Wheetsin

There's no reason to worry about our ability to remain level-headed. We're probably some of the more level-headed people you'll ever meet, because that's just it - we use our heads. * ETA - that's going to be read as "believers don't use their heads". Which isn't exactly what I mean, but kind of is - read on before jumping to conclusions. When my religious friends lose someone, and plead to some mysterious force, and believe with all their hearts that the person is just transformed, and that they will be reunited -- I wonder about their level-headedness. And to a large degree I believe they continue life in a state of denial. When you believe life ends, period - you accept the person's death as the end. But when you believe the person is "transformed" into another form and "living" somewhere else, with all your other friends & family that is dead - such is not the case. When my grandfather died, somewhat unexpectedly, probably about 4 years ago, I watched him take his last breath. And after they pronounced him dead I walked over and closed his eyes. It was so final - knowing that he was gone. And it hurt. And if I needed comfort I turned to my husband or my parents, and to myself. But nothing happened that bring on a lack of level-headedness. That's something people with faith don't seem to understand. I already know this is not going to come across properly or well, but I'll say it anyway and hope that it is taken as it is meant. It will probably echo Alexandra's recent post to a degree. When you believe that life ends at death, and that the person is utterly and irrevokably gone, death becomes a very rational thing. It happens, and it sucks, but you absolutely accept it as a final event. It hurts, but you understand it happens. You are left with a hole that you can either start working to fill, or you throw a rug over it and pretend that it isn't there. When I was younger and experienced one of my first deaths, I used to envy my religious friends to a degree, because how easy it must make things to believe that mortal separation is only temporary, and that you're reunited "on the other side" - and how much less potent the sting of death is when you see it as a temporary state. And while my religious friends could say "only his/her shell died, they're in a better place" and really believe it, I said, "That's it, they're gone." I used to think - how easy they have it. Because we're so acutely aware of our own mortality, and the finality of it, I think it has different meaning for us. When you see things with this kind of finality, rationale becomes your best medicine. BTW, I say "we" but am certainly not the voice of non-believers everywhere. In this case "we" refers to DH and I, because we share the same ideas. Other non-believers may well disagree with me.

First thing to keep in mind is that weight does not equal fat. Unless you're going WAY WAY WAY overboard (which you probably even can't) you did not gain 4 pounds of fat overnight. Just between morning and evening, the body can easily fluctuate as much as 8 - 10 lbs, and more or less, by adjusting its own Fluid reserves. I've fluctuated as much as 15 lbs in one day. Are you female? If so, perhaps you've started retaining Water. If not, perhaps you've started retaining water anyway. Lots of things can impact water retention: environmental temperature and humidity, high sodium meals, physical activity, and on, and on... Things will reach an equilibrium and take care of themselves. When you are retaining fluids for whatever reason, they tend to come off just as quickly as they came on, though they may stick around for a few days.

And utterly wacko. Like father, like son. Whomever commented on "fixin to" - they say that here, too. And "'bout like to". As in, "He got so mad, he 'bout like to kill me" or "If he didn't stop yelling I was 'bout like to tape his mouth shut." *cringe*

Differents urgeons have different guidelines. When I was banded (just under a year ago) it was 12 months, and I hear that my surgeon has now stepped that back to 18 months. Mine also recommends a complete unfill, but IMO - I think I would decline it. People with RNY have babies, right? And we can eat more and better quality foods than they can (generally speaking). The flip side of that - I would guess the unfill is to help prevent a slip, because if you slip you're really not going to be eating well, and there's not much other than surgery (other than an unfill and crossed fingers) that can be done. I'm sure there are other reasons why it's recommended, but they're just guesses.

When I paint (as a hobby - canvas, and I enjoy doing wall murals) I just wear an old pair of overalls with a tshirt underneath. The overalls are cheap, or you could even buy a used pair. I find they're very handy. I can move as much as I need to, they keep the paint off me, and there are tons of pockets.

This always sounds like, "I believe just in case, because I'm afraid of the consequences that might come with not believing."

From the CDC:

Kat - they're fantastic. I plce them over egg cups to make little "bowls", and serve chicken salad (not the canned chicken and mayo, but a true homemade chicken salad), or sauteed mini prawns in them, when we have company. It's always one of the favorite appetizers. I also used to make bigger versions, put over taco forms, for "taco shells" when I was on Atkins.

