Hey Girl, I've read your story and fully understand. My husband is similar in that he would be scared of something happening to me. So we would have a huge argument, and I'd go anyway feeling bad. However, my advice, not that you asked. Do Not tell him. I know the letter came and all that, he cant stop that part of it, but you should not go into surgery after a huge confrontation with him. Do yourself a favor and go through the surgery with happy thoughts. My vsg date is April 30, 2019. I will not be telling my husband for just that reason. No arguments, pleasant procedure. It's all about Me! I wish you the best in whatever you decide.