MichiganChic

Yeah, my fitbit and myfitness pal and other such calculators say I should be able to eat around 1400 calories, but I can't. Life is not fair It explains why I was never able to lose weight, most certainly. I was not dealing in truths.

I don't go around preaching to strangers and acquaintances, either. If someone would have done that to me, I would have been offended. And it would not have done any good because none of can lose weight without the right mindset. No one can give that to us. The man the OP referred to clearly knows what he wants to do. People get bad health diagnoses every day, and they have choices. Depending on the disease, they can make lifestyle changes, they can have surgery, or they can take medication. Or they can do nothing. I know plenty of people who have been diagnosed with cancer and CHOSE no treatment. They decide to let the disease run its course, because for them, the treatment isn't worth the emotional/physical cost to them. They died, and they did so satisfied with their decision. It's a personal decision. Choosing to lose weight really isn't that different. It requires a drastic and permanent change in lifestyle. Some people CHOOSE to not make the changes required, and it's their right to do so. I think for us to judge them for is a bit righteous. Sharing your experience with someone seeking information is helpful. Trying to enlighten total strangers is probably not. I applaud the OP for her insight. She saw an opportunity that probably seemed like this person was presenting, and then as soon as she realized that wasn't the case, she backed off. Slightly different for me, is the case of my brother. He is morbidly obese and is now diabetic. I worry about him, and I know he will never be able to lose the weight without surgery. He is cut from the same genetic mold as me, and now has a disease that makes losing weight even more difficult. I do encourage him to think about WLS, but he is afraid of surgery, and I think he is not ready to change his lifestyle. That is his decision, and I respect it, but his decision also impacts us, his family. So, I'll no doubt continue to gently push on this with him. If he had a cancer diagnosis, I would also want to weigh in on those treatment choices. I probably sound hypocritical, but I see how approach strangers vs.loved ones as a different animal.

Yeah, it is always on my mind, too. Wish I wasn't that way, but after years of bad habits combined with bad genes and a propensity to gain, I know it's just going to be this way. But I'd rather struggle to stay thin than struggle and stay fat any day. It is much better life, for sure.

Then that's what works for you! Did you ever think you'd be 115 pounds!?

@@CowgirlJane Thank you for that story. I have a similar story and I'm arriving at the same conclusion. After this issue with the seroma and subsequent wound and now this crazy swelling, it does cause you to have a little Come to Jesus moment with yourself. I also have that loose skin on my upper posterior thighs, and terrible cellulite on my thighs. My thighs were better right after surgery, but have started to droop a little, and the laxity at my lower butt is enough to warrant a butt lift if I never had one. However, my before pictures were just hideous, and by comparison, it is still so much better. I have saddlebags on my outer thighs that I think look a little freakish, and I do think I'm going to get lipo. I also need a minor revision because my right thigh is bigger than the left at the knee. It was much bigger before surgery, but I'd like them to be more even so clothing fits better. As for the repeat butt lift.....not sure I want to go through all of that again and put myself at risk. Obviously, I'm prone to issues, so I need to really think about how much is enough. At what point is the risk no longer with it? My thighs are never going to be great, or even good. I am never going to look great in a bathing suit from the thighs down.So, in thinking about that risk/benefit comparison, I think the deciding factor is going to be the minimum needed for clothing to fit right. What I had done so far makes my clothing look and fit so much better, I'm thrilled with it. My arms and torso look great, too, and far exceed my expectations. My upper looks like a 25 year old, but my lower half looks like a 52 year old. It's important to really think about when is it good enough - and just move on and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Thanks again for sharing.

Hopefully this won't scare anyone, but thought I'd share what the seroma looked like before and how the wound was. All I can say is that it was a good thing I had years of experience as a Homecare nurse, because it might have upset me a little having to manage that wound if I didn't how. So much better now!

