ireneg

Thank you, Woo Woo! I went to Celebrate Recovery and found the support truly miraculous. I have 2 days of really great compliance to the Nutritionist diet. I appreciate too, your reminder that if I gain weight, my insurance can deny me coverage. That is true!! I don't know for sure they will, but they can put off my surgery. Thank you for your support - I really appreciate your note!

My name is Irene and I'm a 57 year old divorced woman who lives with her mother. My younger brother lived with her and he died about 3 years ago and wanted me to live with her since my 3 daughters were now married and on their own. It's been tough. In 2009 when he was diagnosed with cancer in March, within 6 months I gained 30 lbs. I gain weight very quickly!! I went up to 291 lbs. I'm 5'2" - you can imagine!! End of Sept 2009 I joined FA - a 12 step program and lost 145 lbs relatively quickly and kept it off. However, things fell apart for me when my brother died in Aug 2011, my daughter had gotten married in May 2011, the oldest daughter was going to marry at the end of the year and my youngest baby was moving into her dad's house with her boyfriend (they married in 2013 at Disney World!). I had the Empty Nest Syndrome really bad!! At the first wedding May 2011, I was a size 6 and at the last wedding, Feb 2013, a size 22. I feel ashamed. I feel like a failure. I've thought of WLS for years and was concerned about altering myself with bypass surgery. I hadn't heard many positive things about the lap band. Recently I heard about the sleeve and that sounds like a good fit for me. My youngest had the surgery done in May 2014 and has been very successful with it. My oldest will have it done in Nov 2014. My middle daughter is obese; so is my mother, my sister and both brothers. My father was an alcoholic (I learned that alcoholic fathers tend to have obese daughters...). I have Kaiser insurance. I love the 6 month wait because I feel I need time to prove to myself that I can commit. I want to gradually accept the changes. In the past (I've been dieting on and off since I was 17 yrs old), I would have paid out of pocket to have it next month (or sooner); now I know that's addictive behavior for me. I want this experience to be different. I want this to be the final diet. My middle and youngest daughters, their husbands and I joined the YMCA at end of Jan 2014 and I've gone to exercise at least 4 times a week to mostly 5 - 6 days a week. I don't see it as a chore or something I have to do. I see it as movement and "recess" - I look forward to going. I love doing it with my daughters because we enjoy each other's company. When I have a tough day at work, I just picture myself in the pool. We do deep Water treading. I'm not a swimmer. I get quite a workout doing that, the elliptical and I was doing belly dancing once a week but my weight really prevented me from enjoying it. I look forward to getting the weight off and joining the girls! I also tried yoga and was not quite limber enough. Still, I want to try again as soon as possible. I babysit my great-nephew (my dead brother's grandchild) every Sat since he was 4 months old (he's 17 months old now) and chase him all day - no TV on my watch! I laugh all day with him, hardly have time to eat and enjoy life when I'm with him. I get quite a workout playing - the best way to do it, in my book!! So I began my journey in Aug 2014 by attending meetings. I've met with the Nutritionist. I already have sleep Apnea and have the machine to bring with me to surgery. I am having trouble with the diet I'm supposed to be on right now; I feel resentment about following a diet!!! I feel like I'd better hurry up and have a "last meal" - of whatever junk I want to get in. I hope this is temporary because I'm supposed to be losing weight... I also fear that I "can't" do it. I want to be motivated, I want to just DO IT - and then I fall apart. I'm going to work closer with the Nutritionist and see how they can help me. I know this is a long entry, but if you have read this far, do you have any suggestions? I do hope I can get on track - this forum has been inspirational for me so far!

So happy to hear you went through with the surgery and are on the mend! So sorry to hear about your husband's decision to end the marriage. You are right - you only have so much energy and you know that what energy you have has to go to taking care of YOU! I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself. You are worth it!! Hugs, Irene

My heart goes out to you. Surgery is such an injury to our bodies (yes, this is for our health, and worth it) and your emotional health is at stake here. I believe that with support and love, the healing to our body is faster! You need emotional as well as physical support. I hope that you have people in your life who can step up right now and help you through this. If you don't take care of yourself and become the healthy mom you want to be, who will be there for your children? I hope your husband has some support, too. He sounds like he has some deep seated issues... By the way, this is the first post for me - just joined last night... I just began the process in August. Not 100% sure yet, but I'm following my insurance protocol. You have my prayers...