Born in Missouri

I do not care for my surgeon as a person, but as a surgeon I know he's well-qualified. Obviously, it would be great to have a surgeon that didn't talk and behave like an ass, but if you're willing to overlook his bedside shortcomings in exchange for a competent surgeon, then feel confident that you made a good decision. Do I find your surgeon's comments inappropriate and sexist? Absolutely. Would I have wished that I had the perfect comeback when he made his disparaging remarks about women who want to build healthy muscle? Absolutely. My guess is that you're mainly peeved because he got away with saying what he said, and you weren't able (out of sheer disbelief perhaps) to challenge his asshattery. Instead of being able to express yourself fully with him, your only outlet (and a less satisfying outlet) is to vent here. I doubt if I'm alone as a woman in feeling hesitant to speak up for myself. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I often "flew away". It took years of therapy before I could rid myself of that shame. In some ways, I was conditioned, as are many women, to be shrinking violets. There's also the issue of status involved in your case. We've been taught to respect certain professionals, doctors included. So, here you are confronted by a male doctor who completely caught you off-guard by basically equating unattractiveness with muscles. Heck, we're already fat and feeling bad about that, now to be told that to build muscle is unfeminine. Wow. Imagine paying an insurance co-pay to hear all this crap. It's important for you to be a strong self-advocate. You are taking a life-changing step with weight-loss surgery, so why stop there? For your own self-respect, I'd politely but firmly revisit this conversation by letting him know that you were offended by his views on women who lift weights and press him about whether there is a medical reason for you to not lift weights or if this was just his subjective view. If you read my profile statement, you'll discover that I had a negative hospital experience with my doctor. Yes, I vented like crazy here and elsewhere, but as soon as I saw my surgeon at my first follow-up appointment walking down the hall (I was actually supposed to see a nurse practitioner for this visit), I approached him with confidence, touched his arm, and said, "Dr. S---, I am not very happy with you. In fact, I'm very disappointed." He was so taken off-guard by my bluntness that he escorted me into the exam room and spent 45 minutes worth of damage control on me. You can imagine the bewilderment of the nurse when she walked in and he was with me. She probably thought she was the one in trouble. The point is, I took back some of the dignity that I felt had been taken from me previously. Yes, it was "just" a statement about muscles, but where do you draw the line? You wouldn't be here venting if it didn't bother the becheezits out of you. Believe me, you'll feel better about yourself for at least trying to stand up for yourself. It might not go over well, maybe you feel clumsy getting out your words, but it's better than saying nothing. Practice self-advocacy until it becomes second nature. The older I get, the easier it's becoming. When you don't speak up for yourself, you are essentially giving the other person the power and permission to put you down.

Welcome. You've come to the right place. It sounds like you're heading down a positive path, emotionally and decision-wise. It's great that you have a good support system; it makes the tough times easier.

Woo-hoo. Take it slow, heal fast.

If you've been following this forum, many post-op bypass patients actually lose their appetites. I'm one of them. Have you ever been through childbirth? Have you ever had any surgery before? In general, how do you handle everyday aches and pains?

I use garbanzo bean flour, barley flour, and several other alternative flours. Some are denser than others, so it depends on what the recipe is for. Baking may be tricky territory for some flours. The thing that concerns me most, though, is that many of these specialty flours are often milled and processed in the same facilities. There is a chance, then, that residue from a tree-nut flour may be present in another specialty flour. Sometimes, a warning is found on the packaging. Since this is a life-threatening allergy for you, I would be hesitant to try any specialty flour unless I knew 100% that there is no cross-"contamination".

@zsnaani I wish you the best in finding the support you DESERVE. I was probably by happy accident that happened upon this site. My dietitian merely suggested that I join an online group; she didn't suggest one in particular. I'd probably be in a much different state of mind had I joined the Facebook groups you described. No wonder you're feeling so down. I wish I were the person you're looking for. I long for a face-to-face friend to buddy with. Hopefully, you'll be able to find someone in Georgia.

@James Marusek I appreciate the link you provided. It was very detailed and informative. I found a couple of things that clicked with me. I'm all about educating myself about my own body, so thanks for helping me do that.

