Colleen Cook

My husband Roger and I are celebrating 37 years of marriage! My, how time flies. This year we have attended many receptions for newly marrieds and have admired all of the great gifts they receive. We often joke about My husband Roger and I are celebrating 37 years of marriage! My, how time flies. This year we have attended many receptions for newly marrieds and have admired all of the great gifts they receive. We often joke about how great it would be to have a reception and invite all of our friends so we could get new stuff to replace our old worn out stuff. You know, like the toaster that only does one slice, the dull knives, and the old, “lost their fluff” towels. Somehow after 37 years, we feel that we have earned it! Then I realized that we do have “good” knives and “good” towels and “good” china, but I have been saving them for years in the dining room and in my mother’s cedar chest. You know, the ones I have been saving for…??? Well, that’s the thing I realized; that I didn’t really know exactly what or who I have been saving them for?? So I did it! Just the other day, I used the good towels! The good towels are bigger, softer, and even smell better than the everyday towels I have been using. Such a silly thing, but using the good towels made me feel better about myself, and proud that I felt worthy of such a luxury. Since then, I have identified a few other little things that simply help me feel better; like keeping my car windows spot free, replacing my gunked up make up bag, getting my hair cut more often. I don’t know about you, but I am quite convinced that my self-esteem is deeply connected to my eating and health habits. Hmm, seems that when I use the good towels, I feel better about myself and when I feel better about myself I eat less. Makes me wonder what other simple changes I might make. How about you? May I leave you with a challenge to do something special for yourself today? Something small and simple, yet something that will make you feel well and cared for. Then, see if it makes a difference in your eating habits. Come on; get out the good towels!

Having experienced many of the physical and emotional challenges endured by those who struggle with obesity, I expect myself to be empathetic, understanding and kind, and I believe I am. However, I uncovered some deeply seeded weight biases In preparing for a presentation on Obesity Sensitivity, I have made a number of surprising discoveries. First, I recognized and owned up to my own weight bias. I am a weight loss surgery patient celebrating 20 years of successful weight management. I topped out at 250 pounds on my small 5’2 frame. I was ‘obese’ unhappy, unhealthy and struggled with the shame and guilt as so many do. I had to wait nearly 3 years and then had to pay cash. A hard fought battle to be sure. Having experienced many of the physical and emotional challenges endured by those who struggle with obesity, I expect myself to be empathetic, understanding and kind, and I believe I am. However, I uncovered some deeply seeded weight biasesafter taking two common tests: The ATOP (Attitudes Towards Obese Persons and the BAOP (Belief About Obese Persons) in Obesity. Awakened and enlightened, I am now committed to become better educated, more aware, more involved, and do my share. I have been a member of the Obesity Action Coalition since its beginning. Applauding their good works from the sidelines, this recent experience has helped me learn more about what they do and come to a greater understanding of the importance of this work. I see clearly that weight loss surgery patients have a keen understanding of this topic. As WLS patients, individually and collectively, we get it! We know how it is to carry hundreds of unwanted pounds. We know how scarce attractive clothing can be and how hard it is to get up and down off the floor. We know how it feels to be invisible, to be stigmatized and discriminated against. It is because we know that we in a unique position to make a difference. Here are a few suggestions to get you started: 6 Things Bariatric Patients Can Do to Help Reduce Weight Bias: Be willing to tell your story out loud, on a website and through Social Media. Feel free to start here: Bariatric Support Facebook group. Identify your own biases, attitudes and beliefs (Take the ATOP, BAOP). Learn more about our disease The Obesity Society. Become an advocate, get involved Obesity Action Coalition. Reach out to someone who may be struggling with empathy and understanding. Voice your views and opinions about the care you received before, during and after your surgery.

Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more. Years ago when I was in my early 40’s I wondered if it was possible to be considered grateful while still wanting / seeking more in my life. That presented such a conflict in my mind and heart. I felt that I was truly grateful but at the same time driven and desiring so much more. I pondered this each Thanksgiving for a number of years then, I just let it go. Just last week as I was browsing Pinterest, this thought popped up. “Gratitude is what turns everything into enough” This beautiful sentiment touched my heart, filled my spirit and answered my question from long ago. I heard and understood something different about gratitude. I suppose that I see many things differently now, now that I am in my mid-50’s. My priorities have changed my attitude has improved. I am happy, content and grateful beyond measure. Perhaps I have gained an understanding that only time can teach. Or perhaps it is simply about pausing long enough to count my blessings. So this season, I am grateful to be grateful! Please take a moment to enjoy one of my favorite poems: Drinking From My Saucer I've never made a fortune and it's probably too late now. But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow. And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed. I don't have a lot of riches, and sometimes the going's tough. But I've got loved ones around me, and that makes me rich enough. I thank God for his blessings, and the mercies He's bestowed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup has overflowed. I remember times when things went wrong, My faith wore somewhat thin. But all at once the dark clouds broke, and the sun peeped through again. So God, help me not to gripe about the tough rows that I've hoed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed. If God gives me strength and courage, when the way grows steep and rough. I'll not ask for other blessings, I'm already blessed enough. And may I never be too busy, to help others bear their loads. Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed. ~ John Paul Moore ~ My wish for you this Thanksgiving is that you will find contentment in our current circumstances, whatever they maybe. May you find joy and happiness in the simple blessings life and may everything you have be enough.

Summer is here and it is a hot a busy one! So many fun holidays, activities and family outings, one barely has time shop, let alone plan healthy meals. Luckily, many find that it is a bit easier to make better food choices in summertime, when heavy, high-calorie dishes seem less appealing. The best foods for weight loss in summer are Summer is here and it is a hot a busy one! So many fun holidays, activities and family outings, one barely has time shop, let alone plan healthy meals. Luckily, many find that it is a bit easier to make better food choices in summertime, when heavy, high-calorie dishes seem less appealing. The best foods for weight loss in summer are light, refreshing and, most important, keep you out of the hot kitchen. The single easiest way to trim calories from your summer diet, experts say, is to load up on nature’s bounty. Produce is at its peak in summer. Delicious fruits and vegetables abound at farmers' markets and in your local grocery. Besides being low in calories, produce is loaded with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and fiber. With just a few WLS tweaks that I took the liberty of making, these top 6 summer foods for weight loss from Kathleen M. Zelman, MPH, RD, LD of www.webmd.com offer some great suggestions. Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 1: Chilled Soups Chilled soups like gazpacho or cucumber-dill that contain lots of chunky vegetables are great choices as long as we add a protein source. Chicken or ground beef perhaps? We are often asked if soup and a liquid, how can I have soup when I can not drink with my meals? Well, be smart. Know your own body, your own nutritional needs and your own sense of satiety. Then make a good choice for yourself. Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 2: Watermelon Who doesn’t love diving into a crisp, juicy slice of watermelon when it's hot outside? Half of the watermelon comes from water, they say. It’s a wonderful way to satisfy thirst and a yen for something sweet. Another great choice, cool, crisp, good for you and plentiful! Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 3: Grilled Veggies For Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a plate of grilled vegetables is a summertime must-have. She recommends keeping a plate of grilled onions, bell peppers, zucchini, carrots, eggplant, asparagus, and garlic in your fridge. Once again, it is important for WLS patients to be mindful and deliberate about eating protein at every meal. Grilled veggies are great – along side your protein. Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 4: Salads Salads make for quick, healthy meals -- with no recipes required. "Just give the produce a quick rinse; slice, dice, toss fruits, vegetables, low-fat cheese, a handful of toasted nuts with some salad greens and a light raspberry or ginger vinaigrette, along with a whole-grain roll, and you have a meal in minutes," Add garbanzo or kidney beans, extra cheese and perhaps some chicken and you have the perfect summertime WLS meal. You might also flavor with lots of herbs so you can go light on the dressing. Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 5: Low- and No-Calorie Beverages "Beverages can be the Achilles heel during summertime because we need to drink lots of liquids to stay cool, but liquids quench thirst and don’t usually impact our hunger," the article states. As always, WLS patients should avoid carbonated beverages but enjoy flavoring water with fresh fruit, mint leaves, and even vegetables like cucumbers. Also be mindful of even artificially sweetened beverages as you may find they too can activate your sweet tooth. Best Summer Weight Loss Food No. 6: Fruit-Based Desserts Or better yet, how about just fruit! I have long been a fan of whole fruit of all sorts, bananas, oranges, apples and pears, berries too are favorites. To add some interesting variety, try grilling, baking or freezing fruit. Frozen cherries and grapes are quick and easy and grilled pineapple and a sliced peach – well, a little summer heaven! One of my favorite afternoon pick me ups is simply frozen fruit (berries, pineapple, peaches, whatever I have on hand) a ½ cup of fat free, plain Greek yogurt and a bit of Stevia to sweeten. Blend it up for a cool, healthy treat. Enjoy!

