Madam Reverie

Guys, I share your pain. I have ALWAYS had the overhang onto the pubis. Even as a young child. Never tucked in shirts. Wore control briefs to disguise it. Used to kneed and roll it in my hands, pulling it out, wishing I could just cut it off with a bread knife (yeah, that makes me sound psycho). The thing is, I am an apple shape and I have yet to have surgery. Consequently, it scares the bejesus out of me as to how god-awful its going to look after weight loss. I was told years ago by a doctor that no amount of exercise would get rid of it. As much as I've loathed it all my life because its been there forever; its a warming, squidgy and familiar part of me. Like an old friend. That I love and hate at the same time. Its been there that long, it has its own well-worn crease. A cut line, if you will. I don't know about these surgeons. Masters in the craft of surgical medicine - or glorified seamstresses?! My mum would shudder at some of the patchwork quilt jobs I've been seeing on YouTube recently. I could just imagine her saying 'well, that person didn't cut the pattern and tack the garment before sewing very well, did they?!' I don't know why I just told you all that. I should go to bed!

I'm sure they're not. Family tend to give it to you straight.. Its the friends or should I say 'acquaintances' that sometimes don't. I don't think I'm concerned about being 'ugly' per se. More about looking like walking death. Consequently, part of the motivator behind this forum post was whether other people, too, recognise that not everyone looks so well after this surgery?

Yeah, the tracking thing.. I don't think I'd have the patience for that. I know I'll probably have to in the start, but i'm kinda hoping that if I follow the rules; protein, veg, carbs and no drinking during meals, that I'll be okay and will relax into it.. Although I'm also worried if I relax too much, I'll be stuffing pizza in no time!

Hehe, bless you. If it would make you feel more comfortable, I could always adopt; txt spk wit no gramor & spelin mistaks so wot i am sayin can be underztood? That's crazy. It actually took me time to be able to write that! Okay, better stop, else I'll be vilified for mocking the afflicted :|

I'm 36 and in my head, even at my weight, I look like Venus De Milo, what are you on about?! LOL (kidding ) I totally agree with you on the thin face thing. It's not a good look. I don't know how tall you are, but 165 would be perfect for me, too. Do you have any suggestions on how to maintain calorie intake in the first couple of months?

That's really good. Congratulations on your success. Have you any suggestions for upping the calorie intake in the first two months? I have visions of my being so worried about the calorie crash, that I'll be tempted to sip double cream or something?!

That's excellent advice indeed. May I ask how you got those 1200 calories and above in, in the end and what prevented you from being able to do that for the first 6 months?

LOL guys, that's too funny. I have made a boo-boo, by posting this thread twice. Most comments are on the other one under 'general'. If you wouldn't mind posting your views on there? 'blinded by the lack of spelling errors'.. I just burst out laughing at that one! x

Thank you so much, that's truly very kind of you. You've hit in on the head - the sickly look. With so many different opinions on what is right and what is insufficient across the board, it is easy to get very confused. I guess we can blame the lack of long-term medical research on this issue being as to why it's so difficult to get a cohesive and collective response from all those in the business of providing this surgery. Consequently, people are left trying to find their own answers and through trial and error, finding what's right for them. I'm wondering whether there will ever be a definitive stance on the issue? Or, we all make a 'best guess'. I love your statement about hoping to recognise perfection. I'm hoping to recognise when I'm losing too much because I do not want to look ill. If I do, be assured, I shall be promptly heading for my favourite restaurant for a creme brulee (or three)!

TOTALLY! People also seem to gasp for breath while they're talking for what appears the first 6 months, along with the burp-stifling! Oh, and mental confusion seems apparent, too. It is concerning. In addition to these things, what I have also observed, is that there is a bit of a change in personality,too, as the videos go on. People start out fairly balanced, contemplative, reserved, grateful for small milestones, to then changing in line with their weight, to on occasion, becoming quite arrogant and demanding. Why is this? Maybe that's another question for another forum topic

Hehe, like your style! Self body-image is such a big thing, isn't it? I, too, am proportioned. I, too, don't want to lose my healthy facial coverage either. Has anyone got any answers for this one?! How do we prevent looking gaunt?!

That's a healthy attitude. Do you think you'll know when 'enough is enough' though? How will you gauge it? By clothes? Comments? Looks? It's a great achievement so far, I wish you all the best in finding your sweet spot

You're right on that one; one mans Water is another mans champagne. But no, the 'mis-proportioned' thing is not really what I'm talking about. It's the gaunt, drawn, malnourished look. Generally looking like walking death. Then, the question - when is enough, simply, enough?

