Oh honey everything your feeling is normal....I went through the same thing. In fact me being a single mom as well I'm pretty much tied to the house. Even though i hated my weight food was the only thing that made me happy...all those flavors and different textures and combinations...to never be able to indulge again??? I almost backed out. to be able to buy a $5 meal and eat it instead of 4 bites and walk away....to me that sounded horrible. Food was my enjoyment.
Even now a week out of surgery I am going through those same withdraws of did I do the right thing? I took away my vice, my happiness, what do you mean I can only eat a breadstick and not the Pasta or desert?? This is something I'm sure will always stick in my head, but with most people the health aspect is more important. I knew I couldn't drop the weight to my ideal goal and stay there for long, it's just not feasible anymore. I'm getting older, health complication are becoming more and more and my metabolism is slowing down. This takes the guess work out and makes you goal achievable.
I'm down 12 pounds since I started preop and I think it's due to the fact i have been on Clear liquids the whole time and have another week before I can start Protein shakes. You will always have that in your head yet when you see yourself getting smaller, your portion size isn't as important anymore.
It takes a while for the grehlin to really decrease...but when it does you really won't have a desire for tons of food anyway. Good luck with everything and I hope you the best!!