beach140

Marriage is hard. I can relate to Nume130. I married someone who is a wonderful husband in many ways but who is not interested in sex. I do not believe he is having sex outside of our marriage. I love sex and miss it. I haven't had sex in about 9 years and I was skinny when he stopped having sex with me. He also led a gay life prior to our marriage, however, was not into sex all that much even as a gay person. I ate food instead of having sex after year ten. I also just came to the realization that I have been taking prescription pills to numb myself. I just stopped cold turkey. I probably need a shrink but am not the kind of person to go to one. I have been working long hours and also think I've been substituing work for having a life. My husband is very presentable, he fixes things, he supports my work, he is a good roommate, and he protects me. A lot of women are jealous of my "perfect" marriage. I recently talked to three old friends about the reality of our marriage. One thinks I should stay with him and forget about sex. One, an old boyfriend, who is a married philanderer, wants to have an affair with me, and the other thinks I should leave him. He fathered a wonderful, well-adjusted child who recently left home for college. I'm going through perimenopause and my moods and hormones are all over the place. I've lost 40 pounds and have 40 more to go. I'm scared I'm going to have an affair if I get any skinnier, but at the same time I want something to change. I did this for my health. I've gotten rid of my diabetes and high blood pressure. I want to take it the rest of the way, but, am afraid of causing big changes in my life. Any advice?