Wow. I'm so sorry you have to deal with his issues on top of your own. The truth is, if he doesn't support this he isn't supporting you. Have you spoken to him about WHY he doesn't want you to have it? If it we're me, I'd have the surgery. You need support and compassion from your spouse and for whatever reason he can't give you that. You deserve it. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Anyone that doesn't want that for you, or threatens divorce because you want to be healthy is severely misguided. You need to make this choice for you and only you. And don't ever tolerate anyone calling you fatass. Being your husband does not give him the right. Best wishes.