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For those following this, I edited the original post to include the following. This pertains to dealing with Volcano ass, it also applies to those people who live in warm areas of the country and world where they can exercise outdoors and work up a good sweat. **Edit, I forgot when writing this to add something I take regularly, however I make SURE to take it when in Volcano mode for more than 24 hours. When your ass is erupting, and your are loosing mass amounts of Water, you are also loosing critical minerals that are required to support life. While I spoke about increasing water, and you should, during these times I make sure to add (in my case my water canteens are 30oz) 2 NUUN tablets. They are essentially sugar free Gatorade. You can read about them here and buy them as well from that site (Amazon), they are effervescent but that only lasts for like 20 minutes, so drop a tablet or two into a bottle of water, and let it sit unopened in the fridge for 1/2 an hour and the carbonation is gone. They have a fairly mild flavor, but I've tried every flavor and while some I like better than others, there is none that I do not like at all.

@ Good advice, i'll add it to the original post. Happy Holidays!

@@cherri2082 Any surgery is a risk. Although I bet farting from your stomach is kinda funny. I wish you a safe and successful surgery and a Very happy holiday season! @@cherri2082 Good, then I am hitting the mark. Laugh and Learn, the two concepts need not be separate but employed together to maximize participation. I wish you a Very happy holiday season! @@sharkgirl I was literally sitting here in my chair laughing out loud after I though that one up. It's at the bottom of the initial post now. I am glad someone else found it as funny as I did. I with you a Very happy Holiday Season. And that goes for everyone here on these forums, and to those who can no longer be here, our fallen hero's, our Vets who made the ultimate sacrifice, Have a Very happy holiday season! And to those who can no longer be with us, know that you are thought of often!