Umm, fudge! It had been a crazy busy week. Away from home for 10 days, facilitating two training courses and speaking at an Obesity Summit, I was tired and ready to go home. Though I have a pretty good routine when I travel and stay focused on my good Success Habits, I was tempted Umm, fudge! It had been a crazy busy week. Away from home for 10 days, facilitating two training courses and speaking at an Obesity Summit, I was tired and ready to go home. Though I have a pretty good routine when I travel and stay focused on my good Success Habits, I was tempted beyond my ability to resist, to buy a piece of fudge. Umm, I love fudge and of course the walnuts added the all important “protein.” I had kept up with my exercise and make good food choices all week, so I felt justified in splurging a bit. As it always does, the first bite was heavenly! Smooth and creamy. So good. I relished that first bite, waited a bit and then another, and yet another. Enough! I thought. I’m good. Now I am going to mindfully throw the rest away. A difficult thing to do knowing how much I paid for it and due to all of the starving people in the world. But I knew it had to go. With Michael Jordan flair, I strutted by the trash can and slam dunked it. There! Good for me. I would have high-fived the guy next to me, but he gave me a funny look so I decided I would just celebrate privately. Boarding for my flight began and victoriously, I marched onto the plane. Safe from “too much” fudge. An hour passed by still on the tarmac, waiting for a mechanical repair. Finally, the captain announced that we would need to deplane and board another flight. By that time I had missed my connecting flight in Denver so I knew enough to get off the plane and get quickly in line for re-booking. As I waited patiently in line, I don’t know why, but the thought of my left over fudge so close by started to haunt me. Though I am embarrassed to admit it, here is the conversation in my head. “This situation is beyond stressful and surely another piece of fudge would calm my nerves.” Honestly, you are not thinking of getting the fudge out of that trash bin over there are you?” Well, it is still good, it was wrapped up and in the bag.” Really?” What will people think of you digging in the trash?” “It will be right on top. Easy and there are not too many people over there, I can be quick!” Come on, seriously, you are better than this. You don’t eat food from the trash! Well I guess you are right! Thank goodness.” Whew! That was close. It shouldn’t have even crossed my mind but it did. Why, I wonder? What is this problem I have with food? I was pleased that my good voice over ruled my temptress voice but I would have preferred not to have had that conversation at all! Perhaps you can relate? Sometimes I find myself focusing on how unfair it is that I struggle with such unhealthy food relationships. But then, I am both relieved and proud that I have been able to win many of these battles. And every time I do – the “you can do it, you are better than that” voice gets stronger and stronger. For those of you who have heard my other crazy food stories, you’ll know how important it is when I say, I don’t eat M & M’s off the floor, whipped cream with my fingers, OR fudge from the trash! Yeah!

