teacupnosaucer

I was sleeved in March too! Down just about twenty pounds since my surgery. A hot cup of tea totally counts as a fluid! So does a glass of milk, or a protein water, or an iced herbal tea! Give yourself a break and expand your definition of fluid LOL! As long as you're not guzzling frappucinos or big gulp slushies, count it! I really like iced herbal tea and fruit infusions. Helps add a little bit of flavour to my water. But I do like plain ice cold water, too. If I limited myself to just pure water though, I'd definitely be struggling lol! My main struggle is I'm a gulper. I would drink lots of water pre-surgery, but not throughout the day, more like whole bottles at a time! Now I can't do that it's harder to get it all in. Or I forget I'm post surgery like an idiot and chug water and get that terrible forboding pain of doom reminding me I am no longer a person with a normal sized stomach capable of chugging a litre of water in the span of ten minutes LOL.

I'm losing weight super slowly so nobody's really asking questions, but my plan was to tell fellow fat people looking for a solution--after all it was my hairdresser's honesty about her surgery that lead me to learn how effective and life changing it is--but for the average joe, just say I changed my lifestyle. Which is 100% true. I realize doing that contributes to the myth among the never-obese that ~drastic permanent weight loss is totally possible if u just try hard enough~ but it's not my personal responsibility to combat that, especially knowing having to argue it over and over again with every joe on the street would be a huge time and energy suck. The information is out there, and if people refuse to take it in, that's on them, not me. But yes, I do plan on being honest with other people who could use the surgery to make their lives better. I want to share this feeling of hope and possibility with others as it was shared with me!

I have a husband a lot like yours. His opinion of my surgery has been "I don't think you need it, but I can't stop you." In general he's a very reticent, no-nonsense, non-touchy-feely person. He was DEFINITELY worried about the risks of surgery, and also a little disbelieving that it was the only way I could accomplish my goals. My mother is my support. She comes to many of my clinic appointments with me, she was there in the hospital when I had surgery, she's my workout buddy... She is 100% on board with my surgery and is happy I went through with it, and did everything in her power to get me there. But then, she is married to my father, who is obese like me and now has type 2 diabetes and everything else. She knows first hand what obesity can lead to, and obviously she's motivated to not have me go through what my dad has. When I came home from surgery, my husband cleaned house, brought me my protein drinks, and cared for our kids. He took a week off work just to keep the household running. He didn't participate in my pre-surgery process, but he was supportive in his own way, which was not letting me crash and burn once I'd made my mind up and gone through with this thing. His attitude definitely gets on my nerves or is disheartening sometimes, as he can be very hard to talk to about my insecurities and fears because he doesn't do platitudes or white lies either. When I was having a bad pain day he straight up said "you chose to do this" so I totally get it! But I think I have come to appreciate that his disagreeing with me but butting out... IS a form of support. It's not super involved cheerleading, but it is making an effort to respect my autonomy. He's not sabotaging me. He's not pleading with me or fighting me or discouraging me. If he's having those thoughts, he's actively keeping them to himself because he knows this is what I want for myself and it's my right to do it. My experience on bariatric forums seems to be that having surgery as a wife sometimes brings out the absolute WORST in some husbands. I'll take my dude making a concerted effort to stay neutral and mind his own business. So after all that, I'd say... find the kind of cheerleading support you need elsewhere. A family member, a friend, or maybe in a bariatric support group (we have a great local one, some of the ladies in it even came and visited me in hospital after!) Let your husband support you in his own way. Certainly don't put up with put downs, sabotage, and nastiness, but maybe alter your expectations and acknowledge what he IS doing. My man didn't go to my clinic appointments or encourage my choice the way my mother did, but he did stay on top of my pain med schedule! Another benefit to finding support elsewhere... sometimes your husband will come around on his own. Case in point: my husband doesn't dance. He refuses. Even at our wedding, he only did the one obligatory dance. Not his thing. So when I joined a local swing dancing class in an attempt to get active and make new friends, I invited a girlfriend along with me to be my dance buddy! And low and behold, a couple months in, here comes my husband asking if I'd like him to go to a couples class! After all that time badgering him and cajoling him and begging him and telling him he was hurting my feelings by not dancing with me... I just went my own way and suddenly he felt left out!