I take my vitamins daily. They include all the micronutrients that are sometimes missing in some so-called multi-vitamins. As I said, my labs came back fine. Nothing was out of range, including my calcium, magnesium or potassium. I also take a good iron supplement, sublingual B12, and calcium citrate. I understand how to take my vitamins and minerals to enhance bioavailability. Remember, my daughter is a PharmD and two of my sons are physicians. My daughter lives nearby, but my sons live in Nebraska and Michigan. The pain is still lip-biting bad. I can't remember having a cramp or cramps like this, ever. Propping up my leg doesn't help; my leg has to be stretched out. I feel foolish lying in bed during the day, but it's the only comfortable way for me to rest my leg. On the one hand, I think I need to rest my leg, but I don't want the muscle to get any weaker, either. Thank you for all your kind words of concern.

Love your username, @RapidFirePickle. And congratulations on your impressive weight-loss numbers. Have you experienced consistent weight loss over these last couple of months or loss-stall-loss-stall?

They ruled-out the bad stuff, so it's just speculation what it might be. Most likely, they think it's a muscle that has atrophied from reduced activity or just a strain. I don't recall pulling it. I haven't fallen lately. They suggested ice or heat, whichever feels the most comfortable, and a follow-up with my primary. I have my one-month previously-scheduled appointment with my surgeon on Monday, so I'll let him decide if he wants to explore the pain more. It must have been an odd thing for the ER having someone in pain not expecting pain meds. Truthfully, what could they possibly have prescribed for me that I don't already have (times ten) at home? The thing I really dislike about ERs is being treated like I'm an attention-seeking, drug-seeking hypochondriac.

You don't a bezoar. They can be a problem for sleeve patients, too.

I accidentally posted this in the sleeve forum. I was going to erase it, but then I figured it might be relevant for post-op sleeve patients, too. Post-op clots are a risk for all WLS patients.

I'm one month out from my bypass. Last night, I had intense leg pain in my right calf. Pain has to be off-the-charts for me to even notice. When you take as much morphine as I do (for an unrelated chronic condition), the pain has to be really bad. This was at least an 8 out of 10. This afternoon, after suffering all night and all day today, I finally mentioned what was going on. My daughter dropped by for a visit and she could see right away that I was trying to hide my pain from her. I could have lied, told her it was post-surgery discomfort, but I don't like being dishonest with my kids. Anyway, it wasn't my idea to go to the ER. My daughter insisted. I figured it was a muscle pull or a cramp. I didn't seem to have the the typical symptoms for a clot, so I thought I'd just sweat it out. The ER took my leg pain complaint seriously. They did an ultrasound, took an X-ray, and did a lot of blood work. Everything was normal. I was actually more interested in my blood work. After weeks of lousy Protein and Fluid intake, I figured I'd have abnormal readings. Not so. My protein was within normal limits, my electrolytes were fine.. so was everything else. Do I feel silly for going to the ER? Yes and no. Would I have gone if my daughter hadn't stopped by? Probably not. Would I suggest that someone else with the same leg pain go to the ER to rule out a clot? Probably. It's amazing how we often won't take symptoms we experience concerning our own body seriously, but when it comes to others, we tend to take things very seriously...

I'm one month out from my bypass. Last night, I had intense leg pain in my right calf. Pain has to be off-the-charts for me to even notice. When you take as much morphine as I do (for an unrelated chronic condition), the pain has to be really bad. This was at least an 8 out of 10. This afternoon, after suffering all night and all day today, I finally mentioned what was going on. My daughter dropped by for a visit and she could see right away that I was trying to hide my pain from her. I could have lied, told her it was post-surgery discomfort, but I don't like being dishonest with my kids. Anyway, it wasn't my idea to go to the ER. My daughter insisted. I figured it was a muscle pull or a cramp. I didn't seem to have the the typical symptoms for a clot, so I thought I'd just sweat it out. The ER took my leg pain complaint seriously. They did an ultrasound, took an X-ray, and did a lot of blood work. Everything was normal. I was actually more interested in my blood work. After weeks of lousy protein and fluid intake, I figured I'd have abnormal readings. Not so. My protein was within normal limits, my electrolytes were fine.. so was everything else. Do I feel silly for going to the ER? Yes and no. Would I have gone if my daughter hadn't stopped by? Probably not. Would I suggest that someone else with the same leg pain go to the ER to rule out a clot? Probably. It's amazing how we often won't take symptoms we experience concerning our own body seriously, but when it comes to others, we tend to take things very seriously...

