Tanya Gaud Paye

Honestly, the idea of having surgery was always in the back of my mind. At least since my mother had her Gastric Bypass in 2004. I honestly never thought I'd be anywhere near this weight (currently 285) and it terrifies me. It's a weird thing. You live your busy life every single day and you don't really feel any different from day to day. Then one day something happens, either a special event or an "unapproved" photo is posted by your kids or even just that the roller coaster seat is a tighter fit than you remember. Then you look in the mirror and you realize that "a little overweight" went out the door a long time ago. I'm scared to have this surgery, but if I'm being honest with myself I'm more scared of not having it. Of course I'm scared of the actualy surgery part... mostly of anything happening and me not surviving it. I have a husband and 2 teenage daughters so the thought of anything happening to me and leaving them alone is scary. I'm also scared of screwing up after I have the surgery. Will I adjust to my new lifestyle or will I fail and have to go through the process of losing myself all over again. Being overweight has taken a toll on my marriage, social life and career. I am choosing not to let that continue. I am choosing to change my path and begin a new journey. I would love to hear from others who are also starting their journey or are on the other side of surgery.