@@BethinPA Wow, that's a long time to deal with that! I had doxycycline injected into mine, but it didn't help. I would think a drain would help you. Honestly, that's hardly even a problem to deal with. Because the seroma I had wasn't just one big cavity, that didn't work for me. It didn't help that it was at the bend of my knee, so the cannula bent and stopped working. Do you have a capsule? Mine did, which is why it had to be opened up and excised. It is such a bummer to go through all of this, only to have a less than optimal outcome. Like now I have a bigger scar in that area than I would have had. Also, I still need some liposuction in my outer thighs, and I'm going to need a revision of my butt lift because that skin drooped, too. And you'll need a revision for stretched skin....ugh for us! But I still would do it again, and I do think it was worth it. I just think that my skin has NO elasticity, so I have to be realistic with my expectations. Some parts of me fared better than others. You just can't be 52 with a 30 year history of morbid obesity and expect to have no visible signs of it.

@@LipstickLady I'm so impressed! What did you publish? Let's see! Oh, we probably hate it when people hi jack threads, too.

My kids are older, in their early 20s and late teens. They have watched me struggle with weight all their lives. I have exercised on and off, been good and bad role model on and off, and really, really tried to just focus on 'healthy". They all have the propensity to gain weight, and my oldest daughter had a sleeve 6 months ago. So, while I think I'm a pretty phenomenal mother in spite of my failure to really teach healthy habits, you might not actually want advice from me! But I'm going to give you advice, anyway! I do think it is fine to weigh and measure food in front of your kids and read labels. I don't see how that is damaging to anyone. It's just a reality for some of us. It's not anything to hide or be ashamed of. By the nature of their genetic makeup, most of our children are probably predisposed to weight gain. Giving them some solid tools and actions they can mimic to control intake and weight is good. Portion control is critical to success in maintaining a healthy weight. I think making your time with your children active is a no brainer. Also, I think talking about and modeling weight management can only help your kids. Contrary to what so many people seem to think, they actually do listen to us. I suppose the trick is to not beat them over the head with it ad nauseum. Kind of like I do now.....talking about "I just want to lose 10 more pounds" over and over and over. Do as I say, not as I do

Can't believe I read this whole thread! That's 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back, and what's left of my stomach is in a knot! I have to say I am notorious for leaving out words. It drives me nut and pisses me off, and I do it a lot, even though I proof read. Sorry to anyone who is offended. Also, I have a crazy key board that skips around, so sometimes things are out of order and I don't realize it. I have a hard time reading run-on sentences, so I just skip those. If I glance at post and it's more than 2 lines with no punctuation, I just skip it (unless it was addressed to me). It doesn't drive me crazy and no one knows I'm ignoring them! And that, my friends, is the beauty of online communication!!

@@AvaFern how does your butt look now? Edit: LOL - just saw your response. Glad you have a good butt

@@BethinPA I am about healed, thanks for asking. I have a small open area the size of a Q-tip (cotton part) and the seroma is totally gone. I'm so relieved. I actually had tunneling that was nearly a foot in length, and a very large capsule. I don't think it would have ever healed without opening it up like that. I am now dealing with some swelling in my lower leg and foot that I didn't have before the last surgery, but I saw her yesterday, and she said she doesn't think it's anything to worry about. Surprisingly, the scar is not much worse than the original one, at least so far, so it might not even need revision. How is your seroma?Are you healed? I read somewhere on another thread that it stretched your skin?? Maybe it will shrink back down. Hope you are feeling better.

@@IcanMakeit good choice. However, there is no comparison between a tummy tuck and breast surgery. Cutting the skin hurts either place and that part is similar, but the surface area is much larger with the tummy tuck, and your entire abdominal skin is separated from the underlying tissue. The manipulation and sewing of the muscles is what causes the most discomfort. Everyone responds differently, and I've heard some people say they had little pain, so maybe you'll be one of them. If not, it doesn't hurt to know that pain is normal - and so totally worth it!! I would absolutely do that again.

You can start now. I'd get several opinions, and have that discussion with the surgeons. My doc told me there was really no more weight to lose. I was about 20 months post op and lost 140 pound, and had been at that weight about 6 months. There are guidelines about how close to goal you should be, so I'd ask the different doctors their opinions.