I have been reading studies in JAMA and elsewhere for well over a year, looking at all kinds of statistics. Initially my research was to determine which bariatric surgery was the best choice. Even after attending an informational seminar, where my surgeon went on to call the BNY GB the “Gold Standard” I had more reading to do. As it turns out for me, as someone who has taken medication to avoid GERD for the last 20 years, and my GERD evolved to the point that I now have Barrett’s esophagus, however it has not spread nor is there any signs of dysplasia so that is okay, but it ruled out the Sleeve for me. The band is no longer actively pushed, in fact the number of revisions from band to GB in 2014 actually was higher than the number of people getting the band for the first time. My surgeon said that in his opinion in 10 years the band will be considered a historical procedure and no longer done, or if still done, only on a very small segment of the bariatric group as a whole. So why do we fail to continue succeeding? Let’s start by defining failure, in the context of this post. The failure I am talking about is, having surgery, getting to your goal weight, then after a year (or more significantly at three and five years out) gaining back a larger percentage of weight than is expected. The current system wide average, is that it is expected that all patients will gain back about 10% of the weight lost. It is less in the GB group then the sleeve, and the band is worst of them all. Now understanding what I mean by failure to continue succeeding, here is the bad news. No one has done any respectable studies looking at WHY we fail to continue to succeed, the studies mostly compare success rates between the various surgeries and things like additional surgery, readmission rates, complication etc. I think I can explain why some people fail to continue to succeed, and when you think about it makes sense. It is actually the opposite of a positive new thinking called the “Aggregation of Marginal Gains” look at this link to read about it. It is a way to live life. To break it down, simply stated, you improve everything within your sphere of influence by 1%, the sum of all those increases can be, and if done correctly, quite significant. But you have to fully embrace the concept for it to work. When I say EVERYTHING within your sphere of influence I mean everything. A great example, when I used to cross the road going for my morning walk, I waited until an opening in traffic then I took a diagonal path across the road. This represented the easiest way to cross. Now I refuse to turn unless making a 90 degree turn. I improved my step count crossing roads by 1%. Nothing Earth shaking, but it adds up. Park 1% further away from the door. Walk upstairs instead of the elevator. Which I already did, however now I walk ½ a flight further than I need to go and them go down. 1%. Grasp the concept as a whole, and just imagine, improving everything by 1%, and not just once. Taking the stair example, I started off walking up just a couple additional steps. Now it’s a ½ a flight plus a couple extra steps. Soon I’ll be up to a full additional flight of stairs. Continue to push for 1% changes. So now that this great concept is out there, you are probably asking yourself, what this long winded tool is getting at. We fail to continue succeeding, that is regain more weight than expected, in the exact opposite way we succeed. 1% at a time. You’re at your goal, your weight fluctuates up and down 2 pounds. It’s been a long time since surgery and you are not as sensitive to sugar as you were initially. So you are at a party and say what the heck and you have a small piece of cake. You don’t dump, in fact you have no ill effects at all. This is the start of the end. One piece of cake leads to two, which leads to other things you would not eat, but you’ve become tired of all the cooking, and a quick meal, is temping. Then it happens. You get on the scale and you are up three or four or even five pounds. Knowing you lost the weight before, you think no biggie, I’ll just make sure I eat right. Some do some don’t. Some become in their own mind failures at that point and fail to see the reason to continue with the program. *(Note the title of this post is not why we fail, NEVER think of yourself as a failure, EVER!! Look back at old pictures and remember you are a success!! Do not let the negative thoughts become reality, do not set yourself up for failure. Remember the old adage, “If you are not planning to succeed, you are planning to fail) They stop going to the gym, start old eating habits back up, and sure enough as they expected, the weight comes back as well. So why do I post this now, and post it here? Because this post seeks to reinforce that which should have been taught to you in whatever mental health process your surgical group had you go through. The understanding that you are making a LIFELONG LIFESTYLE CHANGE emphasis is justified. I don’t have any cute puns or. gifs to attach. This post, I hope will help those approaching goal, those at goal and those who are new or even still pre-surgery, to understand, these changes never go away. When you remove something from your diet, it’s removed. I think of the things I choose not to eat as things I am allergic too. I choose a bit more extreme diet than many, I do not eat corn, potatoes, rice, flour, Pasta, sugar, fructose or anything processed. If there is something on the label I cannot pronounce, it’s processed, and I refuse to eat it. There are exceptions. I am going to see Star Wars Saturday evening, and I will probably cough up $50 for a small popcorn and a bottle of Water. This to me is acceptable. I Choose not to eat certain foods, but I can also eat them with the understanding that it is limited. So if you read this whole post, congratulations on your tenacity. Hopefully it will enlighten you. Hopefully it will help you affect positive changes in your life. The Aggregation of Marginal Gains is a simple concept to employ, but life altering. And lastly always remember this, if nothing else from this post, put up a sticky note on your fridge or inside your car, or the side of a computer monitor, anywhere where you will see it every day, and remember this “I attained success 1% at a time, that is slowly, I will stop being successful in the same way, 1% at a time, or slowly. I must always be consciously aware of what I am eating and continue to plan to succeed” Happy Holidays to all, and to those in your lives!!!

I just made myself laugh, I have a new slogan for the group, I am going to attach it to the original post. LMFAO POWER TO THE POOPER!!!

@@sharkgirl Best of luck, you show that poop who's the boss! Take control! Even if you have to resort to MOM. It happens. @@gpmed For me there are two scenarios that play out, Sahara and Volcano caused by natural forces and brought on by unnatural forces. For example the Sahara I am currently going through is due to medication, when today's dose of MOM kicks, in, it should be over quickly, that has been my experience. Same thing with Volcano if some med causes an acute ass malfunction, either I get used to it, or change the med. No amount of dietary changes will overcome painkiller induced Sahara. On the flip side there are both conditions caused naturally, and this is where I tend to agree with you. If I get volcano as a result of illness or eating something that my ass is not fond of, it can take days to resolve itself. The same with Sahara. My standard line of defense is to examine my diet in detail and determine what I did to cause this, and to drop back a dietary stage, where I knew everything I was eating was ass approved. Once the culprit is identified and removed, normality follows soon thereafter. I guess and lastly there are those times when for no reason at all, my ass locks up, and I mean tighter than a clams ass, and we all know that to be waterproof. These are the most perplexing times as I cannot explain why what is happening is happening, and no solution is readily available. Immodium, or MOM, depending on which was my ass failure is happening.