I'm liking the sound of 'normal' - that's all I want to be. May I ask how you achieved and maintained that? As for the 'girls' and the belly, I'll be in exactly the same position. As for the decision, I'm a little too far down the road now. Got 4 weeks till D-Day! Arrrgh! The above isn't a deal-breaker, as such. I just felt I'd like some information from you guys who have done it already as to how I could prevent myself from looking like I just got liberated from Belsen!

Is it possible to 'choose' a higher goal weight and be able to maintain it? From what I've seen, this 'choice' is often taken out of their hands as people seem to struggle to get enough calories in to prevent the crash to gauntsville. Are there any tips and tricks to stop that? As for people looking 'better' with 100lbs on them - or not, as the case may be. I do believe, in contrast to some people who have taken the weightloss too far - whether it be intentional or unintentional - some people do appear to look better in their original form. Maybe that's all subjective; beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all that.... It's good to get opinions on that aspect.

Yeah, the double post was due to my realising I'd initially shoved the post in probably the wrong section. 'Cause it's not really a rant - more an observation. I thought, being the originator, I'd be able to delete the first one. Clearly not - unless there was something I missed? Maybe that's something an administrator and the system designer can sort out? I can appreciate that people didn't like the comment the lady in question had made about people looking better before the surgery. I hope I've made it clear that I'm not saying all people look better before - just some. Sometimes it's a stark contrast and sometimes, it almost looks, well, wrong. I'd be interested in your view on how long the 'gaunt' stage lasts? As for the supermodel package? Damn, if they had that available, I'd certainly be first to sign up! Maybe not the emaciated look, but certainly that 'dewy','rosey cheeked', 'the chanel drapes beautifully darrrlink' kind of look would do me nicely!

Thank you. I'm all up for a bit of meaningful conversation! I'm looking forward to comments and hope people aren't critical of it. It's just an observation of 'some', not all, people who have undergone the procedure. Glad you found it interesting reading, though. I have lots of these types of thoughts bouncing around my head and they don't seem to be covered. Maybe the feedback will generate some more observations - who knows!

Okay, I don't know whether this topic has been covered before. If it has, my sincere apologies. However, there is something I have found on my explorations of all things 'sleeve', that has somewhat resonated with me. And not always in a good way. If you're a bit like me, you've devoured everything available on the big ol' t'internet about the wondrous vertical sleeve gastrectomy. From doctors, to insurance, location, cost, life impact, health implications, surgery competence, surgery complications, long-term outlook, short-term discomforts, scale victories, non-scale victories, psychological wellbeing, psychological hurdles, physiological impediments, familial responsibilities, the Quest for Protein, the quest for Fluid, Protein Bars, protein shakes; which brand is the best, which brand is the worst. The areas for consideration in this matter are endless and, if you're like me, you keep stumbling across extra information which every so often makes you say 'oh no, not another thing to consider'.. Getting to the point, I don't think there is a person amongst us that hasn't trawled the endless YouTube videos and the photos on this website of the dramatic transformations people have achieved. It is almost a voyeuristic pleasure which provides instant gratification and codification as to why you're taking this road. You see people and think 'wow, that could be me'. Whilst clearly, dramatic weight loss will have significantly improved people's health and general wellbeing; reducing or eliminating comorbidities and making their prognosis much better than when they were significantly overweight. There is something that just won't leave me. Have any of you seen photos and videos (and please don't quote specifics) where you've thought either a) you looked better when you were heavier or your weight loss has gone too far, stop, you're looking ill. I don't want to be one of those people that everyone silently thinks 'you looked better before'. However, one only ever knows whether this is the case until you get there and or generally, after the event in question. I guess, fundamentally, I'm questioning whether, in line with some medical publications, some of us are pre-programmed to be portly and we look 'better' portly as a consequence? I know I shouldn't be concerned about this, because health comes first, right? However, when I see people with thinning hair/ no hair, degraded teeth, grey complexions, sunken cheeks, sunken eyes, I sometimes question whether this is the right thing to do, or are people, behind my back (and knowing some of the people I know), to my face, going to be thinking 'crikey, she looks awful'... I have seen, particularly with some photos and videos over a lengthy period of time, people achieve a 'sweet spot' for looking 'well'. However and more often than not, they don't appear to stay at this. Is there a middle ground between meaty and malnourished? Can it realistically be reached and maintained? What are your thoughts, people? Would be good to hear them x

