bearman99

Way to go. I look forward to milestones like this in my future.

31 days away from surgery and I decided to practice the no liquids with the meal, 30 min before. 30 min after. My fears are now higher than they were for failure. I had no idea how much I washed my food down when I ate. I suppose it is like anything else you get used to it once you have done it for some time. Does it get easier?

So, I am 47 years old and I decided (finally) I want to live. This is new...... First, a little personal history. In 1966 I was born significantly underweight. I almost killed my Mom when I was born (I was always a handful :-) ). She ended up having a historectemy because of it. This was the only point in my life I was underweight or normal weight. Shortly thereafter I was always "pudgy" or "stocky". In 7th grade I plumped up even more and at 5'7" entered high school at 230lbs. I kept gaining through sophomore year up to 250lbs. I graduated High School at 270lbs. The lowest I have been since 1984 was 280. The highest was (estimated 350ish) and I was there within the last 2 years. In 2000 I was admitted to the hospital with (BS 964 - yep and I wasn't in a coma) inability to sleep, peeing all the time, and a skin infection that was pretty nasty.....yep, diabetes T2 was with me now. I remember being prescribed a diet where I could eat 2C of raisin bran and skim milk along with some fruit.....but I digress towards a scathing diatribe about 2000's accepted dietary guidelines. Now all along I have had high blood pressure. Pretty much since high school it was high. I, being a guy and purposefully choosing to ignore the silent things, didn't do anything about it for quite a while. In early 2011 I was fatigued and tired all the time. I had also mysteriously gained 30 lbs in about 6 weeks. So I went in to the hospital "not feeling well" and when the nurse checked my blood pressure hit the emergency call channel to have me admitted immediately (240/180 will do that).....I was in AFIB and it turns out had heart failure from Fluid build up. I lost a bunch of weight after this getting down to 290 (from 340ish), getting my heart back into sinus rhythm. According to my cardiologist he is amazed at my hearts recovery back into what is considered "normal" with my pumping ability (his words not mine) "fully recovered". So I have Hypertension, Diabetes, Hyperlipidia, borderline Kidney issues, and gout. I am on 11 medications for hypertension and 3 meds (incl Lantus) for diabetes. My Mom had hypertension really bad all her life too, died from cancer though nothing related to the heart. And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal. So here I am scheduled for surgery on Dec 24 and a self-pay to boot (direct exclusions suck). I am a bit scared of the surgery. I am very scared of me. My ability to live in denial and ignore things that should not be ignored is well refined and dangerous. My Mom 35 years ago has a gastric bypass and she lost 150 lbs and eventually keeping 100lbs off while using OA as her lifelong counselling until her death in recent years. My Mom's sister had the same surgery lost 100 lbs and 2 years later gained it all back plus 50 lbs.....which one am I (says my fear in my head). I have been trying to not drink 30 min before, during or 30 min after a meal....holy crap I had no idea how much I used liquids to wash food down. This of course adds to my trepidation and general unease. So, I want to live. I have had two major health warning shots in my life. I believe the Sleeve will aid in this life change. I am a bit scared. Thank you for reading. Now, off to read all the good info on this site. I will share more as it happens.