I think I'm a bit on the fence with this one. The lifestyle is NOT for me personally, but I know a couple that has been married for over 10 years and are swingers. They have children and contend that their marriage is very happy and secure, and it certainly seems that is true. They just don't see marriage as meaning "you only have sex with him/her for the rest of your life", they see it as "you're the one he/she comes home to at night, and loves". Perhaps they have a better than average ability to differentiate between love and sex. And I think it depends on why you're doing the turning. Sometimes one partner really, really wants to experience a particular event, and the other partner really, really does not want to do it, nor do they want to "prevent" the other from having the experience. I really could argue it both ways. I would not cheat on my husband and I am confident my husband would not cheat on me. At the same time, I know that I am capable of having sex be nothing more than sex, and walking away with no emotional attachment.

Lisa, I agree. As I read that list, I was like "Yup, me too!"

Try this for some crunch, when you can have cheese. They melt away to nothing for me. Grate some fresh parmesan. Line a cookie sheet with baking paper. Place cheese by heaping tablespoons on the sheet, about 2" apart. Bake at 250 until golden brown. Remove and let cool. (You can also place them overthings to cool, like a taco form, if you want to use them as containers for something else).

I'm happy, but my weightloss has rivaled that which bypass patients have. Or at least it did, for a while. That made it easier, for sure. But I like knowing there's an expanded window. And I find a LOT of comfort in knowing that this is reversible, and that my insides remain as they should be. I have several friends with RNY, most at least 2 years out, and none are happy. Several have put their weight back on. Those that haven't make comments to me like, "I'm really beginning to see the long term effects of living with this thing... wish I'd thought more seriously about lap-band, but I just wanted it off fast."

Hi duck/roxie, The biggest factor in my weightloss, honestly, was that I had do much to lose. The weight came off lightning fast in the beginning. It has since REALLY slowed down. As for eating, I do watch my carb count but I don't obsess about it, and I do try to pick healthful foods. I don't eat red meat, and that helps manage caloric intake, but I don't count calories. I don't "diet", I just try to make good choices. I eat all of the same foods, except for what I've chosen to give up - namely the red meat and carbonated beverages. I also really restrict my processes "white" grains. I just no longer enjoy how they make me feel. Hope this helps.

No reason for all that, we were just answering the question you asked, no?

Lots of reasons. As some have already mentioned, many don't aspire to be married. Had our situation not been what it was, I don't know what DH and I would be married today, though we would certainly be together. Having sex. Sex and marriage are completely different faculties. Sex is an act (an immensely enjoyable one) in and of itself. It doesn't need nor define a marriage.

Hi synicalchick, and welcome. My BMI was at least as high as yours, I think a little higher, but I did not have motility or "reachability" issues, for the most part. It had gotten DAMN challenging to trim up "down there", because I couldn't really see beyond my stomach and had to do things blindly or using a mirror. And I had to learn to paint my toes with my legs crossed (man style) instead of being able to tuck my knee under my chin. Didn't have problems with the bum, but do have a suggestion. I used to volunteer in the physical therapy wing of a hospital, and they used to advise people who couldn't get to their bums (for whatever reason) to stand up slightly and bend forward, and then wipe from underneath. Granted you're always advised to wipe "away" from the rest of you, but they just told people not to go all the way. So bend forward, instead of bending around, and instead of reaching down and pulling back, reach back and pull forward. Just not all the way forward. Kind of liek how yuo'd move if you had a zipper at your tailbone, and wanted to zip yourself closed. Umm, I hope that makes sense.

Let me ask you guys this. And this is nothing more than opinion, so please feel free to comment. As I've said, virginity was long gone when I got married, so this isn't about me and you shouldn't feel hesitant to answer because you think it is. And I'm going to ask it outright and not worry about euphamisms, so if direct sex talk bothers you, don't read on. When you say "sex before marriage" - are you referring only to penal pentration of the vagina? (Mmm, sounds so romantic, eh?) Seriously. Because I know an awful lot of people who participate in sexual acts, but don't consider it sex. And would wear white on their wedding day, just because the man's penis has never penetrated the vagina, regardless of how much oral/anal/tweening/MM/whatever has occured. (MM = mutual masturbation, and "tweening" is when the penis is stimulated between some body part, e.g. breasts, butt cheeks) And I know other people who won't do any of this, because "sex is more than penetration", and would consider oral sex the same as losing their virginity.