Take care hun! I hope it gets better for you soon and you get to be pain free!

I didn't want malabsorption, didn't want to alter my anatomy as much as the RNY does, and didn't want to deal with too many food restrictions. Everything I read said the weight loss is comparable and it all comes down to compliance, so I feel good about my choice. Losing slow but steady!

I brought sooooo much stuff i ended up not using, including the housecoat! My gown was big enough there was zero issue with my butt hanging out the back. I did use my slippers though!

Are the surgeons in the ER you went to experienced with bariatric surgery patients? I might seek a second opinion if not. I know in our city there is one hospital's ER we're supposed to go to if we have problems post-surgery as the doctors in other ERs might not have the same expertise to catch issues unique to bariatric patients. New or worsening pain is definitely on our list of red flags. Do you have any other symptoms, for example fever, redness, or hot spots on your belly? I'm four weeks out and have no pain at all. The worst I get is a slight tugging sensation on my big incision when I'm swimming, but even that has faded since my first swim. I hope you get it figured out! And good for you for actually going to a doctor about it! Too many people delay seeing a doctor...

I'm not saying you have to prove me right or wrong? I'm just genuinely saying to you I am glad to be proven wrong and happy for you that you are doing well breastfeeding post-op. I'm admitting I was wrong in my initial post. I didn't think you could breastfeed post-surgery due to the typical limitations of the post op diet where many people struggle to get in enough calories and fluids to maintain their own bodies let alone making milk for another person, but you're doing it and that's great. Honestly. I'm really not sitting here hoping you fail just so I can feel superior, okay? I'm really not that much of a b***h LOL. I didn't mean "choose breastfeeding or surgery" period forever and ever, I just meant... if you feel very strongly about breastfeeding as a mother, then postponing your surgery is the best way to make sure you are able to breastfeed as long as you want. For some people delaying the surgery 6 months to a year is better than potentially risking that chance to breastfeed. That's a fair comment to make. Not everyone is going to make it work as you have. For some people like you it will work and is working, and for some people they won't be able to make it work... and among that second group there will be moms who make the transition to formula without too much guilt or sadness, and others for whom that will be a much harder thing to deal with. Moms in that second group may very well say "it's not worth it to risk having surgery now when I can have it 6 months from now when my baby isn't EBF anymore". I'm sorry I didn't communicate that very well in my initial post, but that's all that I meant. Realistic expectations based on the typical experiences of post-op diet and fluid intake as per everything I've read and seen from people postop on this and other forums. As far as I'm concerned, the last thing a person needs to hear is "go ahead and have the surgery and I promise your recovery will go great and you'll definitely be able to breastfeed no problem!" and then that woman not doing as well as all that and feeling like a failure. So how about a balance of "it can be done but depending on your recovery it's not guaranteed so weigh the pros and cons for you and your baby"? My well wishes to you were and are genuine so there's no need for scare quotes implying some kind of ulterior motive or ill intent on my part. I've been nothing but genuine and polite to you in the course of this thread, but by all means, treat me however you like.

Good luck with your surgery! Coming up so fast now!!!

I know firsthand how hard but also how amazingly rewarding it can be. I'm glad you're working through your supply issues and have good support to keep it going. I would be very very happy to hear you prove me wrong that it can't be done post op.

I'm not trying to discourage anyone from anything. Someone asked for advice and I gave the most realistic, balanced advice I could think of based on my post op experience as a mom. I'm glad you're doing so well but you can't expect that EVERYONE will. Hearing multiple perspectives seems the best way to make a well-thought-out decision, is it not? Your perspective, the perspective of someone still having a tough time a month later... Plan for the worst, then be happy when you get the best, right?

I'm glad you're doing so well, then! If you have the blessing of your surgeon and it's working for you then it's obviously working for you. Wishing you all the success in the world at breastfeeding!