@@Sajijoma I nearly cried laughing when I saw the log picture. In fact it's what got this whole topic going. I thought it would be a good way to interject some humor into a serious topic. And I still laugh whenever I see it. As for @@gpmed we are very different. While squirting can cause some problems, like not being able to confidently leave the house. It's predictable. Once everything is gone, I know nothing is going to happen for a day or two. I hate HATE sitting in the bathroom trying to pass a pebble. Sahara ass, to me, is the worst thing ever. But to each his own. We all I guess have different desires and preferences for our asses. I prefer minimal effort and time pooping, so if I am a bit on the loose side, that is fine with me. I guess the delineation line for me is, if I can a) read and entire book without a significant poop, thats bad. if I get off the bowl and am all sweaty with bloodshot eyes after passing what amounted to some ass rocks, thats bad. If I go, in sit down and explode and in 30 seconds I am done, I can live with that.

@@sharkgirl The bottle says it will produce a bowl movement within a 1/2 hour to 9 hours, take before bed. Now WHY in the hell would I want to take something that is going to make me run my ass off, well no it needs to come along, run to the bathroom while I am trying to sleep? Drama? Perhaps there is a masochist who works there and the thought of people going Volcano and erupting in bed is amusing to them? I have taken MOM three times. The first time produced a lot of rumbling, no poop. The second time was like Mt St Helens, I just exploded, the third time, not a whole lot. That third time btw, was 4 hours ago. I have a shoulder injury and my Doctor gave me Ultram, which plugs me up tight. Miralax was not helping, so I broke out the MOM. If I don't have a big dump today, I am sure tomorrow I will.

@@Leanmachine That is the entire idea behind this topic. It's a hard topic to discuss openly, especially with strangers. I try to keep it funny yet informative to keep people reading and learning. We are here to support each other, and this post is my attempt to give back to the community as a whole, after they have been so supportive of me. So as long as you are still laughing, I am right on target. Happy Holidays!

@@gpmed I have one friend who is I think 12 years out, I have posted about his problems a number of times. He still has ass issues, however, he eats whatever he wants, you would never know he had had a GB done watching him eat. His portions are smaller than they were pre surgery, however he eats nothing but garbage, so I don't know that I can attribute his ass problems to the surgery or diet.

@@gpmed I can relate to MOM affecting your gut. Mine rumbled a lot the first day, but it was not painful or uncomfortable just noisy. It DEFINITELY got things moving inside, however it took a second dose on the second day to product a poop. And I would agree I overshot (or overshat LMAO) the target, however, it was an intense 20 minutes, to perhaps a 1/2 an hour, but I was cleared out. I find that preferable to plugged up. If I had to go in one direction over the other, give me Hershey squirts over colon boulders any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I'll add this to the original post. Thanks for the input.

@@Leanmachine MOM is a pleasure to take. My Surgeon prescribed liquid Colace, which is branded as Diocto Liquid, and it is, without a doubt or hesitation the absolute worst tasting thing I have ever imbibed. It actually has a pleasant taste in the mouth, but when you swallow it, it hits your esophagus and burns, the gets into the stoma, and is equally unpleasant, I gagged the three or four times I took it. It's as close to vomiting as I have come post op. The only way I found to begin to mitigate it's nastiness, is to have a cup of coffee in hand, and gargle with it, to get it off your esophagus, and then flush it out of the stomach. They make Colace in a gel cap as well. I tried two of those, but the gel cap was so thick, I almost could not crush it in my mouth, and they contain the same flavor as the liquid. I am willing to bet that they make the gel cap so thick so that it does not dissolve in your stomach but at some point in your intestines. With my shorter digestive tract due to BP I don't think they would dissolve at all. Ergo why I did not mention it in the post, I guess sleeve people might be able to take it, but BP folks are out of luck.

@@cherri2082 I just read my post and to me it reads a bit nasty. That was not my intention, and my biggest gripe about text based conversations; the lack of emotional inflection. My post was not meant to be snarky at all, even if it reads that way, sorry if you took it as such.