I would most definitely go to the hospital. I had my lower body lift at the hospital and stayed over night. I wasn't ready for my 40 mile car ride home then either. I don't think I could have done it the day before. I also had my arms done, and it was a 6 hour surgery, so the anesthesia really knocked me out. I had my thighs and breasts done at a surgery center, and that also ended up being about 6 hours. My surgery was later in the day and I had a hard time waking up, and didn't leave till about 10 pm. I kept trying to, but just couldn't stay upright. They should have probably sent me to the hospital, because my blood pressure was too low. I passed out at home in the bathroom, and the only reason I wasn't hurt is because my daughter caught me. So, if you have an option, go with the higher level of care. This is a major surgery, and the pain management will be much better in the hospital.

@TheRealMeIsHere! Is 115 a realistic weight for you? I would also have to net about 500 calories a day to get to a comparable BMI. I'm 52 and not about that life

I exercised religiously the first year. Then I got a new job and couldn't find the time. Then I had a couple of plastic surgeries and couldn't/didn't due to slow healing and complications. I'm hoping that's about over and I'm ready to get active again...though I'm not sure what I'll do. I really have a love/hate relationship with exercise. I love it when I do it because I feel like I'm really accomplishing something, but sometimes I just can't force myself to take or make the time because I'm so busy. It is something I have to consciously force myself to do. You can lose weight without, but exercise absolutely contributes to improved health and wellbeing.

I tend to be a grazer. I am successful, but it is because I work hard at not grazing. When/if I do graze I track the calories. I can say with certainty - for ME - that I could graze my way right back to 300 pounds. Especially at over 2 years post op, I could easily eat enough calories, even eating healthy. The idea is to eat enough to get full, and then stop. Eating small amounts never allows you to get full, so if you are not careful, you could just keep eating. It was a habit I had to break. The sleeve does not offer any protection, in that regard. My surgeon told me it is not the best surgery for grazers, but I wanted to go this route anyway. I'm not sorry I did, but it does require constant diligence on my part and a continuous struggle.

It was a scrambled egg. I could only handle a few bites of it, and it felt like a rock in my stomach. Even now when I think about, I can still feel that egg.

These are good too

I think it is way to soon to know. Honestly, I looked so thick after my lower body lift it scared me to death. It's been 7 months, and I still have swelling in my lower back. Most of that swelling is gone, so it looks WAY better. I'm sure the other thing to remember that even if it's not perfect, sometimes minor tweaking will get you to where you want to be. Try not to stress - it will be OK, one way or another!

normal.

LOL @@MoMo12onTheGo about the commercial. True! However, while the use of gastric sleeve for primary weight loss is on the newer side as far as research goes, it is not a new procedure at all. They've been cutting peoples stomachs out for years for a variety of reasons and using all kinds of stuff to secure them, so I'm less worried about that. I wonder about things like what missing hormones (that we don't know are missing) might do . Or things like hypoglycemia or hypotension. We know that those are potential late complications. Anyway, I don't worry about it anymore. It's too late anyway! I do worry about regain, though! There are more and more studies coming out, and recidivism of obesity is common, though the stats vary depending on the study. However, I do have some control over that. WLS isn't magic, so I do what I can to not add to that particular statistic.

I found, especially in the early days that my level of restriction would be stronger some days than others. I notice it less now, but even at 2 and a half years out, it still happens sometimes. I wouldn't worry unless you have problems with things getting stuck or vomiting, or intolerance to food.

That's the opposite side of the coin. It's got to be really rough to have such a severe restriction at this point that keeps you at 500 calories. Would be great if we could meet up in the middle, wouldn't it? Regarding the hair - I also lost a lot of hair, and that was one of the reasons I increased my calories from 700-800 to around 1100. I lost hair for at least 8-10 months or longer, and it didn't start growing back until I was about 14-15 months. It took about 6 months to come back, so in other words, a super slow process. I don't think it's all back, yet, but looks decent. It was thin to begin with, but at least you can't see my scalp all over any more. It is a hard road!!!