I agree with @OutsideMatchInside... (as I often do LOL). If you are not tracking your food, that is a good starting point, then look at ways to increase your protein. If you can't eat much, everything you put into your mouth should have value to you in terms of protein and nutrients. You have a limited amount of space in your stomach and times to eat in your day, so use them well! Eating too little (and of the wrong foods) is no more beneficial to weight loss than eating too much at times. Are you seeing someone with regards to your depression? It's hard to accomplish ANYTHING when depression is looming over you. If you can get that under control, the rest will follow. You may need counselling or talk therapy, or to take anti-depressants, or of course a combination! Treating your depression is just as important as treating a physical ailment. It is damn near impossible to exercise when you're depressed, but if you can get just well enough to get out there, exercise helps with the depression! (Trust me, I've been there!) Since you have pain and mobility issues, you may need to see an exercise therapist to help you find ways to exercise that work with your body. Exercise is essential to your overall health and yes, weight loss and maintenance. You may not be able to hit the gym or join a marathon, but you can find ways to be active that work with your body and your limitations. You may need help to get there and that is okay! Weight loss generally lasts for 18 months, so at 7.5 months it's likely you haven't stopped, however to bump yourself out of the stall you will have to make some changes. Doing that with depression is hard, though... so address the depression first!

I'm four weeks out. Definitely losing more hair than I would normally, but it's not distressing or noticeable other than in the shower when I wash my hair and wind up with five or six hairs stuck to my fingers. But I haven't had any complications and am doing very well hitting my protein goals.

I took my meds the morning of surgery (on advice of pre-op clinic), then was back on my meds the day I got home from surgery. I take Wellbutrin and Concerta. I didn't crush either of them. (Couldn't crush or split the concerta if I tried!)

Yep I've heard of people being allowed to have yogurt on their pre-op diet. I wasn't, but others were depending on their calorie and nutrient needs pre surgery. You're still going to be fasting after midnight or whatever the day before surgery, I'm sure. You can always call to clarify with your clinic team, but if your surgeon says yogurt is okay, then trust them

I breastfed one child until two years old (and I only weaned because I was forced to due to medical reasons) and the other was using formula by two months old... So I've been in both positions. I don't think it's a matter of "just wean LOL" because I know how special breastfeeding can be, but I also don't think it's a matter of "breastfeeding should take priority over everything ever." Some mothers prioritize breastfeeding in their lives and others do not. There's nothing wrong with either mom or either choice as long as baby is fed and mom feels comfortable with her decision. I definitely think that if you're going to regret stopping nursing early, or if stopping nursing is going to cause hardship in your home, then delay the surgery until you ARE comfortable weaning, whenever that may be. Breastfeeding aside, though, I would STILL recommend postponing the surgery for any mom of a baby under one. I just think trying to care for an infant while recovering from a major surgery such as this one sounds like gruelling punishment for everyone involved. For those pre-ops saying "moms care for babies after c-sections though" I'd like to note that there are many c-section veterans who went into bariatric surgery thinking it would be the same or no worse than their c-section and discovered the opposite. Not saying caring for a newborn after a c-section is any easy feat (C-section moms are warriors!) but this surgery knocks you out HARD... Even if you don't have any complications, you're barely getting any calories for energy, you're on some heavy duty painkillers, and you have to put a lot of mental effort and time into making sure you're eating and drinking enough. I just can't imagine doing that when you're also caring for a baby around the clock. You're practically a newborn yourself sipping soup every two hours and struggling to poop LOL. So yeah... unless you've got a seriously urgent or compelling reason to have this surgery right away, (your insurance is running out, if you reject this date you won't get another one for five years, etc...) I'd wait until baby is a little older. But at the very least, be realistic and know that breastfeeding likely isn't going to happen post-op and that you're going to need way more support for yourself and that baby than you probably realize now. Your surgeon should know you're breastfeeding, as well. That's important medical info!