Everyone has made a great post with a lot of alternatives. All share the same one key. Do SOMETHING, walk, ride a bike, swim, yoga, BJJ, flap your wings like a chicken, dance, Px40, the list is endless. The two themes I agree with are, first get a fitness tracker, as stated I like the Fitbit, because for me, it is one stop shopping. I use the Surge, so I get GPS data on my walks, broken down by miles, and a ton of other data I can and do use to improve. Then there is the diet side. I track everything that goes in my mouth. As I am known around here as the guy who writes about his ass a lot, I keep track of what goes in and what I expect should come out. So with the Fitbit website I can track my food just like MyFitnessPal.com, however as it's in house and one application, it does a better job of letting me know where I stand diet wise. This is a personal choice, some may not like the Fitbit dietary tracking, look around and see what is out there and what meets your needs. The only two I would steer you away from are the Basis Peak and the Apple Watch. While Basis makes a great fitness watch, the website has no diet section, and really does not give you the kind of data that you get from Fitbit. Avoid the Apple Watch, as it is not meant to be a fitness watch, it's meant to be a supplement to your IPhone. It does not do sleep tracking (there are probably apps) however, it cannot hold a charge for 24 hours, so most people let it charge overnight. The second theme that I think was really well put, and a special shout out to @@WLSResources/ClothingExch doe putting it so succinctly, whatever you do, make it measurable, and realistic. Make it something you enjoy. If you like to walk, then walk. I throw my headphones on and listen to Heavy Metal the whole time, it is energizing. But that's me. You like to cycle, then do that. Whatever it is, make sure you enjoy it and can measure it, that way you can track yourself improving, the reward factor cannot be overstated. When I started off, a 4 mile walk took me 2 hours. I now do 7.57 miles in the same time. And I am just about to add another mile. I can clearly watch my progress, and it's rewarding. Before my surgery I lost a lot of weight, much more than the 8% required by the Surgical group. When people ask me how I did it, I tell them all the same, thing: I moved more and ate less. You already have the eating less part down, now for the Move More part. Lastly, I live by a concept called the Aggregation of Minimal gains. You can read about it here http://jamesclear.com/marginal-gains Life changing stuff, 1% at a time. Best of luck and let us all know what you decide and how you are doing, we are all your biggest fans!

@@KristenVSG2014 Very well said. I actually put myself into a stall when I increased my walking pace, distance and cadence. I had to increase my calories, and that got me back on track. It's a tricky tightrope to walk. I've got it down now, on non walking days I average around 700 or so calories, on walking days, about 1100. This seems to work. But everyone is different.

@@JupiterinVirgo How do you start? Just like I did almost 2 years ago. One step at a time. I began walking, and it took me a long time, to get up to a mile, then two. Now I power walk 7.57 miles every morning. And I am considering adding another mile to my walk. Granted not everyone has 2 hours a day they can dedicate to walking, but if you walk on your breaks, and during lunch, and when you get home. You can get a lot of steps in. Remember, it's not just the steps that count, it's how hard they were, and what your heart rate was when you stepped them. Baby steps. Put on foot in front of the other, and just go. The Gym is also an alternative, but you want a good low intensity workout, you can do this in a gym, or you can walk for free. Oh and get a Fitbit. Hold yourself accountable for your actions. A Fitbit makes your daily activity real and tangible. You can see what you are doing, when, and watch yourself improve. You can also track all you food (I do) and see exactly where you are exercise wise. That would be my advice to anyone. Walking is a great way to get started. Best of luck to you and Happy Holidays!

@@cherri2082 Can you not see the ticker under all my posts? I am down 111 pounds since joining the program and about 60 pounds since surgery. I feel great, I am never really hungry, it have to be active and make sure I eat every day. I walk 7.57 miles every morning, I am in training for www.toughruck.org we walk 26.2 miles a couple days before the Boston Marathon. We have 9 hours to complete the walk. You also have to wear a ruck with at least 30 pounds in it, with the name of a fallen soldier. As they have died, we are "carrying them" in spirit past all the Revolutionary battlegrounds in Mass. It's quite emotional.