During my graduating year in High School (1977) I got the biggest kick out of the TV commercial featuring the winners of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. The two mild mannered, plainly dressed, farm folk declared (with more drawl and twang than Gomer Pile) “What luck! We Mays are in luck. We have just won a million dollars! Our lives will never be the same!” Yep, they are lucky, I thought. I am a May too, so how come I’m not so lucky? Though many spend a considerable amount of time, effort, and energy entering sweepstakes – hoping to get ‘lucky,’ I have adopted a different philosophy. “The harder you work the luckier you get!” Time and time again that has proven to be the case. Following my weight-loss surgery in 1995, I recall mustering up the nerve to call a few of my friends to tell them what I had done. The first call I made was to a long time nurse friend. I will forever remember her immediate reply after I told her where I was and that I had just had a gastric bypass. “You are so lucky!” she exclaimed. “Lucky?” I replied. “What do you mean lucky?” I have spent my entire life fighting my weight and finally, finally, I had the courage to make this gigantic commitment. It took great thought, planning, preparation, prayer, not to mention a support of my family, and a 2nd mortgage to do this. Luck had nothing to do with it!” The first year was a dream come true. The weight seemed to fall off. I lost 125 pounds. No complications, no bumps, and very little effort on my part. Wow was I lucky! I would find myself eating something I shouldn’t. Or skipping a few days of exercise only to weigh in to find that I lost another pound! “Dodged a bullet this week; Man I am so lucky!” I thought. And then…. I found that the next month, was not so lucky. I learned by experience that I was not invincible, and that maintaining my weight loss requires much more than luck. It requires dedication, commitment, thought, focus, and constant effort. Indeed I found, that in weight issues too, the harder I work, the luckier I am. It has been over 19 years now and my weight continues to fluctuate up and down 20 pounds or so. Interesting, when I work hard at it, I lose - when I don’t, I gain. Go figure. It seems that this weight management thing will always require effort. Throughout your journey, you too, will have ups and downs, good days and bad days. We have a remarkable tool, but we will always reap what we sow. As you work to reach and maintain your weight-loss goals, remember to stay committed to your Success Habits, stay in tune with your body, work hard; and oh, good luck!

Thanks for your comments, So glad you found this helpful. I am nearly 20 years post op - and still learning to make good choices consistently. All my best!

Thank you for these great comments. What valuable insight! You know, I am nearly 20 years post op and still learning, growing and making better choices for myself each day!

So true! Thank for your comments. These thoughts do go far beyond food choices, don't they? Life can be so challenging. I am grateful for supportive friends and family. Makes me want to be a better support to others who struggle no matter what the self defeating behavior. Colleen

