I began my journey back in December and now my gastric sleeve surgery date has finally arrived. Back when I first started out and was attending pre-op appointments, nutritionist visits, getting various tests and lab work done, and generally jumping through a lot of hoops, it seemed like I'd never get to this point.
Now that I'm here it almost seems like it's all happening too fast. I've done a lot of reading on here and other bariatric surgery forums in the past few months, but I never felt a desire to participate until now. I'll be heading to the hospital soon and I'm feeling emotional. Everyone seems to be so different in how their recovery progresses and I have a lot of anxiety over not knowing how I'll feel when I wake up and for the first few months.
It's also daunting to be making such a big decision that involves a serious and irreversible change to my body. Still, I can only hope it will be better than the life I've been living. I'm only 24, but I'm physically disabled (from birth) and I've spent most of my life overweight to obese due to low activity levels, a poor relationship with food and nutrition, and a lack of positive coping skills to deal with my anxiety and depression.
I'm tired of physically feeling heavy and how the weight exacerbates my disability-related pains and mobility issues. I'm tired of the slow creep towards various comorbidities. And I'm tired of looking in the mirror and being ashamed of what I see and how I got myself to this point. I also don't want food and eating to rule my life and my feelings anymore.
I am scared. But the stories I've read about here and elsewhere online have inspired me. I think I'm finally ready to change my life. Wish me luck.