(October 2nd surgery) I can only speak for myself.. but I know the depression is definitely setting in because I’m sitting home all day thinking about the food I can’t have. I have to imagine anyone in the world would feel this way after almost a week of eating nothing at all with substance! I’ve been so down on myself & crying all day but I’m having a moment of clarity! We’re all going to get through this. 2 months goes by so fast and by then we’ll all see results, feel healthier, & be on a normal diet! We can do this (even though most of the time in the last 4 days I’ve felt like I can’t at all... I’m sure I’ll be crying again later) I miss food. But of course I miss food because for the last 26 years every time I was upset I have pasta or something else delicious. I got my period this week too & have had diarrhea too (my doctor says protein shakes do that) but honestly it feels nice to have something not staying in my body and making me feel so full.
I’m down 16 pounds since they weighed me at the hospital pre-op but I don’t believe that because different scales give different numbers. But 9lbs using only my scale. I’m scared the weight will stop coming off. I’m scared I’m going to mess this all up. Scared I’m stuck being like this forever. Scared I made a mistake getting the surgery....
But we all did it. We’ve made it this far. Through all the appointments, all the times someone at those appointments asked you to say your weight out loud, through the pain of surgery. Everything. Which I can only HOPE means we can push through these next two months.
I know this is so long and I’m sorry. But no one else understands. Remind me when I’m hysterically crying at 3am wishing I could have a slice of pizza that there was a point when I saw clarity in all of this hahaha.
I have faith in all of us (well all of you at least) it’s going to get better