@cherri2082 Yes I had a RNY GB on October 5th, 2015.

@@cherri2082 Best of Luck.!!!

@@talkingmountain I am only 9 weeks post op myself, I have no idea. I have a friend who had a RNY GB about 12 years ago, and he went through hell for a long time. However he was fighting dumping syndrome. His addiction to sugar was so severe, that he would sit at his computer, with a bag of snickers bars, he'd eat 2 or 3 rush into the bathroom, go Volcano, vomit, sit down and eat more snickers. Eventually he wound up vomiting so much, all his teeth are gone from the stomach acid. He quite honestly has 2 teeth left. His mother felt bad for him and about 6 years ago paid to have the teeth he had either fixed or pulled and partial dentures made. Now he has a very hard time wearing those as the teeth that are supposed to hold them in are gone. He went from 5 foot 4 inches and 700 pounds to his about 300 pounds at his lowest, and he's probably back to 400 or so now. Keep in mind he drinks two two liter bottles of Sunkist Orange soda a day. And he'll snack on a bag of like 2 lbs of Swedish fish each night. He went through hell, never have I seen anyone endure what he went through due to and addiction. We've been friends for 30 years. We were roommates twice, once long ago and once from 2007-2011, in 2011, his gambling got so bad, he blew the rent, twice. I bailed him out, rather us, out as the landlord served a notice to quit. Everyone said I should have moved and let him get evicted but I paid off the late rent, and he paid me back. Only to do it again six months later, then I did move out. He blamed me for the rent not being paid and the landlord bought it.

@@psvzum I aim to please.

This is hilarious! I can only add my personal input. I have no colon. Not one inch. I had an ostomy for 6 months - but got things re-wired and no longer poop out my tummy. Whew.... THAT was so gross. I go volcano about 8-10 times a day. Please drink extra water during those times!! broth with the extra tad of sodium can help combat the headaches etc from dehydration. I am not a Dr. Just been there and done that for 3 yrs. I did poop the crayon I ate in 2nd grade. LolMy date is 12/30. Best new year resolution ever!!! @@cherri2082 Thank you for your input, I'll add it to the Volcano section, and you are correct, sodium is very important. When I was young I spent a summer working in a quarry (granite quarry) and I remember seeing these red boxes all over the place, labeled "Salt Pills" and they contained packets of tums sized salt tablets. I asked the foreman why they were there, and he said, "To keep you from dying. You sweat so much (this was INCREDIBLY hard work) that you'll dehydrate, take 2 or 3 pills every day and drink as much water as you can." I remember taking his advice, and I also remember I never suffered from heat stroke or dehydration, but every day, at least it seemed, someone was being rushed by ambulance to hospital due to dehydration, or heat stroke, or something. Those salt pills really did make a difference. Happy Holidays!

@@Cervidae Ill add this to the appropriate section. Thanks for sharing. Hope you had a smooth move of your own!