I know how it feels to be away from your babies. I am the mother of four children, all now grown... but they will always be my babies. You said your parents will be watching your little ones. They'll be in good hands. I know you're not used to thinking about yourself, but you need to think about yourself on your surgery day. This is your special day. A day for you and about you.

My surgery was late in the day before I was #3 in line. The two cases ahead of me were, apparently, a lot more complicated than mine. Originally, I was scheduled for about 12:30-1:00pm, but the cases took far more time than anticipated. Yes, it seemed like forever waiting for my turn, but if I were on my surgeon's operating table, I wouldn't want him to rush my bypass because someone is WAITING. Yes, it is completely normal to be nervous, especially if this is your first surgery or if you've never had experience with anesthesia. Anesthesia nowadays is a piece of cake. You will be under so fast that you won't have time to be nervous. Believe me, there are highly-trained professionals taking care of you and you'll be extremely well cared for. I was under before I could count to five. It's that fast. Don't make yourself crazy reading isolated bad-experience stories. Those don't apply to you. Either the stories are updated or they're about people who had complications from the get-go. Please don't worry yourself unnecessarily. It's important to separate your rational fears from irrational ones. And, sweetie, you will wake up. In fact, before you know it, you'll be in the recovery room where more people will be buzzing around you, all taking wonderful care of you. Be positive. This is a day for you to celebrate. You packed your bags. You've worked hard to get to this point, so enjoy your surgery date. Take photos. You'll regret it if you don't. This is the beginning of your journey. Your life will change for the better. Be happy. Everyone here is rooting for you. If you need to talk, come back here and someone will talk to you. Feel free to send me a private message if you'd prefer that. I have a medical background so I can help you understand some of the medical stuff, too.

I had my surgery at 5 pm (yes pm, not am!) on Wednesday and I was discharged the next day, Thursday, at around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

I've posted about my struggles getting enough protein and fluids several times lately. Here's a comment I posted less than an hour ago. By the way, I've noticed other people concerned about the exact same problem, so we are not alone! I had a bypass. I see that you had a sleeve. Our post-surgical recovery experiences are probably similar, aren't they? I wonder what physiological differences exist, if any. After one month I finally discovered the obvious. I had everything on hand but I wasn't able to get my act together. Fatigue and anemia, what an amazing combo! I mixed two scoops of unflavored whey Protein Powder and added it to a cup of plain Greek yogurt. It tasted fine completely plain since I like plain yogurt, but I decided to sprinkle in some sugar-free peach Jell-O powder as an experiment. I had second thoughts afterward, though, since artificial sweeteners taste horrible post-surgery. It ended up being okay. No grit. No aftertaste. Anyway, that's 22g of Protein that I managed to get down without a problem. I thought I'd notice a mealy texture from the protein powder but it blended in smoothly and perfectly. I also have some Matcha-flavored whey protein powder that might be worth trying in yogurt, too. I haven't opened the container yet so I don't know how it'll work with yogurt.

After one month I finally discovered the obvious. I had everything on hand but I wasn't able to get my act together. Fatigue and anemia, what an amazing combo! I mixed two scoops of unflavored whey protein powder and added it to a cup of plain Greek yogurt. It tasted fine completely plain since I like plain yogurt, but I decided to sprinkle in some sugar-free peach Jell-O powder as an experiment. I had second thoughts afterward, though, since artificial sweeteners taste horrible post-surgery. It ended up being okay. No grit. No aftertaste. Anyway, that's 22g of protein that I managed to get down without a problem. I thought I'd notice a mealy texture from the protein powder but it blended in smoothly and perfectly. I also have some Matcha-flavored whey protein powder that might be worth trying in yogurt, too. I haven't opened the container yet so I don't know how it'll work with yogurt.

I mentioned on another post a game I like to play when being put under. It's silly really, and not worth repeating.

Thanks for pointing this out, Jess.

You're not the only one going through this. Here's someone else on this forum experiencing a funk, too. I also feel down, but depression came with me before surgery. I take medication for it, not sure how much it helps.

Has walking helped to release some of the gas?

I feel like a freak for not having a sweet tooth.

I feel nothing in the way of hunger, and I'm exactly 30 days out. Getting enough protein and the recommended fluid is still a daily struggle. I'm not nauseous, I just don't feel interested in food or anything actually. I'm afraid of losing muscle and developing various nutritional deficiencies despite taking all the required supplements. Losing weight under these conditions is not what I consider ideal.