Keyo

Hello Everyone!
 
My name is Keyonni, but I like to be called Keyo. I am currently 32 years old and live in New York with relatives for now. I am on SSI for Scoliosis and PTSD, but want to work. Over the years my weight has been up and down and was at its worse while I was married. My highest weight was 300 lbs or a little higher and I was getting dangerously closer to getting diabetes. Like most people I was in denial, and didn't want to hear anything about my weight and diabetes, etc.
 
I separated from my husband in 2011 and finalized my divorce in 2012. During that time I received my GED and tried to cope with my emotional issues through food and sex. After becoming suicidal I went in to see a Psychologist and have been assigned one who I have worked with for 3 years. Last year I saw my Orthopedic surgeon who had known me since I was 14 years old. He told me for the final time that if I didn't lose weight and get this spinal fusion I might not see the age of 55! He recommended bariatric surgery and suggested the lap band, but I later chose the sleeve as I felt I needed something a little more aggressive to lose weight and keep it off.
 
Nobody wants to die, and this was the final push I needed to accept that I had a problem. I am still struggling in my head about if I will regret the surgery or not, but I am willing to take the risk for the betterment of my health and future; and also in hopes that I can get spinal fusion and stop scoliosis from progressing further.
 
I have been adapting my diet since last year and feel good about the weight lost so far, but I am an emotional eater and picky eater, so it has been challenging. Right now I am fighting borderline anorexia because I literally am afraid to eat anything if I am not hungry. My surgical team is monitoring me closely and trying all they can to help me in this time of importance.
 
I literally have no outside support, no friends, and shaky relationships with family. I have joined bariatric pal in hopes of meeting some friends and feeling like I have a support group to help me get through this upcoming surgery and beyond. In the meantime I am trying many different activities to transition from emotional eating.
I have a Youtube vlog where I post videos talking about anything going on in my life. I have a tumblr blog which pretty much does the same thing. I have gotten back into writing and drawing again (two childhood hobbies). My written works are posted on writing.com and my artwork on Deviantart.com
Lastly, I have a twitter to keep interested people up to date about what I am doing.
 
I have many more interest but will save them for people interested in getting to know me more.
 
I am so glad I joined this place!
 
Keyo