Just after Easter, I posted this photo of my morning ‘snack’ of carrots, celery jelly beans and chocolate eggs with a caption, “Does this make sense to anyone?” The responses were funny, truthful, and understanding. Some quickly identified the beans and eggs as protein and together with the carrots and celery some said that made a very healthy snack! Others noted that there were so few, it didn’t matter. One commented, Just after Easter, I posted this photo of my morning ‘snack’ of carrots, celery jelly beans and chocolate eggs with a caption, “Does this make sense to anyone?” The responses were funny, truthful, and understanding. Some quickly identified the beans and eggs as protein and together with the carrots and celery some said that made a very healthy snack! Others noted that there were so few, it didn’t matter. One commented, “Living on the edge – just don’t overdo it!” Yes, I laughed out loud. And don’t we all have times when we live on the edge, test fate, and throw caution to the wind? I suppose we do. I just always wonder why. Why do we do what we do, when we know what we know? For myself, sugar is a real challenge for me and something I need to avoid (see Sugar Free Me! article) Yet, still I ate the jelly beans and chocolate eggs on a plate with vegetables, as if that would make it ok, or that the vegetables would counter act the sugar. Yeah, right. Knowing that so many can relate, I thought I would give a shot at perhaps a few reasons why I think we do what we do when we know what we know. We Want To Feel Normal – Sometimes we simply don’t’ want to have to worry about it! We are under the impression that eating whatever one wants is ‘normal.’ It might appear that our thin friends and relatives can, but it always comes down to calories in- calories out; for everyone! We are normal and like most people will always need to be careful and mindful about our choices, but sometimes, we just want our actions to have no consequences. (But they do) Others Do It. In support groups, sometimes patients share how they are able to get away with eating “forbidden foods” and how they are still doing great with their weight loss. Well, more often than not I have found that these people are either ‘honeymooners’ or their metabolism is different than mine or they are great exercisers. Eating what others eat hasn’t worked well for most of us. We each need to know for ourselves EXACTLY what our own bodies need – and what works and what doesn’t work for us to maintain our weight loss goals. Reckless Abandon – My favorite definition of reckless abandon is: “to abandon all sense of responsibility or consequence.” Sometimes we do because we are either too busy to pay attention, or too stressed to care. It is unfortunate that all too often our lives are out of control and when we are too busy, we put ourselves last! The commitment we have made to ourselves must be strong enough to endure ‘come what may’ we must stay focused on our Success Habits. No matter what! It is too easy to get out of control and off track and find ourselves somewhere we swore we would never be again. A Little Won’t Hurt – That may be true for some but honestly, this is one of my greatest challenges. Some people can do just a little, but for others like me, have trouble stopping at just a little. It’s not that I binge eat or eat too much at once, it’s just that once I have a little, my body starts to crave more, and more and soon I am a slave to my food choices day after day. For me, a little does hurt. Will I make the choice to eat jelly beans & chocolate again? Absolutely! Will I enjoy it? Yes! Will I stop, and get back to my routine habits as soon as possible? Yes! Why? Because I know what I know.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could train ourselves to auto-correct our bad behaviors, before we made a mistake? You know, like typewriters. Both of my grandmothers had typewriters. I remember my Grandma Gwen, typing out letters and invoices for my grandpa’s construction business. I also remember how cool it was that my Grandma Pearl had an electric typewriter. When I was a young teen I was able to use it to retype a letter and it was pretty great. Back in typewriter days, if you made a mistake you had a few options. 1. You could completely ignore the mistake and act like it didn’t happen at all and then finish your document. 2. You could backspace and X out the wrong word or letter, or 3. You could backspace and type the right letter over and over again until it was darker than the wrong letter. Option 4. was to use erasable typewriter paper – (I think it was called onion skin). If a mistake was made, you could take the paper out – use an eraser to erase the error and then put the paper back in, hoping that everything would line up ok, but often it didn’t. Then along came the infamous ‘white out’ Great stuff. If you make a mistake, you could use white out to cover it up. At first white out came in a liquid, then correction tape, and eventually some typewriters included a white out key to type over the mistake, like my grandma Pearl’s. I learned quickly how important it was to let the white out dry before starting again to type the right word or letter or it would smear and make a terrible mess. As we look back, the evolution from typewriter to word processor is truly remarkable. Today, we are fortunate to have word processing programs with spell checkers! Right now I am typing in a Microsoft Word Document. If I make a spelling or a grammatical error – it marks it accordingly. And, it suggests possible corrections. That’s cool. But what is even greater, is the auto-correct feature. I have used this program long enough that now it recognizes some of the words I use often and it automatically completes my words and sometimes my sentences - without me! What a great feature – auto-correct. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could train ourselves to auto-correct our bad behaviors, before we made a mistake? I personally would love to be able to engage an auto-correct feature that would prevent me from eating the wrong thing or making a bad choice. I think that is possible. Somehow it seems to me that thin people have great control over their auto-correct feature. So how can I? I suspect that each one of us is at a different point of being able to engage our ability to auto-correct ourselves.Take our eating habits, for example. When we eat the wrong thing, some ignore it and move on. Others try to X it out or cover it up with misplaced beliefs like – if I eat it fast the calories won’t count. As I have thought through this analogy, I have challenged myself and now challenge you to spend some time thinking not just about your mistakes and wrong choices, but more about what you do about it ‘after the mistake has been made and what it might take to activate your own autocorrect feature for next time. Next time you eat something that you consider a mistake, pause a moment as ask yourself these questions. 1. How did this food get here in the first place? Likely it was a conscious choice when shopping. Auto-correct with more mindful shopping. 2. Was it in-sight or did you have to search for it, deliberately go for it. Auto-correct with out of sight or hard to reach placement. 3. Were you really hungry? Auto-correct with using the HALTS technique. Ask yourself am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Stresses? Then act accordingly. 3. Was there something else I could have eaten instead? Auto-correct by surrounding yourself with better choices – again that decision is made in advance. 4. So now that you have eaten that cupcake what are you going to do now? Auto-correct by coming to understand your own metabolism and know that if calories went in you need to work them off! Like you, I have come too far to allow myself to repeat mistakes over and over again without making an effort to understand and correct them. I don’t want to ignore my mistakes or attempt to cover them up, “X” them out, or white wash them. We all make mistakes, but we also all have the ability to mindfully engage our own auto-correct feature. Here’s to lessons from a typewriter!