I posted another similar topic mostly as a goof awhile back and it's had an amazing number of views and replies. It made me realize that talking about your ass after surgery can be an embarrassing thing. Yes, I have shat myself, a number of times. There I said it. Lipsticklady gave me the words to live by: Never trust a fart. In keeping with educating people, especially new folks, I thought I would condense a long post and make sort of a guide to living with your ass after surgery, if I did this right, you, the reader will laugh and learn at the same time. Nothing is out of bounds in this post, it's just an amalgam of all the great information posted by the community in the last post. So, here we go: ** Note I am not a Doctor, this post makes no medical advice, it is simply my opinion and that of others, nothing can substitute the advice of your Surgeon or Weight loss team ** Section one: Possible Ass functionality. The ass, has three states, I'll name them, Normal, Sahara and Volcano. Normal function is what we all seek. There are a plethora of reasons your ass may not be operating in this state, but we'll get to that. Next up, Sahara, as it's name would imply, this is when your stool becomes as dry as the Sahara desert. You could spend an afternoon on the bowl, read half a book, your legs and feet go numb, and at the end you, if you are lucky, pass a couple pebbles that actually 'plink' when they hit the bowl. The result is blown blood vessels, having the crawl out of the bathroom because your legs and feet are asleep, and a sore anus. This is not desirable. Even the hardcore S&M people are like, no man, that's hardcore. Then there is the exact opposite, Volcano ass. We all know it. You get a bit of rumbling in your tummy, pass a little gas, then it's game on! You pinch and duck waddle at top speed to the bathroom, sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't. (On a sidebar, it seems like the nerves that connect the ass and the brain have a lag of about 5 seconds. Meaning your ass sends out an alert to go NOW, and your brain takes about 5 seconds to process this and get it out to you, effectively putting your ass 5 seconds ahead of you. Anyone who has shat themselves within 3 feet of the bowl knows what I am talking about). Occasionally Volcano ass erupts like Mt St Helens. You are just sitting there, and BOOM explosion. It may have felt like a little toot, but without warning your ass erupted. ** Edit ** Thanks to @@cherri2082 for pointing out something I omitted. Sodium. I know many of us have a tendency to grab the "Low Sodium" version of a product as sodium has been vilified, however it is an essential mineral. The US RDA for a normal adult male is 1500mg per day, I have no idea how a Bypass affects our ability to absorb sodium, and won't until I get a major blood panel done. However, you should strive to make sure you get enough sodium every day, and when your ass is in Volcano state and you are loosing precious Water, a boost in sodium may well spell the difference between dehydration or not. Thanks for pointing this out. Section two. How to deal with Sahara ass. RNY GB are prohibited from using 'bulking agents' for 6 months post op. Meaning your solutions are the following. First, everyone should be taking a Probiotic. Our digestive system has just been through hell and a little help cannot hurt. Second approach, Miralax, call your Doctor and get a script, it's WAY cheaper. If you are in an extreme state of Sahara, try two does of Miralax a day for 1-3 days. This really should clear you up. DRINK WATER, I shoot for 100 oz a day. You cannot be angry with your ass for going into Sahara mode when there is not enough liquid. If 3 days of double shots of Miralax does not help, call MOM. Yep, Milk of Magnesia. I took 3 Tablespoons on the first day and 4 the next, and went straight into Volcano. No kidding I lost 5 pounds in 20 minutes. Depending on your diet stage working Fiber into your diet can be hard. But it is not impossible. Chili is a stage 3 or 4 depending on your surgeon diet choice and you can put all kinds of high fiber stuff in there and never taste it. I have been eating nothing but chili for over a month, because it's predictable and cheap. That and I am a boring eater. Well, chili for meals I eat other things. Things to avoid, any opioid pain medicine. If you are in pain and prescribed Vicodin or Percodan, plan ahead, start taking Miralax along with the meds, these WILL PLUG YOU UP!!! Feel free to post any other meds you have encountered that can cause Sahara or Volcano. Taking Miralax long term may be a reality for some. It's better than the alternative. There is a drastic measure that can be taken instead of going to hospital. If you have not pooped in I would say 4 or 5 days, see your PCP and get a script for 'Go Lightly'. It's an oxymoron. It is used to clean you out before a colonoscopy. You WILL poop, In fact, you might see stuff coming out you don't remember eating. This is an extreme solution and again if you go to the ER, this is what they are going to give you. Get it yourself and at least you can poop your brains out in your own bathroom. ** Edit** Thanks to @@Cervidae You may want to try Smooth Move Tea. She said she's had good results with it and I recall from the first post a couple people talked about different teas. Just a word of caution, or advice, if the tea contains caffeine remember that