Hazel524

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum but I've read a lot of posts behind the anonymity of my iPhone and have related so much with a lot of ppl. So I figured, why not post my own journey. Maybe my experience can help someone the way I'm being comforted thru this site. I'm currently awaiting my lapband surgery, which is scheduled for June 30th. I'm 5'7 and weigh 223lbs bmi 35. This to some May sound like not a stat situation but it feels extremely dire to me. I unlike others didn't grow up as a chubby kid, I actually was quite the opposite. It wasn't until I was about 20 that the weight crept on and never left ( I'm now 30). Ppl who have been heavy all there life from what I can imagine have prob endured plenty of criticism as have I. Idk why but ppl on a regular basis have approached me and said more times than I can count, "wow, u got fat"! Even my neighbor who I say hi and bye to took the liberty of saying how svelte I used to be and that I gained a lot of weight. This has crushed my spirit and self esteem. Sometimes I wonder if me being heavy my entire life would leave me more equipped to deal with snide insensitive comments but I know of course it wouldn't. Words hurt and are damaging. I have turned into a antisocial person who doesn't want to go out bcuz I don't feel comfortable in my clothes and I am constantly trying to avoid bumping into ppl I haven't seen in a while ( being that I live in a small town). I've made the decision with much trepidation to get the lap band as a away to reclaim my life. I have pcos and and borderline diabetic which are contributing factors to my decision but I also want to look and FEEL good again, if anyone out there has had similar experiences I would love to hear from u!