I think SOME of that is similar, but no definitely not the same. The pain and fatigue are there, but after a c-section you can eat and drink! There is no way you can adequately breastfeed a child on 600 calories a day and struggling to get in even 20 oz of water. You are already at serious risk of dehydration post-op... there's no way you can produce milk at the same time! I think it's an either/or. Surgery OR breastfeeding. Both is completely unrealistic. And what you choose is up to your priorities as a mom. Neither choice is the wrong one, it's just what works for you and your baby. Postpone the surgery or wean the baby a little earlier than you'd planned. Either way, life goes on. As for the pain and fatigue and lifting restrictions... speaking as a post-op mom of a toddler, you will need ROUND THE CLOCK help for at least the first couple weeks. "Oh my husband only works 9-5 but is home otherwise and my mom is staying with me for two days post-op" ain't gonna cut it. Even after the pain and fatigue get more manageable, you can't lift that baby in or out of the crib, or in and out of the carseat. I had an arrangement that my husband stayed home from work the first week when I was at my worst, then when he went back, he would go in a little later so he could get the baby out of the crib in the morning. Then my mom would come over to either get her into the car for us to do errands or to put her in and out of her crib for naps. She'd go home when my husband came back from work. Then my husband would put the baby to bed at night. It's honestly been pretty tough. I don't regret having my surgery at all, but my kiddo is almost 2 and walking. I don't know if I'd be able to handle the pressures of a significantly younger baby who is still feeding through the night and needs to be carried everywhere. Not unless I had my mother or husband there 24/7 for those 6 weeks you have the lifting restrictions. You've got a decision ahead of you, mama.

I'm a month post-op and I've been really enjoying the clothes so far! Can't wait to have even more choices! My longer term "looking forward to it" goal is to join my husband's company soccer team. It seems like a lot of fun but I need to get into pretty decent shape to do that kind of running! I'm planning on doing Couch to 5K to prepare.

I have PCOS and insulin resistance as well. Even before I started changing my diet, I found introducing an exercise routine helped my insulin levels A LOT. Doing aquafit and then lap swimming 3x per week made a huge change. It didn't help me lose much weight (about 7lbs, then another ten once I got my diet in check), but if you're already dieting then maybe the exercise will help! Here's an article about it: https://www.diabetesdaily.com/blog/2014/09/exercise-fight-insulin-resistance-with-the-most-powerful-weapon/

I definitely find I get "hungry feelings" at non-mealtimes when I'm not being diligent enough about taking my acid reducing meds.

I went once my incisions were healed and the scabs were falling off. 4 weeks out. I probably started a little earlier than was ideal but I couldn't stand waiting to get back into the pool again! I need my laps for my mental health. Your surgeon will have a timeline they prefer to stick to. I hear between 4 and 6 weeks generally, depending on the surgeon.

My suggestion? Find something new to "like". I'm not in any position to comment on the strength of addiction to cigarettes because I've never been there, but your reason for risking serious ulcers is... kind of lacking in urgency LOL. I "liked" drinking six cans of Pepsi a day and eating out five times a week, but those likes no longer fit into my new lifestyle and making the most of my surgery and my health. Now I like going swing dancing and I like doing laps in the pool and following them up with a soak in the hot tub, and I like watching hockey with my family and I like going to see vintage movies at our historical movie theatre in town. Give yourself permission to change! One day those things you "like" won't seem nearly so important anymore. I couldn't even imagine my life without my beloved Pepsi and now I barely give a crap. And if it's less "I like it" and more "I'm addicted to it still but don't want to use that word", then people in this thread have some great suggestions on how to kick the habit. No shame in asking for help! But if you're looking for permission to start smoking again, AGAINST your surgeon (who is the medical expert)'s advice... I don't know that you're gonna get it from anyone else but fellow smokers in denial!

OMG you had surgery! it feels like two days ago you were still a month out! how are you doing!?!?!??!?! /thread hijack

Unsweetened iced herbal or fruit tea is my go-to. Davids Tea is a chain here in Canada that does all kinds of amazing loose leaf teas. They're not always calorie free, but I'll take 5-10 calories a serving if it means I'm getting my fluids in. I found water started tasting good again at around three weeks post-op. I've never liked those artificial "water enhancers", I find they taste nasty and I feel like I'm doing no better for myself than drinking diet pop other than the carbonation factor. The suggestion of Trulemon is a good one too, I love those. You could also infuse your own water with berries or cucumber.