is a diuretic so you would want to increase your water intake a bit. Probably not earth shattering, but if your are already drinking coffee, God knows I do, water intake is so important. Thanks for sharing. Another shout out to @@gpmed who noted that MOM caused stomach discomfort and sometimes overshot (or overshat, that line keeps cracking me up!) the target. I found the overshatting part dead on, but preferable to Sahara. Colace gel caps were suggested, and apparently they do work in RNY GB patients. Thanks for contributing! Another shout out to @ for recommending the Squatty Potty. It's essentially a 'U' shaped footstool (no it not that kind of stool lol!!) that sits around your toilet bowl. Putting your feet on it changes the angle of your anus, rectum and colon, and it designed to make passing a Sahara Rock Poop easier. Thanks for the addition! Section three: How to deal with Volcano ass. Here is the real problem, short of imodium, this is hard to deal with. Most likely you are eating something your ass does not like. Try backing off your diet and going old school. Go back a diet phase if you have too. Probiotics gotta take em. They really help. Aside from diet changes and probiotics there is not a lot you can do about this. Usually if you are peeing out your poop, it's the body's way of saying there is something here I don't want so I am cleaning you out. Unfortunately the 'something' is unique. You may have become lactose intolerant. Try FairLife Milk (the ONLY milk anyone here should be drinking). It has no lactose, 1/2 the carbs and nearly twice the Protein. AND it tastes GREAT!! The whole milk is like cream. The Skim is like 2% milk. Very creamy. Another really, REALLY important thing to remember when going through a Volcano stage, is to increase your water intake. For RNY GB patients the #1 reason for hospital readmission within 30 days post op, is dehydration. I know I know, your ass is erupting and exploding and the last thing you think you want is more liquid, but you need it. In fact, lack of water can actually make Volcano worse, as your body dehydrates things go awry. Trust me, when I was in Desert Storm I almost died from dehydration. I was CAS evaced to a field hospital and spent 20 days in hospital. The doctor told me I was within hours of death due to dehydration. And that at a certain point, once your body becomes so dehydrated it stops looking for water in the usual places, it drains your eyes, your brain, your organs and even with an IV you may still die. Dehydration is NO ******* JOKE. **Edit, I forgot when writing this to add something I take regularly, however I make SURE to take it when in Volcano mode for more than 24 hours. When your ass is erupting, and your are loosing mass amounts of water, you are also loosing critical minerals that are required to support life. While I spoke about increasing water, and you should, during these times I make sure to add (in my case my water canteens are 30oz) 2 NUUN tablets. They are essentially sugar free Gatorade. You can read about them here and buy them as well from that site (Amazon), they are effervescent but that only lasts for like 20 minutes, so drop a tablet or two into a bottle of water, and let it sit unopened in the fridge for 1/2 an hour and the carbonation is gone. They have a fairly mild flavor, but I've tried every flavor and while some I like better than others, there is none that I do not like at all. Gotta give a special shout out to @@cherri2082 for providing a fix for a burned, chapped ass exit. Aquaphor, which is essentially a better version of Vaseline. We used it on my kids when they were little for a range of things. Good stuff, and it will certainly help a burned out butt. Thanks for the advice!! Wrap up: We all want a normally functioning ass. Me and my ass had it out a couple weeks ago. A double dose or Miralax followed by 4 tablespoons of MOM and I went into Volcano mode, extreme edition. Once it was over, and it was quick. My ass called a truce. I keep the MOM on the back of the toilet to remind my ass every time I sit down, what power I have available to me. However, Probiotics (do NOT cheap out on them, buy good ones, it's worth the extra couple bucks), lots of walking, lots of water and fiber and my ass has been normal for a couple weeks. I don't poop every day, sometimes I flirt with Sahara, but it clears up in a day. I had a good poop today, and as it's been a couple weeks, I thought I would share all I have learned, and start a post anyone can add whatever they have learned. TOGETHER WE CAN POOP NORMALLY! EMPOWER YOURSELF! YOU CONTROL YOUR ASS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Remember, anything coming out of your ass, started off in your mouth. Talk about your ass in the third person, it helps. I think of my ass like another part of me, one that needs to be controlled. And unless you want to deal with this: SEE ATTACHMENT Heed the above advice! HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY POOPING!!!! Reading this post is meant to empower you over your ass, rise up and declare you will no longer be a slave to your ass, that ass oppression is OVER. And all of us in a single voice say to the world we have had enough (or not enough in the case of Sahara) and we are DEMANDING change, POWER TO THE POOPER!!! POWER TO THE POOPER!!!, POWER TO THE POOPER!!! /rant off

@@healthyamy Posts like this make my day. Thank you.