Okay, I don't know whether this topic has been covered before. If it has, my sincere apologies. However, there is something I have found on my explorations of all things 'sleeve', that has somewhat resonated with me. And not always in a good way. If you're a bit like me, you've devoured everything available on the big ol' t'internet about the wondrous vertical sleeve gastrectomy. From doctors, to insurance, location, cost, life impact, health implications, surgery competence, surgery complications, long-term outlook, short-term discomforts, scale victories, non-scale victories, psychological wellbeing, psychological hurdles, physiological impediments, familial responsibilities, the Quest for Protein, the quest for Fluid, Protein Bars, protein shakes; which brand is the best, which brand is the worst. The areas for consideration in this matter are endless and, if you're like me, you keep stumbling across extra information which every so often makes you say 'oh no, not another thing to consider'.. Getting to the point, I don't think there is a person amongst us that hasn't trawled the endless YouTube videos and the photos on this website of the dramatic transformations people have achieved. It is almost a voyeuristic pleasure which provides instant gratification and codification as to why you're taking this road. You see people and think 'wow, that could be me'. Whilst clearly, dramatic weight loss will have significantly improved people's health and general wellbeing; reducing or eliminating comorbidities and making their prognosis much better than when they were significantly overweight. There is something that just won't leave me. Have any of you seen photos and videos (and please don't quote specifics) where you've thought either a) you looked better when you were heavier or your weight loss has gone too far, stop, you're looking ill. I don't want to be one of those people that everyone silently thinks 'you looked better before'. However, one only ever knows whether this is the case until you get there and or generally, after the event in question. I guess, fundamentally, I'm questioning whether, in line with some medical publications, some of us are pre-programmed to be portly and we look 'better' portly as a consequence? I know I shouldn't be concerned about this, because health comes first, right? However, when I see people with thinning hair/ no hair, degraded teeth, grey complexions, sunken cheeks, sunken eyes, I sometimes question whether this is the right thing to do, or are people, behind my back (and knowing some of the people I know), to my face, going to be thinking 'crikey, she looks awful'... I have seen, particularly with some photos and videos over a lengthy period of time, people achieve a 'sweet spot' for looking 'well'. However and more often than not, they don't appear to stay at this. Is there a middle ground between meaty and malnourished? Can it realistically be reached and maintained? What are your thoughts, people? Would be good to hear them x

I had my last visit before my surgery with the nutritionist today. He said 'if you're struggling to get fluids in, above everything and all, make what you drink skimmed milk. Ideally with some protein powder in it, but milk is essential. None of that almond or soya milk either, they're stripped of their nutrients. Your body desperately needs the calcium and the protein so if you can't manage anything else, aim for that.' Seems like fair advice. I feel for you and for the record, 5 kids are exercise enough! Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing great. I hope you feel much better very soon. Hang on in there

Hey guys! I'm on the 2nd September, too! Except, I'm in the United Kingdom. It'd be good to keep in touch to see how each of us are getting on. I'm bricking it!! How are you guys feeling? I'm so worried about losing my hair, losing my boobs and having so much spare skin, I could re-cover the sofa with it, I don't know what to focus on first!

[Contemporary man] is blind to the fact that, with all his rationality and efficiency, he is possessed by "powers" that are beyond his control. His gods and demons have not disappeared at all; they have merely got new names. They keep him on the run with restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications, an insatiable need for pills, alcohol, tobacco, food – and, above all, a large array of neuroses. (Jung, 1964:82).

I feel the need for alcohol.

No one likes a mirror held up to themselves and everything can be said - it's just all in the delivery. If you have an expressive face, like I have, I often fail in containing my horror to some things people say in real life.Consequently, I will never be in the diplomatic service! However, this is a chat room. My advice, for what it's worth? Be mindful of the fact that text can be open to interpretation and unless you're careful; timing, structure, punctuation and context is everything! If you blurt out a 'WTF?! You're eating burgers?!!' straight after someone's announced it to a room, it's going to put people's backs up. If you meant it as a more of an enquiry, as a form of self reflection for your eating preferences and restrictions; I may have couched it like this 'don't think I could stomach that at this stage. Does it sit okay in your sleeve?' If you can recognise what I did there... You'll be okay in the future. As for what you eat - it's your journey. It's your rules. Best of luck

I'm in awe of you - really. I smoke 20 a day, which can jump up to 30-40 if I've been drinking. My surgery is planned for the 2nd September. They know I smoke, raised an eyebrow on confirmation of it, but didn't say in direct terms 'you must quit'. Consequently and like any true card-carrying nicotine addict, I rationalised it in my brain (because, like you, I like smoking and it is most definitely part of my identify), that it's okay to continue. I, too, bought one of the e-ciggie set-ups, but it ended up giving me Bronchitis (probably because I was puffing on it so intensely) so its been languishing in my drawer ever since. I hear though, that if you smoke after surgery, it's a sure fire way (other than slowing the recovery) to getting ulcers and excess acid? Did your Docs/nurses say anything about continuing using the e-ciggie after surgery at all? Again, absolutely well done you. It's truly a massive achievement and I am thoroughly envious of your levels of resolve and will power! All the best, Revs