Thanks so much to each of you for your kind comments. So glad to know that there are so many here to 'get it' Love to hear about the things that you discover that need attention to 'fortify' and strengthen your surgical tool. All my best to you! Colleen

While it was all quite fascinating to me, I was especially interested in her comments about the fences. As she pointed to a split rail fence near us, she noted how important it was for the homesteaders to build the fences, “hog tight and horse high.” You see, the farmers built wooden fences around their property to keep their animals in and other animals out. They learned quickly that if their fence was not built just right, the hogs would dig and crawl under it and the horses would jump over it. Hence the term, ‘hog tight and horse high.” I don’t know why, but for some reason my mind connected that concept to my experience with my surgical tool. You see, like the fence, my surgical tool does exactly what it was designed to do. However, through the years, I have learned how to go under it and how to jump over it! Sound familiar? There I was, standing in the middle of a large field at a historical site in Palmyra, New York. I listened intently as the tour guide described the great effort that had been made to re-construct the farm, log houses, fences and barns to what it was in the early 1800’s. While it was all quite fascinating to me, I was especially interested in her comments about the fences. As she pointed to a split rail fence near us, she noted how important it was for the homesteaders to build the fences, “hog tight and horse high.” You see, the farmers built wooden fences around their property to keep their animals in and other animals out. They learned quickly that if their fence was not built just right, the hogs would dig and crawl under it and the horses would jump over it. Hence the term, ‘hog tight and horse high.” I don’t know why, but for some reason my mind connected that concept to my experience with my surgical tool. You see, like the fence, my surgical tool does exactly what it was designed to do. However, through the years, I have learned how to go under it and how to jump over it! Sound familiar? Throughout these past few weeks, I have searched and identified ways that I sneakily crawl under and jump over my stomach pouch tool. And I know that I am a sneak! And to what end? Well unwanted pounds, duh! This little discovery has been a great eye opener and has served as a catalyst for changing some of myself defeating behaviors. We all know how essential our habits are to our long term success, and it is good to take stock (no pun intended) to fill in the gaps and fortify the foundations of our fences. Hog-tight As I searched, I found gaps that needed fortified and several holes that needed filled. First, my shopping habits had gotten a bit lax. It is so easy to justify the cookies, candy and chips by saying…. They are for my family. But, time and time again, those worthless calories were working their way into my mouth. No more! I patched up that hole and have recommitted to making better choices when I shop. Next, my exercise had slipped a little. Ok, a lot. My husband’s hip surgery and recovery was the perfect excuse to stop going to the gym; a deadly decision for me. Our membership expired and we had not re-joined, but I have patch up that hole, too. I found a new fitness center and absolutely love it! I mean love it! And that is saying a lot for me. Horse-high The comments about building fences high enough so that horses could not jump over them, led me to wonder if the standards that I have set for myself are high enough. Did I need to raise my standards regarding what sort of behaviors I will and will not allow from myself? That called to mind an experience I had several years ago. I bet you can relate. As I walked out of my office and down the hall I spotted a green peanut M & M on the ground. Now, keep in mind that I have always believed in the three second rule and I have never been above eating left over Halloween candy from the couch cushions. So, I glanced around to be sure I was alone, stooped over and picked up the M & M. As I started to pop it in my mouth, I instantly had these thoughts come to mind. “What are you doing? You are getting ready to eat food off of the floor! What is wrong with you? Why are you allowing this little candy to rob you of your self respect? Come on! You are so much better than that!” An Ah ha moment for me to be sure. I put the M & M back in my pocket, finished my errand, returned to my office and gave the little fella a place of honor on my office credenza! In that small act, I raised my expectations of myself and committed to adopt a more healthy relationship with food; never again to allow these tempting little tid-bits rob me of myself. And he has company now; a little blue one I found in an elevator, and a yellow one I found in the parking lot. These M & M’s are a constant reminder, that I am worthy of better behavior. May I encourage each of you to take some time to walk along your fence line to see if it needs your attention. What might you do to ensure that it is “hog tight and horse high” so that in a moment of temptation, you will not simply jump over or crawl under your perfectly good “fence."

