goodnuff

At the end of November I let my manager know I was planning to have gastric bypass in 2015 and asked when would be the best time for our department for me to be on leave between April and July. I was aware of 3 other leaves that would be overlapping that time between January and June and was surprised when he replied with "early April" because all of the other leaves included some part of April. At the end of December I asked, out of courtesy, if April would still be the best time. He acted like I was out of my mind thinking that April would work with all of the other leaves then caught himself and stated he'd see what he could do about coverage for that time. I let him know that there were "prerequisites" I needed before getting insurance approval and that they had to be done with in 6 months of surgery. If this was going to be put off longer than that I needed to know so I could cancel appointments. I received an email a few days later stating to go ahead with my requirements and to plan for a timeframe that would get me back before summer....which would be April-ish. Two and a half weeks later he tells me that in fact April would not work and is there any way I could have it between mid-February and mid-March. I said I'd do my best. And I did. I completed my insurance requirements within 5 days. I was approved by insurance last week and when I told him he said he didn't have anyone to cover me yet but had been working on it since December and that because there were two unexpected leaves he'd have to let me know. In anticipation of an approval I had had him sign papers for leave and sent them to Human Resources, the follow up documentation was due by tomorrow but without a surgery date I could not get the medical certification. I called HR to discuss this and was told that technically I didn't need managements approval as long as I had given sufficient notice (30 days) which I had so I could schedule surgery if I wanted to. So of course I did. Once again, out of courtesy I sent an email to my manager to let him know. I can't be certain of what happened next but he must have forwarded my email to HR and to the leave coordinator because I got an email back from the leave coordinator stating that I misunderstood because I was not approved until they received the medical certification. She knew that I couldn't get that until I had a date scheduled. My manger has not contacted me but one of my co-workers sent a random text asking if I had scheduled my surgery. Now I sit here, a ball of anxiety, because I work tomorrow and I have no idea what he might say to me. I'm sure he'll be upset and play the "I thought we were working on this together" card. Why do I feel bad about making myself a priority and how do I not let him sway my decision to put my needs first? I thought I'd be celebrating the insurance approval and date setting but instead I feel anxious about how my co-workers and manager are going to react. From now through June there are going to be other leaves and goodness knows what else might crop up in that time and I feel that if I wait until it's perfect for my department it may never happen. Any advice?

Other: My insurance approved but my manager is dragging his feet about giving me time off work, even though I discussed it with him months ago, due to other employees being out. I'm not eligible for FMLA yet so it doesn't seem like there's anything I can do.

I'm sassy so I'm probably going to respond with,"Oh you mean you did it the statistically less successful and more temporary way? I hope it works for you the next time you do it "the hard way" again"

I'm pre-op but this is one, of many, things I knew I needed to practice ahead of time. I bought tasting forks and spoons, smaller plates and bowls and am using an app called Eat Slower. It is unreal how long a minute feels and how long I'd eat if I ate my "normal" sized meals. It took me 45 minutes to eat two eggs and 1 cup of quinoa this morning. I love the app, I can put my phone on my leg with my hand over it at restaurants and feel the timer vibrate without my companions noticing. Hope you find something that helps. M