Oh I had no idea it would be such an underground comment. Whippits (a point to Carlene) are the little cannisters of propellant used in whipped cream cans. Nitrous oxide. I didn't know this back then, but they're most commonly injected into balloons using a little transfer device... then the gas is inhaled from the balloon. I used to work for a family-owned music store, and they held a party for all staff (plus about 100 others). Lots of goings-on that I won't specify. We were getting ready to karaoke, and a girlfriend and I thought it would be funny to iunhale some of that helium before we got on stage. Only they weren't helium balloons... And what happened? Nothing, really. Inhaled, nothing, nothing, our voices weren't chaning and we couldn't figure out why, and then the most intense sensation washed over me. At the time I remember thinking "this is like having 20 orgasms at once". And my knees buckled, and all I could do was stay there, kneeling on the floor, overhwhelmed by the sensation. About 15 seconds later everything was gone and back to normal. Now all I want to do is make dental appointments when my husband is out of town.

Here's one. When I go to a store and have a quick and simple question, but wait my turn in line anyway. And then the entire time, the clerk is taking phone calls and making people in line wait to serve the people on the phone. I'm probably not explaining this very well, but I think people physically in the building should have priority, and if someone calls on the phone with a question, you ask them to hold until your line is gone or you tell them you're really busy and ask them to call back. You don't run off to find out their answer, and leave your line standing there. When the clerks are having a conversation, and I'm standing there like... hello? - that one gets me too. And (this has happened to me three times in the last week) when I go somewhere and ask a question, or call and ask a question, and I'm treated like an idiot because I didn't know the answer. And I hate restaurants that make the servers memorize the order, instead of letting them write it down. All it means is that I have to repeat myself 4 different times, and then send back something that's not right.

Nope. "More deserving" is a completely subjective statement. Never feel bad that you can afford something that others might not be able to. You made the money, you spend it for what you feel you want or need.

HI Tami, yes - I was too tight. That's why I had some removed. When I go back in we're going to take 0.2 cc "baby steps". Don't want to be too tight again.

I had surgery with Hoehn about a year ago. I had to wait about a month. I believe I had my consultation toward the end of January, and March 1 was the first opening he had. I had to go to 3 Sabapathy appointments. I know others who had to go to as many as 8 or 10. Just be honest with him and remember that needing more appointments doesn't mean anything's "wrong" - and they aren't about sanity, they're about helping you to change your behaviors and refocus your energy.

I have 2.5 now and am a little loose. 2.5 has carried me since about July of last year. A few weeks ago I went in and was brought up to 3.0, and that was too tight. So they unfilled me to 2, then brought me back to 2.5. So here I sit, still a little loose. My sweet spot, at least for a while, is going to be somewhere between 2.5 and 3.0.

I had this exact conversation with my parents & DH last night during dinner. My parents raised me liberally, and under that ideology - if I wanted to taste their alcohol I could taste it, but I was told "only at home". If I had a question about sex they would answer it, as long as it wasn't an inappropriate question (which - eww - I never wanted to know from either of my parents anyway). They never came out and told me, "If you want to have sex, we'd rather you do it here" but it was their preference. They DID make it clear that they would rather I do that, then be out in a field somewhere, or in a car somewhere, and made it VERY clear that they'd prefer I come talk to them and get the protection I needed, than be a teenage parent. And my parents found that by removing the "mystery" about these things, it worked, and it became no big deal. And because I was "allowed" to do it, it was never something I did to rebel, or for attention. And I was very resposnible about them. And I think their psychology worked. I've never been drunk in my life, and aside from an incidental whippit incident, I've never done drugs in my life, even though I was around it and had all the opportunity in the world.

(On the wedding night...) Oh honey, you were the BEST! Compared to... myself...? I lost my virginty long before I lost my bachelorette...ednesshoodity. I never even questioned whether or not I would wait until marriage to have sex. But I was never irresponsible about it. When I knew it was something I wanted to do, I talked to my mom about it and she helped me do what I needed to do. There's so much out there to learn, and enjoy. I have no regrets about not waiting. I think having sexual relationships with people gives you a type of relationship maturity you won't get any other way. Part of that is the ability to distinguish love from lust. I think pushing kids to wait until marriage for sex is going to... not a lot, other than give us a whole lot of people wanting to get married really early. Which is going to give us higher divorce ratings.