Jangy03253

Oh I tell them all the time how i feel.. I tell my husband the most that I cant understand why he does not protect me. But, all I get is I do not want to hear it.. Noone but the two of us have anything to do with our marriage and only the two of us can make decisions in our marriage. But, what he does not understand is when he just does not say anything about their behavior it just gives them the ok to do it more. I found out by asking his daughter today what i did to make her hate me so much.. she said i didnt do anything.. but he was her daddy and she didn't want to share him then and don't want to share him now. She also said that his mom feels the same. This is a very unhealthy relationship for him, for me, for everyone.. It is more so that they are his wives and i am not. I am trying to get someone in my court to be my voice thru surgery. Anyone in my family will do. Just so i can have my surgery and heal.. Then I will be making major life changing decisions. No marriage is healthy like this. Unfortunately, I love him dearly and I hate to know that it does not matter who it is.. me or someone else.. He will be a lonely man forever if they have anything to do with it.

Thanks that will defo be my next step. I am so close to surgery. Everything has been sent to the insurance company and we are just waiting for the ok to set the date. I came so far.. And, yes i also feel that it is a very unhealthy relationship to feel the way she does. But, was also told that she feels that his mom also feels the same way that i came between them and she didn't want to share him.. Why would you not want your loved one to be happy? I can't understand it? My family is 1500 miles away but never would they hate my husband just because he loved me. It would make them love him to see him making me happy. So, yes I now see it is never going to change. If I do not rethink my life in 5 years i will be in the same situation.. If I go thru with the surgery just a little healthier.. But, how can I have a healthy marriage with the women in his life feeling this way? It is very unhealthy to say the least for everyone.. I think especially my husband to know that there are family members that do not want him happy in life.

Thank you guys and girls for the encouragement. I know there is alot of things i need to rethink.. I am just scared to go thru such a big surgery with no support.. I mean i have the support groups, I have the psychiatrist ect.. But, its not the same as having family.. This surgery is huge.. It was a huge decision. I just do not want complications even death because my nerves are shot. In speaking to one of the family members today I was told that her reason for hating me was because she didn't want to share him. Then when I come into his life she was forced to share him. 5 years later and she still does not want to share him. I cant understand this. I am really trying to understand. As far as my husband he does not say much until he finally gets enough. But, in the meantime I am being treated horrible. I just feel all alone in it all.. I am sorry for rambling on.. I just don't know what way to turn now. I need this surgery for health reasons.. But, is it worth the risk of surgery being stressed out like I am?? Maybe talking to my doctor should be my next step.

Right now I am going through some stuff that I am not dealing well with. I am contimplating canceling surgery due to it. 5 years ago I left my family and moved 1500 miles away to marry the man I was so in love with. From the 1st day to now 5 years later I have not been accepted into this family. Day 1 should have been my clue when I was told by his mother that I was here to kill his daughter. Since then I have been screamed and cussed at, Hit, told my marriage was going to be tore apart by them. They even tell my husband lies. No matter what they have to do in order to make my life misserable and try to cause problems in my household. I have tried to deal with things for 5 years and accept his family because he is my husband and this is his family. But, its hard when its all pretend until they are caught doing something with ill intent. Then it is drama drama drama. I love my husband but have contimplated just leaving him because of his family. Why? Because it is never going to end. Things were going well for a couple months. Friday when I was so excited about having everything completed for my surgery and the doctor is sending my paperwork to insurance next tuesday i get my teeth kicked in again. Lies to my husband again.. And, then I was told skinny was not going to make me pretty. you have to be pretty fat. Sorry that she is fat and refuses to do anything about her weight. I am not doing this to be pretty or ugly. I am doing this for my health. I even had to hear how a coworker of hers is like a whore now that she lost weight. Now she is telling family diff things.. Of course I am not speaking to the family about it. But, with all this turmoil and my husband being my only support im scared to get the surgery. And, have been thinking very hard the last 2 days about cancelling it. Any thoughts?? My thoughts are I should have never started this journey without a good support system..

I am not sure what the pg/vg mix is. The bottle does not give the .%. I am having issues with my vaperizor. so I will ask them when I go to the store today. But it is defo 0% nicotine. I have not talked to the doctor about it yet. I do not see him till Oct. 1st. But, hope by then I can be working on that hand to mouth habit. I am not planning on vaping forever.. Just using it to help me along the way. Would like to eventually be off all of it.

I am going to have DS surgery. I have quit everything other then smoking. I went to a vape shop and got a set up with juice that has 0 nicotine. I have proven to myself that it is more the hand to mouth habit then the nicotine. Since I have no nicotine in my juice. I am new to vaping so tbh i am not getting much at all into my lungs.. most being about 5 times a day.. mainly into mouth and blow out. So, not truely vaping.. But, it is working for me. Has anyone ever vaped with the surgery? Does anyone know if it is allowed up to surgery date and after surgery? I feel that I am getting off the nicotine and do not ever want to go back to it.. But, I know it is going to take more then a couple months to break the hand to mouth habit that I have had for 30 years. Any, advice would be greatly appreciated...

Thank you.. But, there are no legal issues.. Only issues with my husbands family. They are not supportive of anything I do and should not shock me, its always been this way

Personally I wish I would have kept it between my husband, my family and myself. I have got nothing but bad mouthed by his side of the family. It is hard enough going through this without my family being here for support.. I thought I could lean on his.. Boy was I wrong. So, that taught me to keep things to myself for now.

Aug. 6th.. What can I say about Aug. 6th? Its my anniversary, we are having in law issues.. Anything to bring me down while going thru this. They have never been a good support for me. Well, other then that I am going today to get my last 2 years of weight history that i need.. Finally found it at a local hospital. Visiting my Dr. for my 4th diet appt. 20 lbs down now woo hoo.. Going to the psyc doc to help deal with these in laws and to help me with the smoking. Then to a Protein tasting class.. Boy is my day full.

<a href='http://www.bariatricpal.com'><img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/tickers/255851-jangy03253/bodyweight.png?ts=1436455141' /></a>

Well, I have completed all the pre op testing.. I have 2 more support groups, 3 more diet visits.. Last one on Oct. 1st. then last nutrition appt after date is set. I am also going thru weekly relaxation therapy with the psychiatrist that did my psyc eval. He is helping me quit smoking and is a wonderful support thru this. He also had surgery a few months back with my doctors. I am 1500 miles away from my family and my husband well he is a man. So, he does not understand all this. They did find some issues in pre op testing.. but 2 of them can be corrected at the time of surgery. The rest well we just have to watch it for now. I am 13 lbs down already and i am greatful. How do you get the weight counters?? Hope all has a great day..

Hi. I am new to all of this. I have been sick for 1 1/2 years and finally my cardiologist said time for WLS. I have been told by all of my doctors it will not fix all of my problems but will help at least 50% of them. I am so looking forward to it. Although, I am getting overwhelmed with all of the appointments. I have 10 appointments in June for all the pre op testing. Insurance is a nightmare with getting the autho for all of these appointments also. My sister went thru WLS many years ago. So, I kinda have an idea what i am looking at. Although she had the RYN and I am going to be having the DS. I just figured if I posted here and maybe see I was not the only one overwhelmed with the process it will make it a little easier for me. I am terrified to go thru this and excited all at the same time. I am ready to be able to go outside and play with my grand babies and be able to do the things my husband and I have always loved to do that has gotten harder and harder over the past 1 1/2 years. Looking forward to meeting new friends on here going thru or that have gone thru what I am starting.