and i will skip tomorrow and do the same daily.

Erm, I live in Virginia. If I start now, it should take me about five months to get there. I'll be in great shape and lose more weight, but I'm afraid I'll be too tired to walk with you.?
Seriously, I wish I had a walking buddy also...I never thought to use this forum to find someone. Good luck! Hey, if you start east and I head west we should meet in Nebraska or something. That sounds like a math word problem. If JRT Mom walks west at 4 miles and hour, and 50Startingover heads east at 5 miles and hour (she's faster than JRT Mom), how many hours before they meet, or will they give up and call an Uber first??

I am looking for someone to walk with in West Marin, CA. I have become a hermit over the past 5 yrs and don't have anyone to walk with. My own motivation is no strong so if I had a walking partner It will be alot easier to get out and walk longer than I am. I live in Forest Knolls,CA.

You've made good progress, mistakes happen, forgive yourself and promise to do better. Beating yourself up and having a negative mindset will only make your progress slower and hold you back

If you cycled 40 miles you earned the fries ??‍♂️

I rode 40+ miles on my bike today. I did great with my water and my RX bars, but I was hungry afterward, no suprise. My car tire got a flat and I had to wait over 2 hours at Discount Tire to get it fixed. Anyway, I walked to Chik Filet and got a healthy lunch. Great. Got my car back and THEN drove through McDonalds and got a LARGE fry!!!! I ate it all, wishing there was more salt. (Clue.) And now I am sick. My tum really hurts and feel like throwing up. Remorse, remorse, remorse. Looking back, it wasn't hunger - it was salt. So lesson learned - I need to use some electrolytes on longer rides. But oh how it makes me sad to see how easily I just drove through and got those fries. More head work to do.

Stomach fat is the most difficult one to reduce. Requires a lot of discipline. Do daily planks - start with one min plank - 5 times a day. Increase it to 2 min plan after two weeks - 5 times a day. Do it daily. Get to 3 min planks 5 times a day every day after the following two weeks. You need to spend 15 mins in your entire day. Secondly do stomach crunches - 50 a day and split it by 10 at a time. Get to 100 A day in 3 weeks and continue for rest of your life. You will see amazing difference in couple of months.
stop beer or fatty foods. If you are gym person, an hour of any exercise will keep you fit and active.

@reedkib
@sillykitty is "silly", LOL, but correct - you don't lose the weight in the order that you want
"they" say that the last place you gained/showed inches first (ie - tummy) - that is the place you
will lose inches from first - so if tummy inches accumulated last, it "should"/might come
off first. (butttt remember we all react differently.)
That being said, Sit ups, crunches, and squats are great too in general!!☺️
good luck
kathy

I still have flabby skin....i lost slowly, and exercise daily. Mainly focusing on muscle building with some cardio. I have also tried every fad out there to try to tighten it up...sadly for me i think only winning the lottery will cure this jiggle???that way i can get surgery.

Has anyone tried using weight lifting/muscle strengthening for a better look for your loose skin? How well does it work? how long does it take to notice a better look if u go semi aggressively, and what amt of weight is good for muscle building?

When I first got mine I was like that probably the first two months. What i saw that helped me a bit was greek yogurt i would add some chia seeds to it. Try that it worked for me. Hopefully it does for you. I still struggle a bit but not as bad I probably go two or three times a week now and im going on 5 months post op

I agree - contact your surgeon. Constipation is common after WLS, but three weeks is way too long.

Smooth Move Tea May help

Try Milk of Magnesia and if it doesbt work quickly, call your doctor right away. 3 weeks is too long to not go.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Magnesium Citrate. But this has been way too long for you to go without pooping. Call your doctor.

You could also try fleet glycerine suppositories. They really work.

Yes call your doctor this is too long without pooping.

I finally went, the prunes worked. I do feel like I am ok other than this issue. If it continues, I will go to the hospital. Thank you for your response!?

hi there!
I got sleeved on Feb 3 and my first bowel movement was today, Feb 8... Other than keeping my water intake up, I added prune juice and prune baby food. I was desperate since the last time I pooped was right before my surgery.
I’m not a fan of prunes so I had to dilute the juice a little. And I would take just small amounts of the baby food.
hopefully this helps!

I believe it's been over 3 weeks since I have gone poo. I had my surgery on Dec 19th. Only have gone twice since. I have been drinking Miralax and eating prunes(I know I shouldn't, but I am desperate). I am 40 lbs down and now feel tierd all the time. I drink water all day long. I eat very little, but make sure I have protien. I just want to go normally! Any suggestions?

L*A*X*A*T*I*V*E*S
(ASK YOUR SURGEON)