As my husband lay in a hospital bed, recovering from a total hip replacement, I searched diligently for a way to show my love and support. Then, I found the perfect answer, “licorice and Oreo cookies!” After 50 years in the workforce, my mother is retiring. Though she is not happy about it, I want to find a way to celebrate her many years of hard work. Oh, I know! I will bake her a pie. I Love You – Have a Cookie! By Colleen M. Cook As my husband lay in a hospital bed, recovering from a total hip replacement, I searched diligently for a way to show my love and support. Then, I found the perfect answer, “licorice and Oreo cookies!” After 50 years in the workforce, my mother is retiring. Though she is not happy about it, I want to find a way to celebrate her many years of hard work. Oh, I know! I will bake her a pie. A cherry pie! That is her favorite. Hard to believe, but our oldest son, Craig is turning 33. He is a wonderful young man with a great wife and an adorable son, Skyler. That surely is cause for a special family dinner. Prime rib, all the trimmings and of course, I will bake a cake. I suspect that many of you are just like me. Even after 19 years as a weight loss surgery patient, when I feel the need to show my love, support or appreciation for someone I use food. It seems we all do. And that, I am afraid, has been the case since the beginning of time- you know, killing the fatted calf and all that. We love, we celebrate and we motivate with food. I have been wondering if it would be a futile endeavor, or would it actually be possible to change this behavior ? Now, I know that I cannot be responsible for everyone else, but I can be responsible for the choices I make. One day, one event and one holiday at a time. So, now that the good candy from the gingerbread house is about gone… along comes another sweet holiday, Valentines Day. You know, expensive dinners, heart shaped cookies, cakes and candy. In years past, Valentines Day has been the perfect excuse to bake giant heart-shaped sugar cookies with white icing and red sprinkles. But, this year I am going to do things differently. I know, it will be tough, now that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups come in a heart shape, but I am committed to showing my love for my family and friends without using food! I have decided to spend my cookie baking time, writing heartfelt letters and notes of appreciation to those I love. My hope is that my words will fill their hearts, and that they will feel loved and appreciated, warmed and emotionally fed, and that they will not miss the cookies. Won’t you join me this Valentines Day, by doing what you can to fill someone’s heart – rather than their stomachs? I love you – here’s a note!