tmankrom

Wow @Frustr8! You certainly put things in perspective.
Thank you for allowing me to vent and responding with both compassion and conviction. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time healing from surgery. I know I've just met you, but I'm so proud of you for staying strong through all that - I'd imagine it must be difficult to make a decision like this at 72, but you're going to have years of good health ahead of you because of your decision! "I came into this world, red-faced,red hair and shaking my fists, probably go out the same way" made me laugh - you're a firecracker!
I had a good cry tonight to let out my frustration, and now I'm pushing forward. It's hard sometimes when you see anecdotes of people breezing through surgery and feeling totally normal 2 weeks post op, but I have to remember to be gentle on my body and that everyone heals at a different pace.

Starry*Night please be easy on yourself, don't dwell on regrets. You're starting purees, that is SO GOOD, you could be in my moccasins, 19 weeks solid of liquids, few very runny purees, protein shakes. Tuesday I made a mini- branch out to mashed potatoes gravy and 3 well-chewed shreds of Turkey meat. Doesn't sound too thrilling ? Honey it was the first MEAT I was able to keep down since before my RnY September 5th, I literally wanted to cry. You see I have a stomal stricture and jejunem ulcers that aren't healing well, I spent a Week in Ohio State University November28- December 5th, had a PICC line put in November 29th, I am on TPN feedings 14 hours a night, I couldn't get enough protein in orally to help my ulcers heal, this way I do have a fighting chance at healing.
Do I regret my surgery? Nope my life was pretty abysmal before it. Obese, in constant arhrotis pain from dragging my heaviness around, my peers dying and I wasn't sure I wouldn't be next!
Mad at my facility? Nope they took a chance on me and my surgery, many 72 year old women get turned down, many facilities have a cut-off at 60 or 70.
Oh I am more than a little peeved that my body is malfunctioning, not healing as fast as some, the knowledge that I will end up with baggy saggy skin, it was stretched too many years to BOUNCE back. But I am Still alive, kicking a little complaining but I am not as short,of breath as I once was. I came into this world, red-faced,red hair and shaking my fists, probably go out the same way. But nobody better ever consider counting Me Out, I still have a lot to offer this sad old world, maybe I will stick around and straighten things out.
Oh this challenge is not easy, and there is discomfort, my PICC LINE feels at times like someone stapled me with an industrial stapeler, but it will be a tool to help me get better, 14 hours wearing a bag of feeding solution , which is 8 pounds of dead weight, that's why it is in a black backpack, oh I do feel wearied but not ? worried. And I'm here if you ever want to vent more, and I am here for the long haul because I believe in tomorrows,i believe in the future and I believe in my surgeons, if I am broken now, they have the tools to repair and restore me! And I shall be victorious yet!